How I Resist (And You Can, Too--Your Way)
I recently wrote a brief Facebook post on how I feel I see things very differently from most people. Part of this is because in the past decade or so, I've spent a LOT of time (too much time) debating and discussing the political issues of the day, and it has made me annoyingly meticulous (and verbose) about separating factual strands from emotional responses. I feel that as a culture, we've begun to conflate facts and emotions into one really illogical stew. This causes us to be less tolerant of differences (because they become so weighted with extraneous, irrelevant energy). This becomes its own increasing cyclone of judgment, polarization and ugliness and can lead to the most bizarre and active and unnecessary displays of intolerance, even in those of us who should definitely know and do better.
Instinctually, I fall prey to these initial responses. It's not like I'm some perfected being--not even close. But I'm keenly aware of my propensity to do these things and spend significant time in self-questioning and analyzing things. I don't clean my home with the same time and thoroughness as I do my thoughts :) (Just another flaw.)
In fact, in large part I am writing this to remind myself how I want to live. I fall off the wagon as much as I ride it.
I find it exceedingly emotionally and intellectually challenging to be an American at this time in our history. I feel apprehension and horror at so many things that have happened before, during, and especially after the 2016 Presidential Election. Obviously, I am a progressive and so have been disheartened at the specific setbacks in terms of women's rights and the protection of our most vulnerable citizens (the elderly, the disabled, POC, LGBTQ, immigrants, the poor, children). For many of us, the attacks on everything we hold dear are so frequent and so varied that it is often hard to know where to begin to fight.
It is at a time like this when we most have to ground ourselves, remember to breathe, practice ongoing self-care, and take the necessary time to reflect on what we can do that is most effective, most positive, and prioritize our time and energies in order to achieve the most useful outcomes. One of those things is not to fantasize about what you would most like to do or engage in negative thoughts about feeling hopeless and helpless.
That is so much easier said than done. I feel I've spent most of 2017 in the fetal position, but that isn't a true assessment. Those are simply my feelings and an example of unreasonable expectations. When I have a personal problem, like most people, I attempt to resolve it. This morning, for example, I spent some time researching remedies for a dermatological problem. I will try various creams and serums until I am able to resolve the issue. I may not be able to completely fix the problem, but I will surely continue to engage until I find results that I can accept. Sometimes we have serious problems that are more negatively impactful on our lives--some are life threatening or involve chronic illnesses. We do our best to handle the situation--or we die. (Everyone does, eventually. Not a cheerful thing to remember, but not a matter of debate.)
The reason I alluded to my dermatological problem is because, while there are many apt metaphors available, for my purposes, the one I think best to describe this Administration is that of a huge, festering zit. Think about it. We have the gross, unsightly external that is Trump, but in order to cure the problem, we have to address what is festering under that surface. Many progressives would immediately say that the problem is "Trump supporters," but that's a simplistic and false response.
Three things underlie a pimple. One is sebum, an oily substance. Grease is a lubricant and it has its actual uses. It eases pressure, and since time began, man has sought to develop objects and techniques to make our lives easier. Fire. Stick implement. We have come a long way from those first simple tools, but, in essence, even the most complex forms of technology are created in order to MAKE THINGS EASIER. As Americans in the 21st century, even the poorest of us often have what would have been luxury items 100 years ago. The sole focus of the billion dollar advertising business is to entice us to purchase the fantasy products that will simplify our lives and save us effort and time, so is it any wonder that we've begun to see those things as essential to our happiness?
We have forgotten that, in the final accounting, we don't cherish the memory of our dishwashers and our fanciest automobiles, but our true legacy. What really matters is the purpose of our lives, not the sebum that eased our way, but the efforts we have expended to improve the substance of our lives and the lives of those we love--and the lives of those who will live on after we are gone.
I'm not about to give up my dishwasher--or any of the items that grease the wheels of my mundane existence. I am not suggesting you do, either. But I recognize that they're not the purpose of my life, nor anything but tools that give me more time and conserve my energy for the things that are truly consequential.
"Make America Great Again" has become for some a rallying cry for Trump and for others a tagline for mockery. Yet I think we each need to define what would constitute greatness (because I am convinced that all people want the place they live, their country, to be as great as it can be).
