(no subject)

[chelleunderwear]

there are certain moods, mindsets, and opinions i fall into occasionally that i wish to never fall in again. only problem is falling out of them. Right now the mood is distressed, the mindset is desperate and the opinion is that ive fallen out of favor with just about everyone. I just wish Walk Two Moons wasnt right about everything. "Everyone has his own agenda".....dammit for once i want to genuinely see this proven wrong. "Dont judge a man until you've walked two moons in his moccasins"...you nor i will ever truly be able to see anything from the other guys shoes. so dont judge. and dont assume people have everything. and dont assume you know them better than they know themselves. in any disagreement, theres a chance that both sides are right, but too often we dont even take the time to consider the other point of view, or the other agenda even to sympathize with. sympathize does not mean agree. "You can't keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your head." = dont dwell. "In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?" it DOESNT matter. Emerson and Thoreau have it all right in thinking that we have it all wrong. lives frittering away over these details. and in the course of a lifetime, these details dont even make it on the list. sure, its the little things added up to make the big ones, but we dont even THINK about the big things. about what it means to give, about forgiveness, about how awesome the world is and how many things we should be thankful for. Mermaid lagoon needs me but i have too many details...too much frittering. I offer up my moccasins to any takers and i wish my only agenda was that i could follow all of the concepts i am so good at preaching about. The birds of sadness seem to favor my head as a place to nest at the moment and at the same time i realize that in the course of a lifetime it DOESNT matter. bear in mind i dont see myself as being any more capable than the next guy to become perfect by comprehending the gravity in these philosophies, I'm sorry Emerson. And to Thoreau, who would say to me "Who are you whom the world has disappointed? Have not you rather disappointed the world?" I would respond, "yes. i have disappointed the world." and to Sharon Creech i would not deny my apologies.

with all that aside, i am thankful for the times in my life when something goes well and i think it would be hypocritical at this particular moment to not acknowledge it. david keeps me happy. only in addition to the loritabs though.... :) and im going to retract my using the phrase "just about everyone" above because there really are people that i know care about me and my happiness, and i wish my actions would do better at displaying that i care about theirs.

Stop this you