Long time...
Oh, It's been one of those kind of monthes. Where the winds whip and toss your hair into knots that you just can comb out by running you hands through your hair. It seems nice and fun at first then the beating of the wind just isn't cool anymore ya know. Life is like that sometimes. I think I need to hide out for a while and pick the up pieces to my life. My life has been so crazy. I dropped Psychology, (twenty hours kinda was killing me so ya know), we finished rush. I have been through ups and downs with guys like no other before. John stood me up last Friday, then Saturday didn't hear from him, Sunday I got a message on my cell telling me that he has been running games on me and seeing some one else. It's so sad though. My good friend Val seems to be in more disbelief than I. I am just kinda dumbstruck. It's like it's a prerequisit to dating me that you have to mess around on me. I am really tired of it. It really pisses me off though b/c he gave me this whole "I hate when people play games, I hate all of that drama and heart ache, It's all so stupid." Then WHY did you go an do it yourself. Did you think that I was. Did you think that I haven't been trying so hard not to let myself believe that guys are always going to treat me like that. What makes them think that I don't care, what makes you think that it isn't going to hurt me. WHY can't one of you tell me to my face that you want to hurt me, stop abandoning me. Bryann you hurt me this summer, you left and you never came back. Jon you lied to me earlier instead of admitting you just wanted to score. John, what the hell is your deal? Joseph, can't you see that I have had a crush on you since I was a freshman? Can't you just tell me that you don't want me, stop stringing my along. Can't anyone my age be in a realationship and NOT have sex. Just because I am a virgin and not putting out you have to disqualify me! I am worth more than what you all choose not to pay for. I need love, like my parents, like my friends, like my brother and sister in law. Isn't there anyone out there who can see that if you make me yours I will always stay true. Treat me right and I will be an honest truthful good woman. I am, doesn't anyone want that anymore?