Many on the right insist that our country needs to return to its founding principles. I couldn't agree more. The purpose of our Constitution--to make our government "more perfect--is "to establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity." I don't see how any person who hasn't been poisoned by tainted, false (aka fake) reporting could think that the current Administration has done anything to "establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, or secured the blessing of liberty" to all citizens and our posterity. It has, in fact, erratically but systematically eroded all of these aims.
This will be a book if I list the ways in which these standards have been assaulted. I ask that those who, like me, recognize these are assaults on our very way of life, prioritize the defense of these principles in ways that apply the necessary lubricants of life without venerating the sebum or conflating it with purpose or goal. Many people are so worn down by their jobs and other daily responsibilities that they begin to think that anything that provides an escape from reality is restful and necessary, but "everything in moderation" means that a diet of mind-numbing entertainment can actually be harmful. For my entire life, political activity has been optional, because those aforementioned Constitutional aims have never been under siege as they are right now.
That is probably true for you, too. The times demand less sebum and more skin in the game.
Which leads us to the second ingredient of a pimple: dead skin. What I am about to write next is not personal, but biological in nature. Age is a factor in the drying of skin. The older we get, the more our skin dries out. This can often pertain to our perceptions. When we are younger, we are more open to change, or as we call it, "progress" or "growth." The older we get, the more change-averse we become, the more we become nostalgic and remember the past in a false glow of positivity. Most of us have known people who lived with a parent or spouse with great contention, yet when that person has died, with each year, the negative memories dissipate; the positive gifts are magnified. Even nonexistent qualities are somehow invented.
There are always outliers in every situation; I am simply speaking of normative behavior and processes. The eight years under President Obama, which seem to me and many progressives a positive time of increased acceptance of and opportunities for all citizens, are not perceived that way by conservatives. And while we may want to ascribe racism to all of those people, it is legitimate for them to see the destruction that took place in Baltimore and Ferguson as lawless violence. Not much "domestic tranquility" there. (There's another pimple analogy here for the taking: hopelessness and ingrained racism force the eruptions. Domestic tranquility is in the eye of the beholder, and some beholders have very different experiences. Individual reality is different from external reality.)
All of which to say, our culture loves to simplify the complex, and as we grow older, we pare down, we become risk averse, we become afraid of growth/progress because it is different and we increasingly embrace the status quo even when that status quo is harmful or benighted. One way to see the Trump Presidency is a wish on the part of those who are not progressive to return to the idealized (for them) past.
Dead skin. It clogs the pores, makes it hard for the vital, healthy skin to breathe. This biological cycle means that 100 years from now, progressives will look back on our times as full of that "dead skin." Today's mainstream conservatives would have been considered subversive 100 years ago: their views on the rights and characteristics of African-Americans, Gays, and Women would be shockingly progressive. Our current vision of the Constitution as a "living, breathing" document would have been inconceivable.
This is precisely what is meant by, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."
There are always setbacks but we do progress. As long as we breathe, so does our skin, no matter what our age. But the aging process is a drying one.
Which leads me to our last pimple component: Acne. It's a bacteria. And much as both sides of the political spectrum would like to think that the bacteria is all on the side of the other, bacteria is omnipresent and indispensable to all of our survival.
Let's look at the dictionary definition: "Bacteria are microscopic living organisms, usually one-celled, that can be found everywhere. They can be dangerous, such as when they cause infection, or beneficial, as in the process of fermentation (such as in wine) and that of decomposition."
We all have tiny one-celled beliefs that can be dangerous and cause infection. We seek to blame others for our problems rather than go to the root of our issues, we project our blemishes onto others, we feel that it's just too much effort to fix what's wrong, that it is unfair that others have what we don't, or that we suffer what others don't, we compare and somehow always feel aggrieved instead of grateful, we feel others are encroaching on "our" space when we're actually in a common area.
And that's just me on a normal day, infecting my purpose and my state of mind.
