another bummer
I rarely write in a journal anymore especially this one. It's all the same. Every day my luck worsens. My car doesn't work. My cell charger quit so now my cell is dead, and I have a terrible cold from walking in the windy rain. I can't sleep much because I am worried about the upcoming trial, and not having a car. Mys tomach hurts alot. I miss my friends and the happiness. I miss being happy. I am practically in tears now. I was so disapointed when I couldn't go to the SW show, I sort of saw it as a way of God saying, "I still love you Michelle. Go have fun" But then my car died. SO instead it was like taking a hobo's booze. It hurt. Now I really don't have any hope for my luck to change. It's one unfortunate event after another. I wonder what's next, another surgery? Chelsea's grandpa being aquitted? When I do sleep I dream about it. I dream about some how RJ being able to get visitations. I am always fighting it, asking the detectives why? And to make it worse, RJ's mother came to see Chelsea the other day. I confronted her about never telling me about her daughter being molested, she said it never happened. Then she had the nerve to say that she is caught in the middle and trying to get a job and a place to live! LIke she is the god damn victim! Of course I DIDN'T let her see chelsea and she asked if she could at least give us the present. I said NO and Slammed the door in her immoral face.
I wanted to take my frustration out by writing a story, mainly like the black widow, and the urges that I have with men. But try after try and I couldn't get started I decided to start research. I have been reading about criminal profiling to help me create a character and flawless MO and doing research on murderes and more on anthropology and anatomy. Even though I am not in school right now I still am teaching. I take detailed notes and I am startig=ng to test my ability at identifying certain characteristics in a skeleton. In one book wrote by a former FBI profiler, her gave scenerios at the end and we were to profile them. I did very well. Now that I know more. I see the criminal predetor behavior in someone I know. It worries me greatly. and I am glad that I got Chelsea away from her father as soon as I did.
I still have problems with my weight, I am so embarrassed about my size now even though I used to be the same size, that I hide from public more so than usual. I know I have people that love me and don't care about what I look like but I can't help it. As I type I fight tears. I am so alone
I wanted to take my frustration out by writing a story, mainly like the black widow, and the urges that I have with men. But try after try and I couldn't get started I decided to start research. I have been reading about criminal profiling to help me create a character and flawless MO and doing research on murderes and more on anthropology and anatomy. Even though I am not in school right now I still am teaching. I take detailed notes and I am startig=ng to test my ability at identifying certain characteristics in a skeleton. In one book wrote by a former FBI profiler, her gave scenerios at the end and we were to profile them. I did very well. Now that I know more. I see the criminal predetor behavior in someone I know. It worries me greatly. and I am glad that I got Chelsea away from her father as soon as I did.
I still have problems with my weight, I am so embarrassed about my size now even though I used to be the same size, that I hide from public more so than usual. I know I have people that love me and don't care about what I look like but I can't help it. As I type I fight tears. I am so alone