femme lightbulb moment
last night while getting ready for seder-(3rd, as part of the alterna-synagogue, always a week later), I realized because i refuse to wear pants to synagogue even though everyone wears jeans, that my femmeness is very much tied to watching my mother and grandmother (who's kind of butch in her own way) and other women march proudly into the sanctuary, a version of macho femininity.
I enter into a particular embodiment while getting ready for synagogue. I have to wear makeup, I have to wear a skirt, and boots. Even though I have moved away from the roots of my Jewish education into a considerably different jewish experience, the connection between my jewishness and femmeness remains ever present.
I think its tied to a fantasy of getting fucked at synagogue by another woman while im performing high femme.
The way i dress for synagogue now is totally a performance, a play on the fact that I used to wear the same type of clothes when I used to go before I had my Judaic click, but now my mindset is totally different. I'm saying a silent fuck you both to conservative judaism and conservative femininity.
or something along those lines.
holy mother of femme goddess, i get to go to synagogue again on friday night! im beginning to think i only go so that i can dress up.
I enter into a particular embodiment while getting ready for synagogue. I have to wear makeup, I have to wear a skirt, and boots. Even though I have moved away from the roots of my Jewish education into a considerably different jewish experience, the connection between my jewishness and femmeness remains ever present.
I think its tied to a fantasy of getting fucked at synagogue by another woman while im performing high femme.
The way i dress for synagogue now is totally a performance, a play on the fact that I used to wear the same type of clothes when I used to go before I had my Judaic click, but now my mindset is totally different. I'm saying a silent fuck you both to conservative judaism and conservative femininity.
or something along those lines.
holy mother of femme goddess, i get to go to synagogue again on friday night! im beginning to think i only go so that i can dress up.