I'll never learn.
Things have not been going in my favor lately.
As previously stated, Eric broke up with me. I was have been very, very broken since then. I was getting better, though. It still hurts like hell to talk to him or about him or think of him or do anything that reminds me of him... which is everything. I'll have my good days where I can wake up and not think about him; I'll go throughout my day being relatively okay, and then something will remind me of him and I turn into a quiet, depressed, weepy mess.
I met up with him briefly on Friday, since I had presents I wanted to give to the LA crew. And they weren't able to come to the Christmas party, which was an absolute disaster all on it's own.
Anyways.
Eric was headed back to LA from Santa Maria after taking care of his grandma, since she just had knee surgery. And we met up, and we talked. He kept hugging me, and it felt really, really nice being in his arms again. He acted sweeter and more humble than I ever remember him acting before. He held onto me for a long time, and it brought back so many memories. I knew it was a huge mistake meeting up with him the second I saw him, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I only left when he pissed me off and outright told me he doesn't love me the way he used to anymore.
It kills me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Especially since he made so many promises and we had made so many plans and I thought we were going to last. And according to Eric, so did he.
I've been hanging out with a bunch of Anthony's friends lately, and they're pretty sweet. My friends have been trying to distract me from all the shit that's been going on too, and I appreciate it a lot. But they have their own families and problems to work out, and I can't ask them to take care of me. I've just been feeling so lousy and depressed lately, and it's getting hard to function properly.
I fell down a flight of stairs yesterday. Well, not a full flight; I made it about halfway down before I tripped and spilled coffee all over myself. Those stairs at Southside need to come with a warning label or something. It was pretty funny, actually, but my whole body aches today. I think I messed up my ankle and my neck, but I'm not sure. I slept on Mike's couch last night as well, so that could have something to do with my neck hurting.
Things just haven't been working out lately, and I'm sick of feeling so shitty. I just wish the past three months could be redone; I want a fresh start. I'd give anything for a fresh start.
As previously stated, Eric broke up with me. I was have been very, very broken since then. I was getting better, though. It still hurts like hell to talk to him or about him or think of him or do anything that reminds me of him... which is everything. I'll have my good days where I can wake up and not think about him; I'll go throughout my day being relatively okay, and then something will remind me of him and I turn into a quiet, depressed, weepy mess.
I met up with him briefly on Friday, since I had presents I wanted to give to the LA crew. And they weren't able to come to the Christmas party, which was an absolute disaster all on it's own.
Anyways.
Eric was headed back to LA from Santa Maria after taking care of his grandma, since she just had knee surgery. And we met up, and we talked. He kept hugging me, and it felt really, really nice being in his arms again. He acted sweeter and more humble than I ever remember him acting before. He held onto me for a long time, and it brought back so many memories. I knew it was a huge mistake meeting up with him the second I saw him, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I only left when he pissed me off and outright told me he doesn't love me the way he used to anymore.
It kills me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Especially since he made so many promises and we had made so many plans and I thought we were going to last. And according to Eric, so did he.
I've been hanging out with a bunch of Anthony's friends lately, and they're pretty sweet. My friends have been trying to distract me from all the shit that's been going on too, and I appreciate it a lot. But they have their own families and problems to work out, and I can't ask them to take care of me. I've just been feeling so lousy and depressed lately, and it's getting hard to function properly.
I fell down a flight of stairs yesterday. Well, not a full flight; I made it about halfway down before I tripped and spilled coffee all over myself. Those stairs at Southside need to come with a warning label or something. It was pretty funny, actually, but my whole body aches today. I think I messed up my ankle and my neck, but I'm not sure. I slept on Mike's couch last night as well, so that could have something to do with my neck hurting.
Things just haven't been working out lately, and I'm sick of feeling so shitty. I just wish the past three months could be redone; I want a fresh start. I'd give anything for a fresh start.