Chapter 4d
Jared didn’t know what to expect when he was finally underwater. But surprisingly, he felt calm. Chris was at his right side and Chad as at his left, with Steve closing the line. For the first twenty minutes, Jared thought Chad might pass out, the way he was shaking. But a few seconds of Steve talking to him quietly and Jared saw Chad nodding and trying to control himself.
“He’s amazing, you know?” Chris told him. “If Steve wanted, he could control all of us.”
Jared nodded. He had no doubt. Steve had been in his mind and, if he had been a little more forceful, Jared would have done whatever Steve wanted.
“How can he do that?”
Chris shrugged a soft smile in his face. Jared would bet Chris didn’t even know he smiled anytime he saw Steve. He shook his head. Chris and Steve were too complicated to understand.
“He just does. Some of us were born with abilities. His is to get into a person’s mind.”
Jared frowned. He wondered if Jensen had some especial ability too.
“Does Jen…?”
Chris grinned.
“No, Jensen doesn’t have any.”
Jared smirked back.
“Except his prettiness.”
Chris laughed fully.
“Except his prettiness, that is.”
Then, Chad signed that he was ready to keep going. The four of them kept going down and down, to the point where Jared couldn’t see the light of the surface anymore. But strangely, Jared didn’t mind. He felt as if he had always known that below all that salt water, was another civilization. Like when one grew up hearing stories of a family one never met and when one finally meets them, it feels as if there always known each other.
Jared smiled secretly. He couldn’t wait to meet Jensen again and tell him that they could be together below the water or over the water. It would be so fun!
Jared had imagined so many different possibilities for their city to look like, that, when he did saw it, he was a bit disappointed. And so was Chad.
“That’s you city?” he asked when Chris and Steve showed them the entrance. It looked exactly like the rest of the landscape with colorful fishes everywhere, the only difference being two great water plants looking like a gate. Chorals were everywhere and no merpeople were in sight. “No offence, man, but that’s just a bunch of rocks.”
“It’s choral, Chad,” Jared corrected before Chris could.
Steve shook his head, that little smile still in place.
“That’s because we know how to hide.”
And suddenly, Jared could see a flash of light. He closed his eyes in discomfort. Beside him, Chris chuckled and Chad gapped.
“Jay, you have to see this.”
Jared opened his eyes again. The small fishes he had seen earlier were now merpeople and they were as diversified as the humans, male and female. Their skin were of all colors and, if Jared had thought Steve to be a bit strange with his translucent skin, there were merpeople completely dark green.
“It’s like a carnival fair,” Chad said in awe. Jared wondered where he got those comparisons.
“It’s beautiful,” Jared commented. “Your people are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.”
Steve grinned proudly.
“Just wait until you see Jensen.”
And Jared stopped. He hadn’t even thought of Jensen in his merman persona.
“Can he be more beautiful than he already is?”
Chris laughed.
“Son, Jen as a merman could never compare with him as a human. You only saw a glimpse of what Jen looks like.
Jared tried really hard to contain his excitement, but he was under water in the most modern diving suit with two mermen and his best friend and soon he would meet Jensen again. In his merman form.
He couldn’t wait.
“Oh, shit. Get down!” Chris said suddenly pulling both Jared and Chad back behind the rock they were in.
“What? What happened?” Chad asked.
“Royal Guards,” Steve answered pointing to a cortege that was heading at their direction. Jared guesses it had at least twenty mermen around what passed for a chariot pulled by two dolphins. “Fuck, of all the days the king would choose to walk around the city…”
“That’s the king?” Chad asked excitedly and tried to raise his head so he could see. Chris didn’t let him.
“Yeah. That’s our king,” Chris said with a growl. “Show some respect.”
As the luck would have it, the cortege stopped right in front of them. Jared heard Steve cruse. The royal guards made two lines at each side of the chariot door. Jared waited, he wouldn’t say it, but was also curious to take a look at the king. The merman that got out of it couldn’t have more than forty years. Jared wondered with this the King’s bodyguard, but, when nobody else got out, he looked questionably to Chris.
“Yeah, our king doesn’t appear it but he is quiet old.”
“How old?” Jared asked.
“Centuries old,” Steve answered.