I have stomach problems and have to take the most extreme form of Probiotics to live a semi-normal life so I recognize the importance of good bacteria more than most. And every time I note how someone's temper tantrum reflects how I feel at my most primordial, or I find the energy to break through a block, or recognize how very fortunate I am--and eagerly open up space for another, this living organism is beneficially fermenting.
Unfortunately, our culture too often doesn't distinguish between the kinds of bacteria. Tribalism makes us think we're either all right and the other, all wrong. We reward simplistic answers and punish those who present complexity. That's part of the lure of the sebum to the detriment of necessary rigor--we don't want to have to think too much, and we resent any such demands, with increasing contempt for anything that challenges us on an intellectual level.
For those of us who feel that we must RESIST, it means we recognize the blemish on our democracy must be cleansed. Trump is an exuberant external symptom, but there are numerous factors that underlie how blemish became the President of the United States. In our rush to cleanse, we must be scrupulous in recognizing what we can fix, what must be obliterated, and what must not ever be destroyed.
We can not lose faith or hope. It's self-defeating. There are remedies. We must seek them. But this acne isn't a personal problem, it's endemic--we need to find others who recognize the problem and unite with them, because this is bigger than any one person. We can't despair when our solo efforts seem so minimal as to not matter.
We also can't be petty--if this problem is large, it's bigger than any one person or position; minor differences are inconsequential. Seek areas of agreement, not areas of contention. Try not to make anyone an enemy. Don't forget that "strange bedfellows" aphorism--it has survived for a reason.
The truth is we are very divided by the misinformation of some media outlets, to the point where some mentalities have become cult-like. Don't engage on the topics that will divide you from those you love who are, at this point, determined to ignore facts. At some point, reality will hopefully break through, but you are not the one who can deprogram them. Spend your time and efforts working with those who are not brainwashed now. Accept this reality, unpleasant as it is.
And definitely don't spend time arguing with strangers. Let them roil in their ugliness all by themselves.
Time and energy are not inexhaustible resources. Act accordingly.
Periodically, take time out from the fight to reassess. This is a volatile time and things move speedily. Intelligent, considered adjustment increases effectiveness.
Try to be precise in your thinking and your words. Feelings can make us believe/say things that are unnecessarily unkind and even untrue. Separate those strands between what is true factually versus what is an individual or personal truth.
Again, you're one person with a life to live. Give what you can to the movement, but don't spend one minute beating yourself up for not doing more. You are entitled to joy. Life is short.
But when it ends, you won't regret the time you've spent fighting for a better world for those who remain.
Instinctually, I fall prey to these initial responses. It's not like I'm some perfected being--not even close. But I'm keenly aware of my propensity to do these things and spend significant time in self-questioning and analyzing things. I don't clean my home with the same time and thoroughness as I do my thoughts :) (Just another flaw.)
In fact, in large part I am writing this to remind myself how I want to live. I fall off the wagon as much as I ride it.
I find it exceedingly emotionally and intellectually challenging to be an American at this time in our history. I feel apprehension and horror at so many things that have happened before, during, and especially after the 2016 Presidential Election. Obviously, I am a progressive and so have been disheartened at the specific setbacks in terms of women's rights and the protection of our most vulnerable citizens (the elderly, the disabled, POC, LGBTQ, immigrants, the poor, children). For many of us, the attacks on everything we hold dear are so frequent and so varied that it is often hard to know where to begin to fight.
It is at a time like this when we most have to ground ourselves, remember to breathe, practice ongoing self-care, and take the necessary time to reflect on what we can do that is most effective, most positive, and prioritize our time and energies in order to achieve the most useful outcomes. One of those things is not to fantasize about what you would most like to do or engage in negative thoughts about feeling hopeless and helpless.
That is so much easier said than done. I feel I've spent most of 2017 in the fetal position, but that isn't a true assessment. Those are simply my feelings and an example of unreasonable expectations. When I have a personal problem, like most people, I attempt to resolve it. This morning, for example, I spent some time researching remedies for a dermatological problem. I will try various creams and serums until I am able to resolve the issue. I may not be able to completely fix the problem, but I will surely continue to engage until I find results that I can accept. Sometimes we have serious problems that are more negatively impactful on our lives--some are life threatening or involve chronic illnesses. We do our best to handle the situation--or we die. (Everyone does, eventually. Not a cheerful thing to remember, but not a matter of debate.)
