Scar Tissue
The saddest day of my life was August 11th, 2007, a year and 3 days ago.
"Chelsea, I think you're ready to be where you are now".
I've been gone from Bromley Brook since that day, but I still feel like I belong there, but at the same time I dont. I dont know anybody there anymore. I see pictures and recognize no faces. Theyre just girls that are in the same position I was 2 years ago or less. I pity them, but at the same time I am so jealous. I see pictures of them in rooms I used to live in and beds I used to sleep in and pictures of them with people I used to hug and people who used to love me or maybe still do but I wouldnt know. Keeping in touch is too painful, and not keeping in touch is even more painful. I have never met girls like that before in my life; not even referring to shit that theyve been through; just referring to how alive they were. The most fun I've had in my life does not involve drinking at a party or smoking on a roof--it was in Vermont--sober dance parties in the common area, or Saturday night movies in the rec. room w/ artificial soda. Yes we had bedtimes and wake up times and breakfast times and lunch times and snack times and dinner times and study halls but I was happy. I was trapped but I was happy. I was trapped but I was a real person. So in a way, I wasnt even really trapped, just blocked off from a world that I didnt mind being blocked off from.
Sometimes I dont know if I'll ever see most of these girls again, and even if I do, it wont be the same. It's been too long and too different and we've all been changed by the world again probably. All I have is my memory. Thank god I have a good one.