(no subject)
This semester went well to say the least..got the 4.0 that I set out for. It isn't reflected on my transcript sent home however, because of the fact that my Sociology teacher cannot add up my points correctly and then she decides to go on vacation until the 23rd so my grade cannot be corrected till then. Ugh.......
Next semester is looking okay... I got Dave back for lunch so this should be exciting..
Mondays- Off!
Tuesdays- 9:30-10:45 a.m. US History
11-12:15 p.m. English
2-3:40 p.m. Human Anatomy & Physiology 2 Lecture
Wednesdays- Off!
Thursdays- 8:00-8:50 a.m. Intro To Careers In Teaching
Plus the rest of my Tuesday schedule...
Fridays- 11-1:50 p.m. Human Anatomy & Physiology 2 Lab
Yes..I did say "Intro To Careers In Teaching"..I am thinking of changing my major.. I've wanted to teach since the days when I had enough stuffed animals to set up in rows to be my students. I figure I will be in school for a while because I f*cked myself up at Buffalo State the first semester...
As we speak right now.. I am very lonely.. I am sitting home for like the 15th straight night doing nothing.. By choice? a couple times have been... I hate being lonely.. I will blame that on Joe.. he has changed my life around in like a 360 and I don't even know where to begin to pick it up. It hurts to be the center of someone's world for two years and then they decide that they have better things to do 24-7..
I need to let stuff out..
can't you pick up the phone to tell me that you made it home o.k.? can't you be just as excited to see me as I am to see you? you say that you love me but I honestly doubt it lately.. love is just a word to me unless you give it meaning..people have told me they loved me before.. nobody has really shown it.. after waking up for almost a year straight at 6:30 a.m. to drive to your house to wake you up and then drive you to work Monday-Friday.. I feel like that is all I am to you.. I am there when it is convienent for you.. when you needed me to register your car for you today because you can't take time off... but you can't spend the night at my house while my parents are away because I am scared of being here? I hate sleeping in this house alone.. you being my boyfriend..my "hero" should rush to save me... instead you can't even stop here and pass out after you go to the bar just so I will feel at ease...I always make sacrifices for you.. when have you sacrificed for me? I let you borrow any money I have at times when I need it the most and no matter what we do..I have to beg for you to pay for both movie tickets and food when we go out.. I don't mind going dutch.. I know we both are struggling but I have NEVER been taken out by you without me having to pay the next time or something like that... you treat my stuff like its crap and yours like its golden..who cares if the dog scratched up the hood of my car when he jumped on it? oh no..it doesn't matter to you because it wasn't yours and I didn't pay for my car..it is the only one I will have till I graduate! I have never met anyone in my LIFE who claims to be so uncomfortable at someone's house that they cannot bare to be there for more than ten mintues at a time.. you came over for twenty mintues on christmas and we have been dating TWO YEARS...I went on vacation with your family and shared the same hotel room as your father and his girlfriend AND HER SON! I didn't complain once..what are you so uncomfortable about? my mom begs for you to come over all the time just so she can know who I am "madly inlove with" and you're always too tired or sick or there is always an excuse! I hate it! she just wants to know you and you won't even let her! your tearing me apart inside and then you call me a moron for expressing myself when I cry... you think my tears are fake.. I am an emotional person but..wow...I can't do this on my own! I am depressed as all hell and I love you so much it hurts.. the diamond ring you gave me for christmas means shit to me because it doesn't show you love me! I don't care how much you paid for it! I rather have bought your time and affection! God I am hurt and you don't care.. I am forever trapped into this pit and you're the only one who can help me and you shovel more dirt on top of me.. I feel like I have absolutly nothing left on this earth..I have given SO much ALL the time... ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED is for you to notice me..to call me and tell me you're thinking about me during the day..to hug me..to kiss me! we don't even kiss..we peck and it makes me feel so ugly that I cry myself to sleep...I can't do this anymore..but then again.. what else do I have to do? I strive to make everyone happy and the one that I want to return the happiness feels as though he accomplishes that by just saying he loves me....
