(no subject)
Most of the events of that day, I remember clearly. I sometimes wish it wasn’t so clear.
From the second Preston was born, I knew he was different. When he had blood sugar issues minutes after birth. Then problems regulating his temperature as well. When we were finally released, I wasn’t much surprised that he had jaundice and we ended up with a bili blanket. He just seemed more fragile than the other kids. I didn’t sleep at all the first week. I was so scared something was going to happen to him. We got home from the hospital on a Monday. It was Thursday night that I noticed something was wrong.
I picked him up out of his bassinet where he was sleeping on the bili blanket and he felt warm. I thought at first the blanket was making him hot. But they told me that that shouldn’t happen. So I took his temp. It was. 99.5. I thought that was odd but I wasn’t concerned much. Maybe I had wrapped him up too much. So I uncovered him, removed the blanket and he went back to sleep. A few hours later around 3am, he wakes up and again he feels warm. Temp was still around 99.5. At 6am. I picked him up and he just started crying. Like a painful cry. By this time, I knew something wasn’t right. I woke Damon up and told him that I was taking him in early. He had a scheduled follow up appointment for his jaundice with Dr Gudahl at 10am. But I wasn’t planning on waiting that long.
So I got ready to go. I packed the diaper bag and took Rebekah and Christian with me as it was grocery shopping day and we were going to hit Walmart after the appointment. I was still only 6 days postpartum at this point and needed the extra hands.
We left by 8am. Arrived at Kaiser around 9. They got us back in a hurry, as they usually do with newborns. When they took his temperature there, he was 98.6. Dr Gudahl came in and I told him my concerns about his fever just a few hours before. Even though he wasn’t currently running a temperature, Dr wanted to err on the side of caution and run some tests. He wanting us to head straight to the ER. I was reluctant at first because I was hoping to just do the tests there at the lab. But he told me that AV would be better equipped to do all these tests on a baby so little. So I agreed to take him over. They called ahead for me so that I wouldn’t have to wait in the waiting room.
So the 4 of us headed to AV emergency room. I know that at some point I bought the kids some sort of breakfast. Thank God I did! I called Damon and updated him. I called my parents as well. At this point no one was too concerned. Damon and I agreed that it was “better safe than sorry”
We entered the ER and they took him to the triage section right away. They weighed him. He was still only 6lbs 8ounces at this point. The nurse apologized and said she’d have to take his temp rectally. I told her that was fine. When the thermometer beeped and showed 100.5, I knew I’d made the right decision to bring him in. I was so focused on the temp that I forgot to warm her about what happens when you take a newborns temperature rectally and he proceeded to projectile poop all over the triage room! I thought it was hilarious but the nurse, not so much. Lol
As soon as I got him cleaned up and dressed, they called us back. I swear it was the fastest we’ve ever been through an ER. I think it was 10:30 when we got to a room. I say “room” very loosely as it wasn’t a room at all. It was a corner unit so it had a wall on one side and a curtain on the other separating us from a nice old woman. There was one large chair for the kids to share. And a gurney for the baby and I. But of course they don’t let you lay down with a baby so it was sitting upright. The kids had one tablet between them with a charger but of course we didn’t bring something to plug it into the wall. So who knows how long it would last.
The nurse came in and took some general information and then was going to send the Dr in. I swear before she even left, the Dr arrived. He explained to me how they take fevers in a newborn very seriously. It could be something as easy as a UTI or as life threatening as meningitis so they test for everything to be sure. He wanted to do blood, urine, and IV and a lumbar puncture. I consented to everything but the lumbar puncture. I wanted to wait for the other results before doing something so drastic on my 6 day old!! He couldn’t talk me out of it, so he left to order everything else. I remember texting Damon telling him that I was having to make all these decisions without him and it was starting to scare me.
No sooner than I sent that text, the head of Pediatrics came in. She introduced herself but I still have no idea what her name was. She came up convince me to do the lumbar puncture. She told me that they have to do it to rule out the scary stuff first. And that they couldn’t start any preventative antibiotics until it was done because it would taint the test later on. So finally I signed consent for that. Once I did that, things got scary.
