The undead
It occurs to me that I've been horribly preoccupied by zombies as of late. Walking back from the soccer field yesterday (which, strangely, seems so much longer ago than just yesterday already) a car passed us by. A woman was sitting in the passenger seat and was staring blankly out the window. I turned to Paper Boy and said "She looks like a zombie." He promptly commented that I've been watching too many zombie movies lately. This is true. But the comment is nonetheless ironic, because the only reason I've seen any of these flicks is because I've seen them with him.
Still, the zombie thing is getting weird. I know too many things about zombies. Their slow, lumbering movements make them easy to get by and fairly easy targets as they're generally unmoving, even when they're moving. It's the biting that'll get you. They're slow, but if they manage to back you into some sort of corner, or general situation in which you have no recourse, they're gonna get their bite on. And no one has ever survived a zombie bite. You necessarily become the thing you fought. In every flick I've seen these past weeks, the bitten becomes the biter and someone you love just has to blow your head off. Or smash it in with a shovel or some other nondescript household item within easy reach. It occurs to me how formulaic zombie movies are. The pattern holds true for each and every one. It's somehow comforting though. So what have I learned from all this zombie-watching? I suppose I have gleaned one valuable piece of information: should I find myself under zombie attack (though I'm not sure this word is an accurate depiction as it implies stealth and speed, of which zombies are clearly dispossessed) there will be no surprises. I know exactly what to expect, and every zombie conforms to his/her predecessor - I must only be armed with a heavy enough object to crush a skull at all times and my safety is ensured. Yay.
Of related subject, I am in desperate need of a Halloween costume. The party approaches and I am, as of yet, without costume. This simply will not do. Challenge accepted. I must engage the brain and create something noteworthy in 5 days. Challenge extended.
And with that, I close.
Still, the zombie thing is getting weird. I know too many things about zombies. Their slow, lumbering movements make them easy to get by and fairly easy targets as they're generally unmoving, even when they're moving. It's the biting that'll get you. They're slow, but if they manage to back you into some sort of corner, or general situation in which you have no recourse, they're gonna get their bite on. And no one has ever survived a zombie bite. You necessarily become the thing you fought. In every flick I've seen these past weeks, the bitten becomes the biter and someone you love just has to blow your head off. Or smash it in with a shovel or some other nondescript household item within easy reach. It occurs to me how formulaic zombie movies are. The pattern holds true for each and every one. It's somehow comforting though. So what have I learned from all this zombie-watching? I suppose I have gleaned one valuable piece of information: should I find myself under zombie attack (though I'm not sure this word is an accurate depiction as it implies stealth and speed, of which zombies are clearly dispossessed) there will be no surprises. I know exactly what to expect, and every zombie conforms to his/her predecessor - I must only be armed with a heavy enough object to crush a skull at all times and my safety is ensured. Yay.
Of related subject, I am in desperate need of a Halloween costume. The party approaches and I am, as of yet, without costume. This simply will not do. Challenge accepted. I must engage the brain and create something noteworthy in 5 days. Challenge extended.
And with that, I close.