The tale of Mary and Fred
My mum and I went to Cardiff yesterday, to clear out some stuff from my (step) Grandad's house. He's 91 now and suffering with Alzheimer’s and moved into a car home earlier this year, after a long spell in hospital. Before that he'd been living on his own since my grandma died in 1997 - though it wasn't really living, more existing, as he loved her so much and pined for her. Now, with the memory loss, he doesn't even remember who she is - which is so sad, but at the same time he seems happier now he doesn't remember what he's lost. We cleared out a load of stuff of the house for the charity shop and I brought back a few things I need and some sentimental bits and bobs - the art deco green glass bedroom set that was in "my room", a couple of photos, some tiny lead crystal vases my Grandma had on the windowsill that I used to fill with daisies when I was young. Being in the house made me quite emotional, because we spent a lot of time there as children and I have some wonderful memories of holidays at my Grandma and Grandad Fred's house (I had three sets of grandparents - Grandma and Grandad Yorkshire, who lived in Yorkshire; Nanna and Grandad Pussies, who had cats; and Grandma and Grandad Fred - because my step-grandad's name was Fred, of course.)
Before we left Wales we went to visit Grandad in the care home, which is a lovely place, thank goodness. I don't think he had a clue who I was but he seemed very pleased to see me, all the same! On the way home my mum told me the story of her parents’ relationship. I'd always know bits of it but have never heard the whole thing. Parts of what follows wouldn't seem out of place on the Jeremy Kyle Show, based on the bare facts - but it's a story of deceit and enduring love that I felt was worth recording for eternity.
The Tale of Mary and Fred
Yorkshire, shortly before WWII. Frank, a travelling salesman from London, meets Mary, a good Yorkshire lass. They marry and a baby is conceived. Then Frank is called up and goes away to fight the war, leaving Mary to deliver and bring up the baby alone. Linda is four when she first meets her father and she doesn't understand who this strange man is; in fact, after a week of him being home she asks her mother, in earshot of her father, when "that man" is going to leave. The relationship between them is never good and though he provides for his family, Frank is never really a proper father to Linda.
Frank goes back to work as a salesman and once Linda is more independent and at school, Mary starts a business - a florist shop. Her best friend Eileen trained as a florist before her marriage and she teaches Mary everything she knows, and Mary, being the creative type, picks it up very easily. Mary owns and runs the business but Eileen also works in the shop.
Spool on some years. Linda has a place at Exeter University to study German. However, her mother has become very ill and the day before Linda leaves for uni Mary goes into hospital to have an operation, heart valve replacement, one of the first operations of its kind in the country. Surgery goes well but she is very weak for a long time afterwards. Eileen takes over the running of the florist shop while Mary is recuperating.
Two months later Mary receives an anonymous letter. It says that her husband Frank and her best friend Eileen have been having an affair. Mary confronts Frank, who admits that they have been conducting the affair for five years. Next day Mary wakes late to find Frank gone, along with all his possessions, the money from the joint bank account, even the contents of the red tin where the bill money is kept. All Mary has is the money in her purse - a £5 note and a few coins. Later that day Eileen's husband calls, concerned that Eileen has disappeared ... she's gone as well.
Linda, away in Exeter and enjoying uni life, is blissfully unaware of what is going on. At Easter she goes to Germany as part of her degree course, and at some stage she stays with some family and her mother comes over for a few days - and finally tells her that her father has left. Mary tries hard to find Frank - and find out through the bank that he and Eileen are living in London. A divorce is arranged and the marriage is over. Linda doesn't hear from her father for three years - no birthday cards, nothing. Eventually she receives a letter from him, which she throws away. Another letter arrives and she reads it and agrees to meet him - by this time she's left uni and is about to go to Finland for a year to teach English, so she stays over at his house in Stansted, with him and Eileen, by now married, the night before she sails. As you can imagine, it's a difficult evening. The relationship between Linda and her father deteriorates to the point where she doesn't even invite him to her wedding. Once she has her own children though (me and my bro) she does make more of an effort, believing that her children deserve to know their grandfather regardless of what he's done. To his credit, though he doesn't see his grandchildren often, he does a reasonable job. Frank and Eileen eventually move back to Yorkshire and stay together, happily, till their deaths in the late 1990s. (Ironic story time - when Frank dies Linda goes up to help Eileen with the paperwork etc. One day Eileen has some friends over and they discuss an article in the paper about a man who has had an affair with his wife’s best friend. Eileen is joining in the shocked conversation … until Linda catches her eye, and she changes the subject very quickly!)