They came in to do the IV. And that’s when I lost it. Over the course of the next hour or so, they proceeded to blow out veins in both of his legs and both of his hands. He was just screaming from the pain. I was crying. The kids were crying. It was absolutely horrible. At one point I had to ask everyone to leave because we couldn’t take anymore. Finally, they sent down a nurse from PICU who was able to get it in his arm. Because of the placement of it, they placed his arm on a board so he couldn’t really bend his arm. Then they came in for the lumbar puncture. That part wasn’t too bad and he even slept through most of it. Then we waited.
It was about 1:00 by this point. Christian and Bekah were starving. I was too. We were emotionally drained. I had change in the car and sent them to dig for whatever money they could find for the vending machines. The came back with a Mtn Dew. It was the only thing the vending machine had in it. Because of the set up of the room, I couldn’t really leave to go to the cafeteria. There was a gurney so I couldn’t leave Preston on it. I had to track down a nurse just to go to the bathroom! Finally she realized we were gonna be there a while and she brought the kids some graham crackers and apple juice.
A short while later the Dr came back and said that his urine was clean and that it wasn’t a UTI. That started making me worried because I was really hoping that’s what it was. About an hour later, Dr Brown came in. He was the head of the ER that night. He told me that Preston had meningitis and that preliminary tests had confirmed that there was white blood cells in his CSF. I know he talked to me for a long time. But I don’t remember half of what he said. I know he said I saved his life by bringing him in. That’s when I started to panic.
I called my parents and told them they needed to come to the hospital. I called Damon. Who was in shock. And so removed from the situation that I know he was frustrated. At the time we were a one car family and he couldn’t even get to us. I remember putting a plea on FB to see if there was anyone who would drive him down to us.
The head of pediatrics made her way back to us again. She told me that he would need to stay in the hospital to be treated. And that her hospital was more than equipped to take care of him. But, with him being so young, that complications often arise and that she didn’t want to have to transport him when or if he got sicker so she wanted to do it now. They would be transporting us to Kaiser Sunset. I asked if he was going to be ok. She told me that she couldn’t answer that because babies all come out differently from meningitis. But that despite how good he looked, he was a very very sick baby. She did say that I was very lucky to have him treated so quickly and that she was “optimistic”. I asked her how they would be transporting him and she told me that they would be calling a NICU ambulance.
I think I talked to someone at that point. Maybe Shannon? About the difference between viral and bacterial meningitis. I didn’t understand the difference then but I knew enough to know that bacterial was bad. I asked to talk to Dr Brown again. He confirmed for me that it was bacterial but because it requires cultures to know what type, that it could be days or weeks before we knew what kind it was. He was the first to ask me about my GBS status during pregnancy. I told him I tested negative. He asked about the other kids. I told him that I tested positive with the baby previous to this. He told me he suspected that I was positive by delivery and that this was probably caused by that. He told me again, that I was very lucky for bringing him in. Most parents don’t catch this in time. He told me also that meningitis is extremely painful and that Preston was more than likely in a great deal of pain.
It was about 5:00 when my parents arrived. I told them to take the kids to get something to eat and bring them home. Since we didn’t have anyone who could bring Damon down, my dad was going to drop off the kids with my mom and turn around and bring Damon back to us. I told them to hurry because the NICU transport was set to arrive around 7pm and I didn’t want to leave without him. I let my mom take a picture. Because honestly I was scared it would be the last picture I would have of us. And they left.
The next few hours were miserable. I was exhausted. I was in so much pain. I hadn’t taken much pain meds since his birth but sitting in that gurney all day, and the crying and lack of food was getting to me. Of course I didn’t have anything with me to even take. I texted Damon one last time before my phone died. I reminded him we were headed to Sunset and gave him my nurses name in case we were gone by the time he arrived.
