SPN: Mistakes We Make 10
Summary: All-human AU. From the ages of 10 - 15, Dean and Castiel were inseparable. Then Dean's dad died, and rather than lose his brother to CPS, Dean took him and ran. Years later, Castiel's big brother Gabriel finds Dean working as a prostitute, and decides to try and help him - but does Dean want to be saved?
A/N: Cas is back making some truly awful decisions, and Gabriel's caught up in them now. What's a big brother to do? We also find out how Cas got started in his stoner ways. Please note, I've never been on any drugs stronger than painkillers, so Cas' experience probably doesn't match any common street drug. We'll just say that it's an uncommon one. It was kinda disturbing to write, too.
Warnings: Underage drinking, drug use, sleepy frottage (Non-con? Dub-con? Enjoyed but not aware enough to consent or object), semi-prostitution (Cas/OC blowjob for drugs), drugged-out experience.
-MWM-
Castiel sighed and stretched out on the couch. He was bored out of his skull, confined to Gabriel's apartment with nothing more to do than read or watch TV. Maybe he used to be able to get by with just books, but now he was used to having people around constantly, and not having to think for long periods of time.
He'd been in Los Angeles for nearly a month now, and thanks to Gabriel's constant hovering he'd kept clean. He was itching for a hit of something - anything - but it was impossible to make the right connections with Gabriel always around. And for some reason, Castiel didn't want to disappoint his big brother. It was strange, he hadn't felt like this in over a year, but he wanted to please Gabriel. He'd given up trying to please Lucian years ago, knowing that it was a lost cause, but Gabriel…
Growling, Cas punched the cushion under his head and tried to get comfortable again. It wasn't just the lack of drugs that was getting to him, it was the lack of physical affection. Gabriel would allow hugs, and sitting close together on the couch. Sometimes he'd even allow Cas to kiss his cheek. Anything more than that, however, and Cas would find himself pushed away with no physical contact for at least a couple of hours. It was quite a shock, going from freely sharing his body with anyone in the group he'd hung around with to having only limited contact with his brother, and Castiel knew that he didn't like it. He didn't think he'd ever masturbated as much as he had since arriving here
The worst part, he thought, was that Gabriel seemed oblivious to his suffering. He seemed to think that since Cas was now off the drugs and had gone through the worst of the withdrawal, he'd be fine and back to how he used to be. Cas couldn't believe that Gabriel was that naïve, surely he knew that Castiel had changed from what he used to know. Hell, Gabriel knew that Cas had slept around - one of the first things he'd done upon getting back to Los Angeles was to drag Castiel to the nearest clinic to get him tested for every STD known to man. He was actually clean - condoms weren't that hard to get hold of - which had surprised Gabriel. Cas had commented that all of the alcohol in his system must've killed off any virus. Gabriel hadn't been impressed by that.
He had something to look forward to tonight though - Gabriel seemed to think it was safe to take him out of the apartment for a bit, and they were going to a party that his ex-girlfriend Kali was throwing. Gabriel had told him that Kali only invited them to make her current boyfriend jealous, but that he was fine with this. Apparently her boyfriend was too spineless to really do it for her and needed some encouragement to man up. At least, that was the impression Castiel got from Gabriel's stories about them.
Cas heard Gabriel coming through the front door and made his decision. One way or another he was getting laid tonight - since apparently Gabriel wasn't going to do it for him, he'd find someone at the party. And with any luck, he'd find something else to try at the party too. After all, he had nothing else to keep himself occupied while Gabriel was off at classes or at work, so why not make a few contacts?
"Hey Cas," Gabriel greeted him, unaware of Castiel's rapidly darkening thoughts. "Just let me take a shower and we'll be off."
"Fine," Castiel muttered, glaring at the ceiling and listening as Gabriel wandered off to the bathroom.
It was a fairly small apartment, hence why Gabriel was able to afford it on student loans and a casual job. There was one bedroom and a tiny bathroom, with the living area and kitchen flowing together. Currently Castiel slept on the couch, or in Gabriel's bed during the day. It wasn't ideal, but there wasn't much they could do with their limited income. Castiel had suggested a few ways to increase their cash flow, all of which had been shot down by Gabriel for being either immoral, illegal or both.
-MWM-
Kali's house wasn't far, so they walked there, enjoying the unseasonably warm evening. Once at the party, which was already in full swing, Gabriel detached himself from Cas and went to find the hostess. He felt fairly safe in leaving Cas to socialise by himself, after all Kali's parties never got too out of hand. Surely his little brother wouldn't get into trouble here.