The reason I alluded to my dermatological problem is because, while there are many apt metaphors available, for my purposes, the one I think best to describe this Administration is that of a huge, festering zit. Think about it. We have the gross, unsightly external that is Trump, but in order to cure the problem, we have to address what is festering under that surface. Many progressives would immediately say that the problem is "Trump supporters," but that's a simplistic and false response.
Three things underlie a pimple. One is sebum, an oily substance. Grease is a lubricant and it has its actual uses. It eases pressure, and since time began, man has sought to develop objects and techniques to make our lives easier. Fire. Stick implement. We have come a long way from those first simple tools, but, in essence, even the most complex forms of technology are created in order to MAKE THINGS EASIER. As Americans in the 21st century, even the poorest of us often have what would have been luxury items 100 years ago. The sole focus of the billion dollar advertising business is to entice us to purchase the fantasy products that will simplify our lives and save us effort and time, so is it any wonder that we've begun to see those things as essential to our happiness?
We have forgotten that, in the final accounting, we don't cherish the memory of our dishwashers and our fanciest automobiles, but our true legacy. What really matters is the purpose of our lives, not the sebum that eased our way, but the efforts we have expended to improve the substance of our lives and the lives of those we love--and the lives of those who will live on after we are gone.
I'm not about to give up my dishwasher--or any of the items that grease the wheels of my mundane existence. I am not suggesting you do, either. But I recognize that they're not the purpose of my life, nor anything but tools that give me more time and conserve my energy for the things that are truly consequential.
"Make America Great Again" has become for some a rallying cry for Trump and for others a tagline for mockery. Yet I think we each need to define what would constitute greatness (because I am convinced that all people want the place they live, their country, to be as great as it can be).
Many on the right insist that our country needs to return to its founding principles. I couldn't agree more. The purpose of our Constitution--to make our government "more perfect--is "to establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity." I don't see how any person who hasn't been poisoned by tainted, false (aka fake) reporting could think that the current Administration has done anything to "establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, or secured the blessing of liberty" to all citizens and our posterity. It has, in fact, erratically but systematically eroded all of these aims.
This will be a book if I list the ways in which these standards have been assaulted. I ask that those who, like me, recognize these are assaults on our very way of life, prioritize the defense of these principles in ways that apply the necessary lubricants of life without venerating the sebum or conflating it with purpose or goal. Many people are so worn down by their jobs and other daily responsibilities that they begin to think that anything that provides an escape from reality is restful and necessary, but "everything in moderation" means that a diet of mind-numbing entertainment can actually be harmful. For my entire life, political activity has been optional, because those aforementioned Constitutional aims have never been under siege as they are right now.
That is probably true for you, too. The times demand less sebum and more skin in the game.
Which leads us to the second ingredient of a pimple: dead skin. What I am about to write next is not personal, but biological in nature. Age is a factor in the drying of skin. The older we get, the more our skin dries out. This can often pertain to our perceptions. When we are younger, we are more open to change, or as we call it, "progress" or "growth." The older we get, the more change-averse we become, the more we become nostalgic and remember the past in a false glow of positivity. Most of us have known people who lived with a parent or spouse with great contention, yet when that person has died, with each year, the negative memories dissipate; the positive gifts are magnified. Even nonexistent qualities are somehow invented.
There are always outliers in every situation; I am simply speaking of normative behavior and processes. The eight years under President Obama, which seem to me and many progressives a positive time of increased acceptance of and opportunities for all citizens, are not perceived that way by conservatives. And while we may want to ascribe racism to all of those people, it is legitimate for them to see the destruction that took place in Baltimore and Ferguson as lawless violence. Not much "domestic tranquility" there. (There's another pimple analogy here for the taking: hopelessness and ingrained racism force the eruptions. Domestic tranquility is in the eye of the beholder, and some beholders have very different experiences. Individual reality is different from external reality.)
All of which to say, our culture loves to simplify the complex, and as we grow older, we pare down, we become risk averse, we become afraid of growth/progress because it is different and we increasingly embrace the status quo even when that status quo is harmful or benighted. One way to see the Trump Presidency is a wish on the part of those who are not progressive to return to the idealized (for them) past.