The transport was running late, Thank God. Damon and my dad showed up again around 8pm. At that point, I handed the baby to Damon and left for the bathroom. I couldn’t stop throwing up. I was wreck. We sent my dad back home and just asked him to take care of the kids.
The transport arrived about 8pm. They informed us that it was a 3 person transport team. He would have his own Dr and pulmonary specialist for the drive. Unfortunately that meant I couldn’t go with them. They transferred him to an isolet and took our information down and they said they would be in touch.
I know Damon was glad I couldn’t go with him. He was worried about me also. We watched the ambulance drive off and I crawled to the car. He took me to get something to eat. I sent a few texts out now that my phone was charged. I ate a few bites, prayed it would stay down and I closed my eyes.
Shortly after we got going, we received a text from the transport team.
I slept on and off on the drive. We arrived at the hospital but had no idea where to go. Got another text from the transport unit. They had a room assigned to him so we’d be able to find him there.
We arrived in the room and they had transferred him to his crib and he was sleeping. The nurse brought us pillows and blankets and showed us how to make out the bed and we crashed.
...............
The next morning we were up early, as is typical at the hospital. Shannon and Paul were coming by. They did shift change around 6:30 and we met our PICU nurse. She was amazing. She was a travel nurse from Texas and really helped us understand what was going on. She told us that all his Drs would be in for rounds around 9 and they could answer any questions. She showed us all the machines. What wires were measuring his heartbeat, his breathing and how to pick him up despite all that. She explained all the medications. Both antibiotics and antivirals. They told us the next 3 days were critical. We thought we’d be here for 3-4 days.
Then she brought in a pump. She wanted to start building a supply of breast milk at the hospital for when I needed to leave. I told her I wouldn’t be leaving. Her face dropped and she smiled at me.
“Do you know how long you’re gonna be here?”
I said yes, they told me up to a week. 3-4 days of all went well.
“I’m sorry no one told you this but your baby isn’t leaving for a minimum of 21 days. 30 days if the bacteria is HSV”
We just stared at her. She left the room to give us time to process that information. Damon looked at me and said “that was life changing information”. And it was.
From the second Preston was born, I knew he was different. When he had blood sugar issues minutes after birth. Then problems regulating his temperature as well. When we were finally released, I wasn’t much surprised that he had jaundice and we ended up with a bili blanket. He just seemed more fragile than the other kids. I didn’t sleep at all the first week. I was so scared something was going to happen to him. We got home from the hospital on a Monday. It was Thursday night that I noticed something was wrong.
I picked him up out of his bassinet where he was sleeping on the bili blanket and he felt warm. I thought at first the blanket was making him hot. But they told me that that shouldn’t happen. So I took his temp. It was. 99.5. I thought that was odd but I wasn’t concerned much. Maybe I had wrapped him up too much. So I uncovered him, removed the blanket and he went back to sleep. A few hours later around 3am, he wakes up and again he feels warm. Temp was still around 99.5. At 6am. I picked him up and he just started crying. Like a painful cry. By this time, I knew something wasn’t right. I woke Damon up and told him that I was taking him in early. He had a scheduled follow up appointment for his jaundice with Dr Gudahl at 10am. But I wasn’t planning on waiting that long.
So I got ready to go. I packed the diaper bag and took Rebekah and Christian with me as it was grocery shopping day and we were going to hit Walmart after the appointment. I was still only 6 days postpartum at this point and needed the extra hands.
We left by 8am. Arrived at Kaiser around 9. They got us back in a hurry, as they usually do with newborns. When they took his temperature there, he was 98.6. Dr Gudahl came in and I told him my concerns about his fever just a few hours before. Even though he wasn’t currently running a temperature, Dr wanted to err on the side of caution and run some tests. He wanting us to head straight to the ER. I was reluctant at first because I was hoping to just do the tests there at the lab. But he told me that AV would be better equipped to do all these tests on a baby so little. So I agreed to take him over. They called ahead for me so that I wouldn’t have to wait in the waiting room.
