SPN: Insanity Means Angel-puppies 3/4
Part Three: Mature
Castiel lay on Jimmy's bed with the boy and let out a brief whine. Jimmy had been upset and withdrawn all Saturday afternoon, and didn't seem inclined to get up on Sunday morning. Crawling forward on his stomach, Castiel went for his usual way of cheering up his boy - a few licks to the face.
“I'm sorry boy,” Jimmy sounded about as upset as he looked. “I just... I don't know. Why am I so upset about this? He's just a boy. One I don't even know all that well. And it's not like he really said anything that bad. So... why do I feel like my best friend betrayed me?”
Castiel snuffled a little before nuzzling his boy. He wasn't sure what the problem was either, and decided that as soon as Jimmy fell asleep he'd slip into the boy's dream scape. That was likely to be far more revealing.
In the meantime, he settled down to wait as Jimmy rhythmically ran his fingers through the thick fur around Castiel's neck, trying to give as much non-verbal comfort as he could to the distressed teen. It didn't seem to be doing much good though.
~*~
Annabelle was worried. She knew that her son didn't trust her as much as he once had - with fairly good reason - but she was certain that something was wrong. When Jimmy didn't leave for church as he had every Sunday for the past two years, she brushed off her husband's doubtful look and instead cooked some breakfast, heavy on the meat, and took it to her son's room.
“Jimmy? I brought you breakfast sweetheart.”
As soon as she saw Jimmy's miserable look and Castiel's protective position, she knew she'd made the right decision. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Annabelle put the plate down on the bedside table and carded her fingers through her son's hair.
“What's wrong baby? How can I fix it?”
For a moment Annabelle thought that it might be too late for her to reconnect with her son as he stared back at her, Castiel glancing between them. Then Jimmy launched himself into his mother's arms and burst into tears. Taken aback, all Annabelle could do was wrap her arms around him and hold him close.
“Oh baby, don't fret. I've got you. I promise.” She soon stopped using words and just hummed an old lullaby that she used to sing when Jimmy was just a young boy in need of comfort. She lost track of how long they sat together before Jimmy's sobs quieted. Even when he finished crying, Annabelle kept holding him.
“I don't know what to do Mama,” Jimmy whispered into Annabelle's shoulder. “I messed up real bad, and I don't know how to fix it.”
“Tell me sweetheart,” Annabelle did her best to reassure him. “I'll do whatever I can to help.”
“I...” Jimmy suddenly tensed. She could practically feel him warring with whether or not to tell her the details. “There's... this boy... from school.”
Putting together what he wasn't saying, Annabelle blinked in surprise. She'd considered the possibility that her son might be gay, but never really believed it. Whatever her personal feelings though, she knew that her son needed her support. So she started gently rubbing his back and kissed the top of his head.
“Okay. There's a boy at school that you like. Keep going.”
“...He wanted my help in art class. With wood carving. He wanted me to teach him how to do it.” Annabelle nodded. It was a talent she'd noticed and done her best to encourage by buying whatever tools Jimmy mentioned. “We went to buy some things yesterday. And... it was going well. I thought that maybe... but we had an argument. He made some comment about Cas, and I blew up at him, and I don't know what to do or why I'm so angry at him. I don't know why I got so mad yesterday or why I feel like this now.”
Annabelle held her son tight for a moment, and her heart felt as though it was breaking. It was as she'd feared.
“I'm so sorry baby,” she spoke into his hair. “This is my fault... I never should have let the doctors overrule what my heart told me.”
“What was that?” Jimmy pulled back a little to look at her. Annabelle smiled softly.
“That there was never anything really wrong with you. I shouldn't have let them take you away. If I'd come for you sooner... I've been talking to a psychiatrist too. He said that it wasn't healthy for you to be locked away so young, and you might have trouble like this.”
Jimmy shifted close again so that they were sitting next to each other with his head on his mother's shoulder. Annabelle kept her arm around his shoulders as she continued to explain.
“You should have been able to trust your father and I to stand up for you, but we didn't. You spent so long isolated that you've had trouble learning to trust others again, and I'm sure that the students at your school haven't helped in that regard. Castiel, however, has always been there for you. He's been a loyal and steady friend, so you lashed out when his loyalty was threatened.”
“I guess so,” Jimmy whispered. Annabelle pressed another kiss to his temple, and was relieved when he leaned into the touch. Her psychiatrist had warned her that she might never be able to repair their damaged relationship.
“As for why you're upset,” she suggested, “I think it's probably partly because you know that you overreacted and you're beating yourself up over it. I do the same thing a lot of the time. Another part is probably because you haven't had any real friends in a long time, so you're not used to having these sorts of disagreements. You don't know how this boy could forgive you.” Jimmy nodded slowly, and Annabelle smiled down at him. “Sweetheart, friends often have fights over tiny things, and couples do it all the time. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or delusional. As long as later on you talk it over calmly, everything will be fine.”
She paused for a moment, wondering whether she should continue. A glance at her son, still leaning into her for comfort, decided her. They needed to discuss this now.
“Baby, a large part of it could be... are you afraid of how your father and I will react to you liking another boy?”
“...Yeah,” Jimmy's voice was quiet, almost inaudible, and Annabelle felt another flash of guilt. She could easily recall times in the past when her husband had made derogatory comments about gay people. While she'd never joined in, she'd also never told him to stop - and what sort of message had that sent her vulnerable son, already insecure about himself?