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS MOTHER FUCKER!
sorry everyone...
Next semester is looking okay... I got Dave back for lunch so this should be exciting..
Mondays- Off!
Tuesdays- 9:30-10:45 a.m. US History
11-12:15 p.m. English
2-3:40 p.m. Human Anatomy & Physiology 2 Lecture
Wednesdays- Off!
Thursdays- 8:00-8:50 a.m. Intro To Careers In Teaching
Plus the rest of my Tuesday schedule...
Fridays- 11-1:50 p.m. Human Anatomy & Physiology 2 Lab
Yes..I did say "Intro To Careers In Teaching"..I am thinking of changing my major.. I've wanted to teach since the days when I had enough stuffed animals to set up in rows to be my students. I figure I will be in school for a while because I f*cked myself up at Buffalo State the first semester...
As we speak right now.. I am very lonely.. I am sitting home for like the 15th straight night doing nothing.. By choice? a couple times have been... I hate being lonely.. I will blame that on Joe.. he has changed my life around in like a 360 and I don't even know where to begin to pick it up. It hurts to be the center of someone's world for two years and then they decide that they have better things to do 24-7..
I need to let stuff out..
can't you pick up the phone to tell me that you made it home o.k.? can't you be just as excited to see me as I am to see you? you say that you love me but I honestly doubt it lately.. love is just a word to me unless you give it meaning..people have told me they loved me before.. nobody has really shown it.. after waking up for almost a year straight at 6:30 a.m. to drive to your house to wake you up and then drive you to work Monday-Friday.. I feel like that is all I am to you.. I am there when it is convienent for you.. when you needed me to register your car for you today because you can't take time off... but you can't spend the night at my house while my parents are away because I am scared of being here? I hate sleeping in this house alone.. you being my boyfriend..my "hero" should rush to save me... instead you can't even stop here and pass out after you go to the bar just so I will feel at ease...I always make sacrifices for you.. when have you sacrificed for me? I let you borrow any money I have at times when I need it the most and no matter what we do..I have to beg for you to pay for both movie tickets and food when we go out.. I don't mind going dutch.. I know we both are struggling but I have NEVER been taken out by you without me having to pay the next time or something like that... you treat my stuff like its crap and yours like its golden..who cares if the dog scratched up the hood of my car when he jumped on it? oh no..it doesn't matter to you because it wasn't yours and I didn't pay for my car..it is the only one I will have till I graduate! I have never met anyone in my LIFE who claims to be so uncomfortable at someone's house that they cannot bare to be there for more than ten mintues at a time.. you came over for twenty mintues on christmas and we have been dating TWO YEARS...I went on vacation with your family and shared the same hotel room as your father and his girlfriend AND HER SON! I didn't complain once..what are you so uncomfortable about? my mom begs for you to come over all the time just so she can know who I am "madly inlove with" and you're always too tired or sick or there is always an excuse! I hate it! she just wants to know you and you won't even let her! your tearing me apart inside and then you call me a moron for expressing myself when I cry... you think my tears are fake.. I am an emotional person but..wow...I can't do this on my own! I am depressed as all hell and I love you so much it hurts.. the diamond ring you gave me for christmas means shit to me because it doesn't show you love me! I don't care how much you paid for it! I rather have bought your time and affection! God I am hurt and you don't care.. I am forever trapped into this pit and you're the only one who can help me and you shovel more dirt on top of me.. I feel like I have absolutly nothing left on this earth..I have given SO much ALL the time... ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED is for you to notice me..to call me and tell me you're thinking about me during the day..to hug me..to kiss me! we don't even kiss..we peck and it makes me feel so ugly that I cry myself to sleep...I can't do this anymore..but then again.. what else do I have to do? I strive to make everyone happy and the one that I want to return the happiness feels as though he accomplishes that by just saying he loves me....
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS MOTHER FUCKER!
sorry everyone...