Back in Yorkshire in the 1960s Mary is finding life difficult. With Eileen gone there was no one to run the florist shop while Mary was ill so the shop was closed and the lease relinquished. The shock of Frank's affair brought on depression and Mary was prescribed Valium, but then felt like a zombie for a few years before deciding she'd had enough and throwing away the pills. Now she doesn't really know what to do with her life ... until a letter arrives from her cousin, Fred.
Fred's branch of the family live in Cardiff. In his youth Fred had been a footballer, at his peak he was player-manager for Cardiff City and won a cap for Wales. He married and the couple had a baby, Janet; it was a tricky birth as his wife Rita suffered pre-eclampsia and he was given a choice - save your wife or your baby. He chose his wife but the baby, Janet, was born tiny, but alive, and survived. A broken leg put paid to his playing career and after stints as manager at Newport and Barnet he and Rita had opened a newsagents in a small village near the city. All was well till Rita died suddenly, a blood clot in the brain, when Janet was 18. Fred struggled to run the shop on his own but he had no head for business ... hence the letter.
In the letter, Fred invites his cousin Mary down to Cardiff to help him run the shop. They've always been close and he's heard from other family members that Mary is at a bit of a crossroads in her life. It’s just what she needs to get things going again. She moves into Fred's bungalow - sleeping separately at first, but the couple soon realise that the closeness they have always felt is actually love. In fact, they are soul mates. After a couple of years they marry. Janet finds it hard to accept - she feels that Mary is trying to replace her mother. However, Linda is thrilled as she knows her mother deserves some happiness in her life.
They run the newsagents shop together till their retirement and then enjoy some quality time together. They're a perfect match - never argue, always happy. Mary's health is never good - she has further heart surgery, arthritis, osteoporosis, sciatica - but Fred is always there for her. Mary and Fred enjoy a very happy life together for nearly thirty years, till Mary dies, suddenly, on 12th December 1997 - Fred's 80th birthday. Fred spends the next ten years mourning for Mary until loss of memory through Alzheimer’s, curiously, takes away the pain.
My Grandma and Grandad Fred - two of the happiest, loveliest people you could ever meet.
Before we left Wales we went to visit Grandad in the care home, which is a lovely place, thank goodness. I don't think he had a clue who I was but he seemed very pleased to see me, all the same! On the way home my mum told me the story of her parents’ relationship. I'd always know bits of it but have never heard the whole thing. Parts of what follows wouldn't seem out of place on the Jeremy Kyle Show, based on the bare facts - but it's a story of deceit and enduring love that I felt was worth recording for eternity.
The Tale of Mary and Fred
Yorkshire, shortly before WWII. Frank, a travelling salesman from London, meets Mary, a good Yorkshire lass. They marry and a baby is conceived. Then Frank is called up and goes away to fight the war, leaving Mary to deliver and bring up the baby alone. Linda is four when she first meets her father and she doesn't understand who this strange man is; in fact, after a week of him being home she asks her mother, in earshot of her father, when "that man" is going to leave. The relationship between them is never good and though he provides for his family, Frank is never really a proper father to Linda.
Frank goes back to work as a salesman and once Linda is more independent and at school, Mary starts a business - a florist shop. Her best friend Eileen trained as a florist before her marriage and she teaches Mary everything she knows, and Mary, being the creative type, picks it up very easily. Mary owns and runs the business but Eileen also works in the shop.
Spool on some years. Linda has a place at Exeter University to study German. However, her mother has become very ill and the day before Linda leaves for uni Mary goes into hospital to have an operation, heart valve replacement, one of the first operations of its kind in the country. Surgery goes well but she is very weak for a long time afterwards. Eileen takes over the running of the florist shop while Mary is recuperating.