Cas glared at the back of Gabriel's head briefly, then made his way to the edge of the room. He didn't like being around crowds of people he didn't know, it made him highly uncomfortable. Eventually he managed to snag a beer and put his back to the wall, watching for anyone who looked like they might be interesting.
After a few minutes, his eyes zeroed in on a girl wearing not much. Her movements were just a little out of coordination, she was a little too thin, and she was drinking like she had a limitless tolerance. He nodded to himself, recognising the symptoms from his own experience. He could be mistaken, of course - but he doubted it.
Draining the rest of his beer, Cas felt relief wash through him. Things were finally looking up - he had alcohol, he'd probably get something else to further alter his state of mind, and with a little luck he'd get sex. He ditched the now empty bottle and moved over to the girl, who'd caught his eye and was now smiling at him.
"So," he lowered his voice a few notches, knowing the effect it had on people. "You a friend of MJ?"
"Naturally," she blinked slowly at him, and he gently wound his arms around her waist.
"You gonna share?" He whispered directly into her ear, feeling her shiver against him.
"This way," she grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the others, out into the back garden. Once they had a little privacy, she pulled a small bag from the waistband of her skirt and took out a small pink pill. "Trust me babe, these are better than anything else." With that she put it on her tongue and gave Cas a 'come-hither' look.
Cas smirked at her before leaning down and sealing his mouth over hers. It didn't take much effort to steal the pill and swallow it himself, and he allowed his hands to roam over the skin in front of him.
Fairly quickly he felt his brain begin to fizz, and groaned in happiness as he recognised the effects. He'd be pleasantly out of his mind for a few hours at least, depending on how pure it was.
"Where can I get more?" He quickly asked, knowing that soon he'd be beyond understanding words.
"A guy in the park down the street. Wears a sleeveless coat and wide-brimmed hat. He'll get you whatever you want, and he'll take plenty of things as payment." With that she kissed him again, and Cas gladly went along with it. He decided then that he liked Kali, even if he'd never met her - she'd provided food for all of his vices in the one place.
-MWM-
The next morning, Castiel woke back on the couch at home with no idea how he'd gotten there. Well, there was some clue - Gabriel was the only other one with a key, and since Cas wouldn't have been able to find his way home under the effects of last night's drug, it had to have been big brother who brought him back. He slowly pushed himself into a sitting position before noticing that he was naked. That was new, since Gabriel had insisted that pants were mandatory fairly early on in his stay.
He took a moment to take stock of his condition. Hangover present, so he'd obviously had more to drink than he remembered. A few bite and scratch marks, though nothing too deep, so probably sex and not a fight. He didn't feel stretched or sore, so it was a female, or he topped a guy. That was about the extent of what he could work out though, until he noticed some writing on his forearm. It was a phone number with the name Katie next to it. So that was probably who he'd had sex with.
Looking at the other arm, there was a brief description of someone, and he smiled. She'd written down the dealer he needed to look for, and even added a comment - 'he likes cute boys!'
At that moment, the door to Gabriel's room opened, and a girl he didn't recognise came out. She was doing up the buttons on her top as she walked, otherwise fully clothed, but paused when she saw Castiel watching her.
"Oh, uh, hi. You're Gabriel's brother, right?" Cas nodded, eyes narrowing. So it was okay for Gabriel to sleep around, but not him? That didn't sit right. "Um, I'll just… I'll just leave."
"Don't let me stop you," Castiel ground out. The girl nodded and left, blushing furiously. Cas watched her all the way out the front door, then stood up. Time to go have a chat with Gabriel. When he reached the bedroom, however, he found he couldn't stay mad. Gabriel just looked too sweet and innocent when he slept. It was a cover, of course, since Cas was pretty sure that Gabriel had never been innocent in his life, and was only sweet when he wanted something, but it was still difficult to hold a grudge.
Instead, he crept over and climbed into the bed as well. He settled down close to Gabriel, and smiled when the older man instinctively cuddled into his warmth. This was more like it. He could feel Gabriel's morning erection pressing into his thigh and moved subtly, feeling himself getting aroused as well. Running his hands along the skin now available to him, Cas shifted and pressed his mouth to Gabriel's.