Then the king looked at their direction. Chris put his hand against Chad’s month. Jared had the feeling the king knew they were there. And it was confirmed when the king’s eyes found his. Jared stopped breathing. He would not destroy his only chance of getting Jensen back. The king winked to him, his eyes had the same mischievous tone Steve’s had. Jared blinked. Had he imagined it?
“Does anyone know where Jensen is?” the king asked to his guards.
“He’s at the royal gardens, sire. He hasn’t recovered yet,” one of the guards said.
The king nodded in agreement.
“Oh, yes, that’s right. I had forgotten.”
The king turned around and informed his guards he wanted to keep going. There was nothing there to see.
As soon as the king had gone, Chad started breathing again.
“God, I thought he was going to find us! Did you see him? He was staring right back at us!”
Chris scratched his head.
“I think he knew we were here,” he shrugged. “Our king is one of a kind.”
Steve shot him an impatient glance.
“Of course he knew we were here, Kane. He’s given us our only chance. We don’t have time to lose, we gotta find Jensen,” Steve said swimming to the city. “Move, people.”
Jared was expecting a wild chase around the city for at least a few hours, with lots and lots of tracking. The king’s comment spared them of all that. Chad was a bit disappointed, but Jared was too relieved to care. He was going to see Jensen again and he was going to convince him to go to the surface with him.
And, while Blue followed Steve in his mad swimming across the halls of the castle, with Jared and Chad being pulled without any effort, Jared started to rehearse his speech. Chris had told it wouldn’t be as easy as he expected, but Steve had reassured him that Jensen loved him.
He barely had time to see the splendid passageways they were going through, although Jared had been alert enough to understand Steve was leading them towards the gardens through the less traveled path. Not once did they meet any other merman.
And, when Jared was starting to get used to that new way of traveling, Steve stopped. Chris stopped right after him. Blue swam in circles decreasing the speed, until Jared and Chad could get closer to the other mermen.
“Are we there?” Chad asked.
Steve nodded.
“Yes we are,” he pointed to the room in front of him. Through a daze of water plants, Jared could distinguish a merman. Although his back was turned to then, Jared had no problem recognizing him.
“Jen!”
But before Jared could advance any further, Chris stopped him.
“Okay, Jay. I know you want to see him again. But remember what we told you?”
Jared nodded eagerly.
“That he may be difficult to convince,” he smiled gently. “But he loves me. I know we could work something out.”
Steve shook his head in a disbelieving gesture.
“I don’t think I have ever met someone as optimistic as you, Jay.”
Jared shrugged. He was used to people saying that to him.
“What can I do? I live to please.”
And Chris let him go.
Taking a deep breath, Jared entered the garden.
“Jen?” Jared asked.
Jensen turned his head in the voice’s direction, his eyes widening for a fraction of a second when he saw Jared. Even under water, Jared could see Jensen had been crying.
“Jay?” he asked as if not believing in what he was seeing.
Jared smiled softly.
“That’s me, Jen.”
Jensen shook his head.
“Hi, Jay,” he replied in a resigned tone. Jared didn’t like it one bit.
“What are you doing here alone?” Jared asked, his voice was low, as if to not disturb Jensen.
Jensen shock his head desolated. “I’m saying goodbye,” he said. “I don’t know when I’ll be back again. Better memorize all I can now.”
Jared felt his heart tighten. “You’re… you’re going?” he asked in a voice devout of emotions. “To where?”
“Out of here.”
Jared’s world threatened to fall. “Out of here?” he asked disbelieving.
Jensen nodded.
“Yeah… I can’t stay here any longer. It reminds me too much of you. I couldn’t keep going alone.”
Jared stilled.
“But you don’t have to, Jen. I’m here.”
Jensen chuckled sarcastically.
“No you’re not, Jay. You are on the surface, playing volleyball with Sandy and Chad moving on with your life.”
“Chad’s in behind the water plants,” Jared said without thinking.
Jensen snorted.
“See? You aren’t here at all.”
Jared decided to change tactics:
“And what would you do? Would you forget about me?”
Jensen smiled sadly. “No. I just wouldn’t think of you anymore,” he answered with more sincerity than Jared could stomach.
“Why?” Jared asked. “You care so little about me?”
