Ouch.
I feel sick. knots in the stomach.
as I got off the phone. I wanted to cry and call you back and tell you how much i need you. I can't stand the thought of you looking into another girls eyes.... It makes me mad, sad, angry. But isn't this what I wanted? Isn't this what we talked about before we went into denny's? I'm really not myself lately.. and i know that. I'm working on it. I'm not some low life fuck up that does the same thing everyday. I need some changes... i realllly have too much feelings for you. I can't stand it. See you are my longest relationship. I'm just scared. everyone is so happy that i have lasted this long with you. i'm proud of myself. but. like i said, things get old. I just need some new twist to things. I don't want you to leave, i don't want you to leave, i don't want you to leave... GD! it's sad how you can fall back on things. is it really worth it? are you tired of the same shit? jesus. this sucks. every day i tell myself that i am not going to be with you in about a month so take it by day. but i seriously do NOT want that to happen. it's like this battle between what i want to do and what i neeed to do. all i ever wanted, all i ever needed.
yes i miss you right now. at this very second. lol.. i'm sounding like you. Is this how you feel? I wonderd what possesed you to feel this way. guess we both know now. damnit. i can't understand why you are there.... is it the company?... the green? WhAT?! but i can't say anything. cuz i don't want to commit. i'm a sucker for independence. Shit.. now i can't sleep. i'm too worried that I won't win at the end.
a lot of things are going on.
job, money, home(parents), you, friends, school, future.
basicly.
i'm so tired of not knowing what to do.
i don't want to sound so emo.. but i'm so sad right now.
over reacting? sure. call it what you want. i can't stop it.. so it must mean something.
i probly ment less than half of the bad things i said today before we met niki and jordan.
we both are acting weird.
I think it's the season. just to make the situation light.
miss you.
`Chels
as I got off the phone. I wanted to cry and call you back and tell you how much i need you. I can't stand the thought of you looking into another girls eyes.... It makes me mad, sad, angry. But isn't this what I wanted? Isn't this what we talked about before we went into denny's? I'm really not myself lately.. and i know that. I'm working on it. I'm not some low life fuck up that does the same thing everyday. I need some changes... i realllly have too much feelings for you. I can't stand it. See you are my longest relationship. I'm just scared. everyone is so happy that i have lasted this long with you. i'm proud of myself. but. like i said, things get old. I just need some new twist to things. I don't want you to leave, i don't want you to leave, i don't want you to leave... GD! it's sad how you can fall back on things. is it really worth it? are you tired of the same shit? jesus. this sucks. every day i tell myself that i am not going to be with you in about a month so take it by day. but i seriously do NOT want that to happen. it's like this battle between what i want to do and what i neeed to do. all i ever wanted, all i ever needed.
yes i miss you right now. at this very second. lol.. i'm sounding like you. Is this how you feel? I wonderd what possesed you to feel this way. guess we both know now. damnit. i can't understand why you are there.... is it the company?... the green? WhAT?! but i can't say anything. cuz i don't want to commit. i'm a sucker for independence. Shit.. now i can't sleep. i'm too worried that I won't win at the end.
a lot of things are going on.
job, money, home(parents), you, friends, school, future.
basicly.
i'm so tired of not knowing what to do.
i don't want to sound so emo.. but i'm so sad right now.
over reacting? sure. call it what you want. i can't stop it.. so it must mean something.
i probly ment less than half of the bad things i said today before we met niki and jordan.
we both are acting weird.
I think it's the season. just to make the situation light.
miss you.
`Chels