So the 4 of us headed to AV emergency room. I know that at some point I bought the kids some sort of breakfast. Thank God I did! I called Damon and updated him. I called my parents as well. At this point no one was too concerned. Damon and I agreed that it was “better safe than sorry”
We entered the ER and they took him to the triage section right away. They weighed him. He was still only 6lbs 8ounces at this point. The nurse apologized and said she’d have to take his temp rectally. I told her that was fine. When the thermometer beeped and showed 100.5, I knew I’d made the right decision to bring him in. I was so focused on the temp that I forgot to warm her about what happens when you take a newborns temperature rectally and he proceeded to projectile poop all over the triage room! I thought it was hilarious but the nurse, not so much. Lol
As soon as I got him cleaned up and dressed, they called us back. I swear it was the fastest we’ve ever been through an ER. I think it was 10:30 when we got to a room. I say “room” very loosely as it wasn’t a room at all. It was a corner unit so it had a wall on one side and a curtain on the other separating us from a nice old woman. There was one large chair for the kids to share. And a gurney for the baby and I. But of course they don’t let you lay down with a baby so it was sitting upright. The kids had one tablet between them with a charger but of course we didn’t bring something to plug it into the wall. So who knows how long it would last.
The nurse came in and took some general information and then was going to send the Dr in. I swear before she even left, the Dr arrived. He explained to me how they take fevers in a newborn very seriously. It could be something as easy as a UTI or as life threatening as meningitis so they test for everything to be sure. He wanted to do blood, urine, and IV and a lumbar puncture. I consented to everything but the lumbar puncture. I wanted to wait for the other results before doing something so drastic on my 6 day old!! He couldn’t talk me out of it, so he left to order everything else. I remember texting Damon telling him that I was having to make all these decisions without him and it was starting to scare me.
No sooner than I sent that text, the head of Pediatrics came in. She introduced herself but I still have no idea what her name was. She came up convince me to do the lumbar puncture. She told me that they have to do it to rule out the scary stuff first. And that they couldn’t start any preventative antibiotics until it was done because it would taint the test later on. So finally I signed consent for that. Once I did that, things got scary.
They came in to do the IV. And that’s when I lost it. Over the course of the next hour or so, they proceeded to blow out veins in both of his legs and both of his hands. He was just screaming from the pain. I was crying. The kids were crying. It was absolutely horrible. At one point I had to ask everyone to leave because we couldn’t take anymore. Finally, they sent down a nurse from PICU who was able to get it in his arm. Because of the placement of it, they placed his arm on a board so he couldn’t really bend his arm. Then they came in for the lumbar puncture. That part wasn’t too bad and he even slept through most of it. Then we waited.
It was about 1:00 by this point. Christian and Bekah were starving. I was too. We were emotionally drained. I had change in the car and sent them to dig for whatever money they could find for the vending machines. The came back with a Mtn Dew. It was the only thing the vending machine had in it. Because of the set up of the room, I couldn’t really leave to go to the cafeteria. There was a gurney so I couldn’t leave Preston on it. I had to track down a nurse just to go to the bathroom! Finally she realized we were gonna be there a while and she brought the kids some graham crackers and apple juice.
A short while later the Dr came back and said that his urine was clean and that it wasn’t a UTI. That started making me worried because I was really hoping that’s what it was. About an hour later, Dr Brown came in. He was the head of the ER that night. He told me that Preston had meningitis and that preliminary tests had confirmed that there was white blood cells in his CSF. I know he talked to me for a long time. But I don’t remember half of what he said. I know he said I saved his life by bringing him in. That’s when I started to panic.
I called my parents and told them they needed to come to the hospital. I called Damon. Who was in shock. And so removed from the situation that I know he was frustrated. At the time we were a one car family and he couldn’t even get to us. I remember putting a plea on FB to see if there was anyone who would drive him down to us.