Jensen got up from the rock he was seated on and for the first time, Jared saw him as a merman. His tail was a dark green, but every time it moved, the light would catch it, turning it into golden. His eyes were greener than ever and he was glowing. God, Jared knew Jensen was beautiful, but this being in front of him was ethereal.
And they think I’m the god. Has anyone ever seen Jensen?
Jensen swam closer to Jared and looked into his eyes. “That’s exactly the opposite. I care so much about you that I don’t know what I should do with all these feelings.”
Jared closed the rest of the distance that separated them, invading Jensen’s personal space. He didn’t understand. “And what? Just because you don’t know what to do with them you thought I wouldn’t know what to do with them either? The hell, Jensen!!”
Jensen wasn’t intimidated. He matched Jared’s furious gaze with one of his own. “I thought you shouldn’t have to deal with them. I’m leaving, Jared. I don’t know when I might be back, you might never hear from me again. I’m doing you a favor not deepening some relationship that was doomed from the start!”
Jared swam back. “Doomed from the start,” he repeated coldly. “You think our relationship was doomed from the start. I don’t even know what to do with this information,” he stated.
“Welcome to my world, Jared,” he said turning back towards the city.
Jared took a deep breath. “Jen, I really can’t take you being sarcastic right now, not on top of everything else. In less than half an hour you told me you are leaving, that you would do your best to forget about me and that you didn’t have any hope in us. So, please, spare me the sarcasm, ok?”
Jensen didn’t respond, but he had stopped. Jared saw Jensen’s shoulders shaking.
“Jen, please,” Jared asked. He didn’t know if he should voice all the hurt out or if he shouldn’t say anything after. He wished Jensen would understand.
Jensen turned his head, giving Jared at least a string of hope. “You’re not real, Jay. No matter how many times I wished you were,” Jensen said, his emerald-green eyes wet and his face marked with tear paths. “And I can’t cause you any more harm than I already did. That’s why I wouldn’t tell you about your heritage. Because it would be dangerous to you. Our people would hunt you down and bring to here. You could get hurt. And I can’t stand to hurt you.”
Jared felt his heart tightening. Jensen still didn’t believe he was real. He wondered how many times Jensen had imagined him there not to know the difference between real and imaginary.
“Jen, I promise you I’m real,” and Jared took a moment to appreciate the irony that it was he quoting Chris’ exact phrase back to Jensen.
Jensen shook his head.
“Let me be, Jay.”
Jared was getting frustrated with the turn of the events.
“Jesus, Jen! I’m real! I’m here! I’m asking you accept me!”
Jensen turned back and started swimming again.
“You hurt me when you say you don’t believe in us,” Jared shouted cruelly and saw Jensen cringe. “You are hurting me now, Jen,” he said desperately when the effect of the first sentence in Jensen was mirrored inside himself.
Jensen turned back again. He looked into Jared eyes, smiling softly again, eyes bright. Jared immediately regretted calling Jensen back. He knew he wouldn’t like whatever Jensen said. “I can’t stay here, Jay,” Jensen insisted “I have to let you go.”
Jared felt his own tears falling. “Why won’t you stay?” he asked in a small voice. “Stay with me Jen.”
Jensen laughed. “What I wouldn’t give to do just that,” he said and Jared knew he didn’t plan to say that aloud. Jensen returned to Jared’s side, putting his hands on both sides of Jared’s face, he kissing Jared tenderly, telling Jared with no words that he loved him. “I gotta go, love.”
Jared didn’t speak. The sobbing had started in the middle of the kiss and now wouldn’t stop. Jensen took advantage of that. Jared closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he saw Jensen’s back retreating.
Then, he screamed, letting the world know it wasn’t being fair to him. Letting his beloved beach hear how hurt he had been. Letting Jensen take Jared’s heart with him.
Latter, Jared would guess Steve Chris and Chad came to him because of his scream, but he couldn’t really remember anything except Jensen disappearing on the distance.
“What? What is it, Jay?” Chad asked anxiously his hands on each of Jared’s shoulders.
Chris went right past Jared, trying to follow Jensen. Steve stopped somewhere in the middle.
“He wouldn’t stay,” Jared offered as an explanation. Jared felt Chad’s hands trembling. His friends closed his eyes slowly, Jared had the impression Chad was trying to control himself.
