death by amsterdam
i cant believe how this trip has turned around. ill be home in two days and now (maybe since ive been smoking pot five times a day for the last 5 and sleeping 3 hours a night) im totally anxious and having the most incredible separation anxiety. me and jess are really scared to be apart, the baby freaks out when i leave the room. we have been living together and sharing all hours of the day for the last two and a half weeks. i dont quite know how to reconcile this. as a kid i had the worst separation anxiety and its coming back. i dont know exactly when things became beautiful here, i think when we left the coldness of germany and entered into the lightweight freedom of amsterdam living. this city is fucking beautiful, the people are warm and friendly. i have seen amazing things...i have this bond with a baby i never really saw coming here. and its not only the babe, its the mama too. i dont quite know how to deal with not being able to protect them all day. luckily we've been talking about how weird/hard its going to be when we arent together all day anymore. its terribly strange and sad. but at the same time, im so grateful to have taken this trip. there is such craziness going on here. i cant wait to talk about it.