The head of pediatrics made her way back to us again. She told me that he would need to stay in the hospital to be treated. And that her hospital was more than equipped to take care of him. But, with him being so young, that complications often arise and that she didn’t want to have to transport him when or if he got sicker so she wanted to do it now. They would be transporting us to Kaiser Sunset. I asked if he was going to be ok. She told me that she couldn’t answer that because babies all come out differently from meningitis. But that despite how good he looked, he was a very very sick baby. She did say that I was very lucky to have him treated so quickly and that she was “optimistic”. I asked her how they would be transporting him and she told me that they would be calling a NICU ambulance.
I think I talked to someone at that point. Maybe Shannon? About the difference between viral and bacterial meningitis. I didn’t understand the difference then but I knew enough to know that bacterial was bad. I asked to talk to Dr Brown again. He confirmed for me that it was bacterial but because it requires cultures to know what type, that it could be days or weeks before we knew what kind it was. He was the first to ask me about my GBS status during pregnancy. I told him I tested negative. He asked about the other kids. I told him that I tested positive with the baby previous to this. He told me he suspected that I was positive by delivery and that this was probably caused by that. He told me again, that I was very lucky for bringing him in. Most parents don’t catch this in time. He told me also that meningitis is extremely painful and that Preston was more than likely in a great deal of pain.
It was about 5:00 when my parents arrived. I told them to take the kids to get something to eat and bring them home. Since we didn’t have anyone who could bring Damon down, my dad was going to drop off the kids with my mom and turn around and bring Damon back to us. I told them to hurry because the NICU transport was set to arrive around 7pm and I didn’t want to leave without him. I let my mom take a picture. Because honestly I was scared it would be the last picture I would have of us. And they left.
The next few hours were miserable. I was exhausted. I was in so much pain. I hadn’t taken much pain meds since his birth but sitting in that gurney all day, and the crying and lack of food was getting to me. Of course I didn’t have anything with me to even take. I texted Damon one last time before my phone died. I reminded him we were headed to Sunset and gave him my nurses name in case we were gone by the time he arrived.
The transport was running late, Thank God. Damon and my dad showed up again around 8pm. At that point, I handed the baby to Damon and left for the bathroom. I couldn’t stop throwing up. I was wreck. We sent my dad back home and just asked him to take care of the kids.
The transport arrived about 8pm. They informed us that it was a 3 person transport team. He would have his own Dr and pulmonary specialist for the drive. Unfortunately that meant I couldn’t go with them. They transferred him to an isolet and took our information down and they said they would be in touch.
I know Damon was glad I couldn’t go with him. He was worried about me also. We watched the ambulance drive off and I crawled to the car. He took me to get something to eat. I sent a few texts out now that my phone was charged. I ate a few bites, prayed it would stay down and I closed my eyes.
Shortly after we got going, we received a text from the transport team.
I slept on and off on the drive. We arrived at the hospital but had no idea where to go. Got another text from the transport unit. They had a room assigned to him so we’d be able to find him there.
We arrived in the room and they had transferred him to his crib and he was sleeping. The nurse brought us pillows and blankets and showed us how to make out the bed and we crashed.
...............
The next morning we were up early, as is typical at the hospital. Shannon and Paul were coming by. They did shift change around 6:30 and we met our PICU nurse. She was amazing. She was a travel nurse from Texas and really helped us understand what was going on. She told us that all his Drs would be in for rounds around 9 and they could answer any questions. She showed us all the machines. What wires were measuring his heartbeat, his breathing and how to pick him up despite all that. She explained all the medications. Both antibiotics and antivirals. They told us the next 3 days were critical. We thought we’d be here for 3-4 days.
Then she brought in a pump. She wanted to start building a supply of breast milk at the hospital for when I needed to leave. I told her I wouldn’t be leaving. Her face dropped and she smiled at me.
“Do you know how long you’re gonna be here?”
I said yes, they told me up to a week. 3-4 days of all went well.
“I’m sorry no one told you this but your baby isn’t leaving for a minimum of 21 days. 30 days if the bacteria is HSV”
We just stared at her. She left the room to give us time to process that information. Damon looked at me and said “that was life changing information”. And it was.