Dead skin. It clogs the pores, makes it hard for the vital, healthy skin to breathe. This biological cycle means that 100 years from now, progressives will look back on our times as full of that "dead skin." Today's mainstream conservatives would have been considered subversive 100 years ago: their views on the rights and characteristics of African-Americans, Gays, and Women would be shockingly progressive. Our current vision of the Constitution as a "living, breathing" document would have been inconceivable.
This is precisely what is meant by, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."
There are always setbacks but we do progress. As long as we breathe, so does our skin, no matter what our age. But the aging process is a drying one.
Which leads me to our last pimple component: Acne. It's a bacteria. And much as both sides of the political spectrum would like to think that the bacteria is all on the side of the other, bacteria is omnipresent and indispensable to all of our survival.
Let's look at the dictionary definition: "Bacteria are microscopic living organisms, usually one-celled, that can be found everywhere. They can be dangerous, such as when they cause infection, or beneficial, as in the process of fermentation (such as in wine) and that of decomposition."
We all have tiny one-celled beliefs that can be dangerous and cause infection. We seek to blame others for our problems rather than go to the root of our issues, we project our blemishes onto others, we feel that it's just too much effort to fix what's wrong, that it is unfair that others have what we don't, or that we suffer what others don't, we compare and somehow always feel aggrieved instead of grateful, we feel others are encroaching on "our" space when we're actually in a common area.
And that's just me on a normal day, infecting my purpose and my state of mind.
I have stomach problems and have to take the most extreme form of Probiotics to live a semi-normal life so I recognize the importance of good bacteria more than most. And every time I note how someone's temper tantrum reflects how I feel at my most primordial, or I find the energy to break through a block, or recognize how very fortunate I am--and eagerly open up space for another, this living organism is beneficially fermenting.
Unfortunately, our culture too often doesn't distinguish between the kinds of bacteria. Tribalism makes us think we're either all right and the other, all wrong. We reward simplistic answers and punish those who present complexity. That's part of the lure of the sebum to the detriment of necessary rigor--we don't want to have to think too much, and we resent any such demands, with increasing contempt for anything that challenges us on an intellectual level.
For those of us who feel that we must RESIST, it means we recognize the blemish on our democracy must be cleansed. Trump is an exuberant external symptom, but there are numerous factors that underlie how blemish became the President of the United States. In our rush to cleanse, we must be scrupulous in recognizing what we can fix, what must be obliterated, and what must not ever be destroyed.
We can not lose faith or hope. It's self-defeating. There are remedies. We must seek them. But this acne isn't a personal problem, it's endemic--we need to find others who recognize the problem and unite with them, because this is bigger than any one person. We can't despair when our solo efforts seem so minimal as to not matter.
We also can't be petty--if this problem is large, it's bigger than any one person or position; minor differences are inconsequential. Seek areas of agreement, not areas of contention. Try not to make anyone an enemy. Don't forget that "strange bedfellows" aphorism--it has survived for a reason.
The truth is we are very divided by the misinformation of some media outlets, to the point where some mentalities have become cult-like. Don't engage on the topics that will divide you from those you love who are, at this point, determined to ignore facts. At some point, reality will hopefully break through, but you are not the one who can deprogram them. Spend your time and efforts working with those who are not brainwashed now. Accept this reality, unpleasant as it is.
And definitely don't spend time arguing with strangers. Let them roil in their ugliness all by themselves.
Time and energy are not inexhaustible resources. Act accordingly.
Periodically, take time out from the fight to reassess. This is a volatile time and things move speedily. Intelligent, considered adjustment increases effectiveness.
Try to be precise in your thinking and your words. Feelings can make us believe/say things that are unnecessarily unkind and even untrue. Separate those strands between what is true factually versus what is an individual or personal truth.
Again, you're one person with a life to live. Give what you can to the movement, but don't spend one minute beating yourself up for not doing more. You are entitled to joy. Life is short.
But when it ends, you won't regret the time you've spent fighting for a better world for those who remain.