“Why not, Jay?” he asked gently.
Jared shook his head. When he thought of it, he couldn’t come up with a reasonably answer.
“He… he didn’t believe I was real.”
Jared heard Chris cursing. He returned to Jared’s side in time to hear his last words.
“I knew he couldn’t be left alone. Damn it, Carlson!”
Steve’s eyes shined in furry.
“Now is not the time, Kane.”
Jared tried to cover his ears. He didn’t want to listen to their discussion. There was too much resentment in their word.
Thankfully, Chad was there. His friends lowered Jared’s hands again and kept Jared’s head hidden from both Chris’ and Steve’ eyes.
“Will you cut it out? Jesus, you are worst than me and Sandy!” he screamed irritated. “Just kiss and fuck, already, because we don’t have time to be your marriage counselors now.”
Jared closed his eyes against Chad and braced himself for the matching shout Chris would no doubt return. But, to his surprise, what followed was a stunned silence. Then, Steve laughed nervously.
“I... sorry. We got a little carried away.”
“A lot carried away, I’d say,” Chad replied. The no-nonsense tone in his voice was a bit disconcerting to Jared. “Just… try not to kill each other, okay? Since I met you, that’s all you’ve done.” He lowered his eyes to Jared’s. “Jay, I really don’t know what to do with you.”
Jared frowned. He was surprised to realize Chad was actually sad.
“Chad, I-”
“What the hell do you think you were doing?” Chad asked softly, but with still in his voice. For the first time, Jared saw his friend mad.
Jared shook his head in desolation.
“I don’t know.”
Chad swam back from Jared, his fist opening and closing.
“Shit, we’ve come all the way here so you could confess your undying gay love for that man fish and you just let him get away? You, suck, Jay!” Chad took a deep breath. “All right. Let’s do this my way. I’ve had enough of all this drama. You stay where you are, Jay. Chris and Steve, make sure he won’t get into any trouble for a while, okay? I’ll go get Jensen,” and with that, he went after Jensen muttering to himself about all the insanities that had been shoved at him in the last month.
Jared just watched as Chad disappeared. A part of him was sure his friends wouldn’t e able to find Jensen. But, then, Blues passed swimming by him, going after Chad. Apparently, the swordfish trusted his friend.
“Fuck! Steve, don’t let the air get out!”
Jared turned around startled by Chris shout. Suddenly, Steve was over him. Startled, Jared turned around and saw the air tube of his diving suit leaving all the contained air behind him. Steve was trying to stop it.
“Blue must have hit it when he passed,” Steve said struggling to put in back at its place. The tube was going wild in his hands, the air escaping much quicker than Jared was comfortable with.
“Shouldn’t I-”
“Too late! We gotta take him to the surface!” Chris exclaimed shoving Steve aside, grabbing Jared and swimming up as fast as he could.
“Fuck, Kane! We’re too deep! You won’t be able to get there in time!”
Jared realized he should have been more scared than he actually was. After all, his life was in danger. But, he didn’t have it in him to fight. Jensen had left. Again. And Chad was in a doomed mission. It fitted that he died in the place that held his heart.
When Jared opened his eyes again, it was to see a too paled Chris and a smug Steve.
“I told you he could survive underwater,” Steve said slapping Chris’ shoulder. “But do you listen to me, Kane? Of course not!”
Chris turned to Steve, his face an indignant mask.
“Well, excuse me if I was worried that Jay was going to die! From what I know, humans can’t breathe under water!”
Steve rolled his eyes.
“Jay isn’t human, Kane! He’s a divinity. I told you.”
And that was when Jared realized he wasn’t using Chad’s diving suit anymore. In fact he was in his plain pink t-shirt and a pair of grey trunks. And he could breathe as well as he did on the surface. He could feel the water entering and leaving his body without drowning.
That’s cool.
Jared took a deep breath just because he could.
That got Steve and Chris’ attention.
“How long was I out?” Jared asked as soon as they were both looking at him.
“Little more than two hours,” Steve answered. “Chris was freaking out. He really thought you had died when you simply didn’t respond to him anymore.”
Jared cringed. He couldn’t imagine Chris scared for his life.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I’ll try not to do it again.”
Chris nodded.
“Make sure not to.”