[ooc: Sometime after
this fight]
Michelle's in the bedroom on the bed. She's half-reading about Clinton's high school experience. But mostly she's thinking about what happened at the lake.
Should have stopped that before it started, I know I should have stopped that before it started. Somehow when it was happening she could only watch it unfold like a bad dream. But she never thought it would end that way. Or maybe she did, she didn't even know anymore. Just one moment she was talking to Jack about Tony's problems and the next...she'd let things escalate way too much.
When Tony looked at them she should have talked to him but the implications of what he was suggesting...did he really think she was that disloyal...or that crazy? And by the time she realized what was happening it was too late. Or she thought it was too late, or maybe part of her was hoping that Tony would finally tell her what was wrong instead of being distant or covering it up. But Jack pushed him too far and she saw the moment that he did. What the hell was Jack thinking bringing up Saunders? For a moment she'd let herself forget that Tony wasn't the only one with problems.
Not that it mattered. She'd seen them fight before - their disagreements could be heard through closed office doors but never had one ended in violence. Unless you counted the donut throwing incident of 2006 or the occasional push, but an actual punch? Except for that one time when Jack was getting Kate out of CTU and had to go through Tony, which wasn't a disagreement exactly, never.
Directly after he was knocked to the ground she'd been afraid for a moment that Jack would retaliate. But he just walked away.
Even when they were separated she'd never felt so distant from Tony. In those few minutes she saw someone she'd never seen before, an angry and jealous man who used violence to solve problems.
Should have stopped it she thought again, closing the book and turning over on her side. Oh God, what have I let happen?
Part of her wanted to just walk away when it started but like watching a car crash she had to see how it would end. And now she knows. Telling herself the fight had been coming on for a while isn't doing any good either.
At least security wasn't involved she tries to comfort hersefl with that knowledge but she doesn't know what she'll say to Tony when she sees him again. She might be able to forgive him for a momentary lack of control but suspecting her of cheating on him, that really hurts, and with Jack of all people who quite frankly Michelle's never thought of as anything other than a friend, even after the divorce. If Tony thought *he* was too messed up for her, why the hell did he think...no, she can't even figure it out and really that Tony would think she was sleeping with anyone other than him when she's the one who couldn't really move on after the divorce.
How long has he thought that and not said anything? - she tries to remember situations or moments and can't think of any. Or maybe it was like the "why don't we have more serious conversations" comment that had apparently been in his mind for weeks.
Michelle loves Tony but she doesn't like feeling that she doesn't really know him.