His nose wrinkled a little at the taste - stale breath and last night's beer didn't make a great combination, but it was the most he'd gotten from Gabriel in weeks. It wasn't long before Gabriel was kissing back, clearly dreaming of something good as his hips moved to rut against Castiel. The younger brother couldn't hold back a groan of arousal as he felt Gabriel start to wake up and respond to him.
He knew the minute Gabriel woke up properly, since he froze completely, the hand on Castiel's ass suddenly turning to stone.'
"Cas?" Gabriel sounded unsure if this was reality or an extension of his dream.
Castiel opened his eyes - when had they fallen closed? He wasn't sure - and was met with Gabriel's amber stare. He whimpered in frustration and threw a leg over Gabriel's, bringing them closer.
"Gabriel, please!"
That was too much though, and Gabriel seemed to fly out of the bed.
"Castiel, stop this!" Gabriel shouted, looking as angry as possible whilst still sporting a hard-on. "I said no, stop pursuing this!" With that he stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door, audibly locking the door.
Cas fell back onto the sheets and just lay there, fighting to keep back tears. He'd done it again, screwed up his relationship with a big brother because he couldn't control his impulses. Now Gabriel was sure to leave him, throw him out onto the streets or even send him back to Lucian. He couldn't deal with this.
He crawled out of bed and slunk back to the living room, dressing quickly. He'd lost his own arousal at Gabriel's final rejection, and now just wanted to curl up and cry. Then he saw the writing on his arm again, and froze in his actions.
If Gabriel was going to throw him out anyway, what would be the harm? He could hardly make things worse now. So instead of waiting for Gabriel to come and throw him out, Cas gathered his things and slipped out of the house, heading for the park near Kali's house. He really didn't want to be in his right mind at the moment.
-MWM-
It took nearly half an hour to find the park, but once he did he immediately felt better. Nature always had calmed him down, and not just smoking it - it was why he'd gone to Hangman's Tree back home to begin with, before he'd discovered the joys of being stoned out of his skull. He'd sit up in the tree for hours, not even noticed by the group below him, until one day he'd managed to get fairly stoned from the second-hand smoke filtering up into the branches, and had fallen out.
Thankfully he'd been relaxed enough that he only suffered a few bruises, not any real damage, and the others had laughed about it before teaching him how to smoke his own joint - which had been the start of his loving relationship with MJ, the leafy plant that made everything so much easier to deal with. It had been a few weeks later, after having smoked quite a lot, that one of the guys supplying him had demanded payment.
He hadn't had any money to give, and was so out of his mind that when alternative payment was mentioned, he immediately grabbed they guy's belt and went to work, sucking him off in front of the whole group. That had started what became a tradition - he'd let them do anything to him as long as they gave him some sort of mind-altering substance, going so far as agreeing to be the guinea-pig for new drugs once he'd been around a few months. It had all gone downhill rather quickly, and he'd been passed around the group about as often as the joints were.
Every now and then his rational mind would surface long enough to object to something, but it was usually drowned out fairly quickly with alcohol, which made him incredibly affectionate and ready for anything.
Looking around this park, he didn't immediately spot the dealer he was looking for. So he walked around for a while, noticing that there weren't that many people here. Eventually he found a fairly secluded corner, mostly screened off from view by some large bushes. Standing behind them, leaning against a tree trunk, was a man who matched the description Katie had given him, and Cas sighed in relief.
He walked up to the man, smiling slightly. The man caught his eye, a slow smirk spreading across his face.
"Katie sent you?" He asked without preamble, and Castiel nodded. "Excellent. She really is a good little hunter, wouldn't you agree?"
"I've been looking for a hit for weeks," Cas admitted, already breathless with anticipation. "Please, I need…"
"I know," the man said soothingly, reaching out a hand to stroke Castiel's face. "I know, sweet one. Now, how do you want to pay for your hit? Cash, or mouth?"
Castiel was on his knees almost before he could finish the sentence. He made quick work of the belt in front of him, ignoring the chuckle above him. Undoing the button and zipper, he opened the pants enough to reach the currently soft cock, made easier by a lack of underwear. Leaning forward, he gently breathed over the head, not touching him any more than was necessary to keep the man in place. As the man's dick started to harden, Castiel ran his tongue along the underside, coaxing it along, before finally latching onto the tip with his mouth.
Slowly but steadily, he inched forwards, relaxing his throat with practiced ease until he'd swallowed the whole thing. He could hear the man grunting and trying to retain control and smirked inwardly - his mouth being otherwise occupied - before starting to hum.