Two months later Mary receives an anonymous letter. It says that her husband Frank and her best friend Eileen have been having an affair. Mary confronts Frank, who admits that they have been conducting the affair for five years. Next day Mary wakes late to find Frank gone, along with all his possessions, the money from the joint bank account, even the contents of the red tin where the bill money is kept. All Mary has is the money in her purse - a £5 note and a few coins. Later that day Eileen's husband calls, concerned that Eileen has disappeared ... she's gone as well.
Linda, away in Exeter and enjoying uni life, is blissfully unaware of what is going on. At Easter she goes to Germany as part of her degree course, and at some stage she stays with some family and her mother comes over for a few days - and finally tells her that her father has left. Mary tries hard to find Frank - and find out through the bank that he and Eileen are living in London. A divorce is arranged and the marriage is over. Linda doesn't hear from her father for three years - no birthday cards, nothing. Eventually she receives a letter from him, which she throws away. Another letter arrives and she reads it and agrees to meet him - by this time she's left uni and is about to go to Finland for a year to teach English, so she stays over at his house in Stansted, with him and Eileen, by now married, the night before she sails. As you can imagine, it's a difficult evening. The relationship between Linda and her father deteriorates to the point where she doesn't even invite him to her wedding. Once she has her own children though (me and my bro) she does make more of an effort, believing that her children deserve to know their grandfather regardless of what he's done. To his credit, though he doesn't see his grandchildren often, he does a reasonable job. Frank and Eileen eventually move back to Yorkshire and stay together, happily, till their deaths in the late 1990s. (Ironic story time - when Frank dies Linda goes up to help Eileen with the paperwork etc. One day Eileen has some friends over and they discuss an article in the paper about a man who has had an affair with his wife’s best friend. Eileen is joining in the shocked conversation … until Linda catches her eye, and she changes the subject very quickly!)
Back in Yorkshire in the 1960s Mary is finding life difficult. With Eileen gone there was no one to run the florist shop while Mary was ill so the shop was closed and the lease relinquished. The shock of Frank's affair brought on depression and Mary was prescribed Valium, but then felt like a zombie for a few years before deciding she'd had enough and throwing away the pills. Now she doesn't really know what to do with her life ... until a letter arrives from her cousin, Fred.
Fred's branch of the family live in Cardiff. In his youth Fred had been a footballer, at his peak he was player-manager for Cardiff City and won a cap for Wales. He married and the couple had a baby, Janet; it was a tricky birth as his wife Rita suffered pre-eclampsia and he was given a choice - save your wife or your baby. He chose his wife but the baby, Janet, was born tiny, but alive, and survived. A broken leg put paid to his playing career and after stints as manager at Newport and Barnet he and Rita had opened a newsagents in a small village near the city. All was well till Rita died suddenly, a blood clot in the brain, when Janet was 18. Fred struggled to run the shop on his own but he had no head for business ... hence the letter.
In the letter, Fred invites his cousin Mary down to Cardiff to help him run the shop. They've always been close and he's heard from other family members that Mary is at a bit of a crossroads in her life. It’s just what she needs to get things going again. She moves into Fred's bungalow - sleeping separately at first, but the couple soon realise that the closeness they have always felt is actually love. In fact, they are soul mates. After a couple of years they marry. Janet finds it hard to accept - she feels that Mary is trying to replace her mother. However, Linda is thrilled as she knows her mother deserves some happiness in her life.
They run the newsagents shop together till their retirement and then enjoy some quality time together. They're a perfect match - never argue, always happy. Mary's health is never good - she has further heart surgery, arthritis, osteoporosis, sciatica - but Fred is always there for her. Mary and Fred enjoy a very happy life together for nearly thirty years, till Mary dies, suddenly, on 12th December 1997 - Fred's 80th birthday. Fred spends the next ten years mourning for Mary until loss of memory through Alzheimer’s, curiously, takes away the pain.
My Grandma and Grandad Fred - two of the happiest, loveliest people you could ever meet.