At that, the man grabbed hold of his hair and started thrusting his hips, fucking Castiel's face. It didn't take long before he pulled back enough to shoot his load in Cas' mouth, letting out a long, low growl as he came.
As Castiel was cleaning him up, the man stroked Cas' hair gently, smoothing it back into place. Finally Castiel tucked him back into his pants and re-fastened his pants and belt. The man smiled down at him, leaning against the tree again.
"Damn that was good, kid. You certainly deserved this." With that, he pulled a pill out of his pocket and held it up. Cas' eyes lit up, and he opened his mouth. The man smirked and placed the pill on the waiting tongue, then handed him a small bag with four more. "When you need another hit, come find me."
"You bastard!"
Castiel didn't really notice as the man was hauled away from him and a fight seemed to break out. He just lay down underneath the bush and stared at the dirt in front of him. His brain was fizzing along, making connections and associations he'd never considered before.
Hands were tugging at him, pulling him upright. He went along with it - why not? - and reached back for the other person. He had no idea who they were, he probably did normally, but now he didn't even know his own name, and they were just warm flesh and he wanted. He managed to wrap himself around the other person, nuzzling into their neck. He tried to kiss them, but there were words then he couldn't decipher, not that it really mattered much, and a hand pushing him down, keeping him away from their mouth.
They were walking then, the two of them, and everything was pretty. So green. And brown. There were smaller people running around, bright blurs of colour and sound, and he could feel himself laughing. He stumbled a bit, but hands were keeping him upright, keeping him safe, and again he tried to get closer but was again denied. He was getting sick of that.
They were walking, walking, sometimes it was green underneath and sometimes it was grey, there was black a few times and he wanted to investigate it further but the hands wouldn't let him go down. Then they were inside, no more sunlight, and he whimpered a little even as the arms were back and holding him tight. They were in a small space, a box, and the box was moving, and he didn't like it, he started struggling to get away but the arms just held him tight. There was a noise in his ear, and it's soothing, familiar, like he used to know what the noise meant, and soon they're out of the box but they're still not outside, and he just wants to feel the sun again.
He's pulled along somewhere, and there are more noises, and he's stumbling as he bumps into things, but the hands never let him fall. They're comforting and rubbing against his back, and he wants them lower, wants more, and there's something in his mouth now. He tries to suck on it, but it's smaller than it should be, and harder, and it tastes funny - there's strange stuff in his mouth, he doesn't want it there anymore, he tries to fight it off but the soothing noise is back. He can feel heat behind him, holding him, even as the thing moves back and forth in his mouth. Then it's removed and he leans forward and spits the horrible stuff out of his mouth, he's tilted back and there's something else being poured in, he's drowning, but then he's tilted forwards and can spit it all out.
He's crying now, can feel his cheeks getting wet, and he's scared, and doesn't know what he wants. The warmth is holding him, turns him so he can bury his head in it, sobbing and struggling to breathe. Then there's something else pressed against his mouth, it's another mouth, he's being kissed and he kisses back, he knows this, he knows what to do now.
The warmth pulls away, and he whimpers as he tries to follow. It reaches back to him, wraps around him from the side and pulls him again, they're walking somewhere else, and he's scared again, doesn't like all this moving, he just wants to lie down and be held, wants the warmth to never leave him.
He's pushed down to sit on something soft, and he can feel as the warmth is still close, but it's tugging at his feet until something comes off, he can feel that he's not encased any more, and tries to help, doesn't want to be restricted, wants to feel the warmth more directly. The soothing noise hasn't let up, and he's fairly sure that he recognises it from somewhere, but it's too much, he doesn't want to think, and he just wants to be safe.
They're laying down now, and he can feel the warmth curled around him as something else is pulled over them, there's skin against his skin, and he wants, he wants, but the warmth is just holding him, keeping him still. He tries to speak, tries to tell it what he wants, but he can't, can't understand what's coming out, and it frightens him again. The mouth is back, and it calms him a little, he tries to rub against the warmth but is stopped, the mouth pulls back and the soothing noise starts again, then it stops and the mouth is back, and he knows that he can't have the noise and the mouth at the same time but he wants them both.
Darkness is coming, and he doesn't want to surrender, doesn't want to leave the warmth, it's safe here, and someone cares about him, and he's not alone any more, but slowly he loses control and slips away into the darkness.
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