“Jimmy, I love you,” she spoke firmly, determined to try and fix her mistakes. “You're my son. I've failed you before, but I won't let this affect my feelings for you. I won't lie, it will take some getting used to, but I'll try as long as you give me a chance. I just... I just want you to be happy.”
“And Dad?”
“Well...” Annabelle wanted to say that he'd be fine with it, wanted to say that he'd always love his son. Unfortunately, they both knew he'd never really forgiven Jimmy for being mentally disturbed, and had been the biggest supporter of putting his son in an asylum. If he hadn't thought it was a good idea to lock Jimmy up, the teen would have stayed at home on medication for a while before maybe attempting regular therapy.
“I'll talk to him,” she said instead. “I'll tell him that you're interested in boys, and I'll make sure he knows that I support you. If he has a problem with it, he'll have to learn to hold his tongue. I won't tolerate him running you down.”
“Okay,” Jimmy nuzzled into her side for a moment, most of the tension gone from his frame. It eased Annabelle's concern a great deal that he was able to accept her help.
“So, think you can talk to the boy you like now?”
“Maybe. As long as he quits saying Cas is possessed.”
Annabelle tried to stifle a smile, but knew she wasn't very successful.
“You have to admit,” she said, “he is a very intelligent dog. But I don't think he's evil or anything. He clearly adores you. Probably thinks you're his dad.”
“Maybe,” Jimmy nodded. “Does that mean you're a grandma?”
“Careful buddy, don't start with any age jokes,” she wagged a finger at him. “Now, how about I reheat your breakfast and then you go visit... what was his name again?”
“Dean. Dean Winchester.”
“Okay, you go visit him once you've eaten.” With one last squeeze she stood and turned, the frowned a little. “Now where did that dog get to?”
Jimmy spun around so fast that she was almost afraid he'd injure himself.
“Castiel?” He called out, eyes wide, and Annabelle hurried to reassure him.
“He probably just had to go outside for a bit. After all, he has been in here with you since yesterday. Come on, let's go have a look.” She grabbed the now lukewarm plate and headed out to the kitchen. From the window she could see most of the back yard, but there was no white pile of fur.
“Cas!” Jimmy shouted as he opened the door. “Come here boy!”
But there was nothing.
~*~
Once Jimmy started confiding in his mother, Castiel quietly slipped down from the bed and out of the door. It wasn't too hard to escape from the house and trot along the streets to where they'd met up with Dean the previous day. He wasn't entirely sure how he was going to help fix things between the boys, but he figured that if all else failed he could knock Winchester down and drag him back to Jimmy by his ankle.
Finding the boy's house was a fairly simple matter. Castiel briefly considered his options for getting Dean's attention, then saw his car. Jimmy had mentioned that above all else Dean loved his brother and his car in that order, so he jumped up on the hood, sat facing the house, and started barking. In fairly short order the front door flew open to reveal Dean, pointing a gun at the intruder.
Having gained Dean's attention, Castiel stopped barking and tilted his head to one side, curious at the mixed expressions on the boy's face. After a moment, resignation seemed to take prominent position as Dean tucked the gun into the back of his jeans and approached the car.
“What do you want?” Dean asked, sounding about as miserable as Jimmy was. “I'll do what your master says, I'm not gonna bug him or anything.”
Castiel let out a huff of breath and jumped down again, darting forwards to take the hem of Dean's shirt in his teeth before the boy could flinch back. Gently, he started to tug at the shirt, attempting to show the boy that he wanted him to follow.
“You wanna take me somewhere?” Dean asked, and Castiel's tail wagged a little. Kid was smarter than he looked. “I can't boy, I gotta watch my kid brother.”
Reluctantly, Castiel let go of the shirt. Instead he let out a whine that usually got him what he wanted from Jimmy, and glanced over his shoulder, back towards home.
“Are you...” Dean looked perplexed. “Are you trying to take me to Jimmy?”
Castiel barked and wagged his tail. The boy looked more than a little disturbed that he was responding so easily.
“Christo,” he muttered under his breath. Castiel blinked and tilted his head to one side. Why would he say Christ's name at a time like this? Then Dean pulled a shiny flask from his pocket and poured the contents over his hand, holding it out for Castiel to investigate.
Even though he was highly confused, Castiel could smell that it was merely water. He leaned forward to lap at the liquid, then pushed closer and nosed at the flask, trying to get at the water within it. It was holy water, stored in a silver flask. Without a doubt, Dean was a hunter - which explained a lot of his unease around an unusually intelligent dog. He must have known about too many evil creatures that could have taken a canine form in order to use or corrupt an insecure teenager.
“Huh,” Dean sounded only a little more at ease as Castiel eagerly lapped at the pure water. “So, not a demon or a shapeshifter. What are you then? 'Cause there's no way you're a normal dog.”
Looking up, Castiel briefly let his gaze drift further, and was surprised by what he found. Dean's soul was bright and pure, radiant in a way so few were. There was a faint tinge of colour to show that he was marked as Michael's true vessel, and Castiel felt a lot more at ease about letting the boy near Jimmy.
Dean chose that moment to tentatively run his hand over Castiel's head in a smooth stroke. He ended with his fingers just behind Castiel's ears and started scratching. Without his permission, Castiel felt his eyes close and his tail start thumping against the ground. It was the perfect place for ear-scratches, and Dean had found it first try.
Maybe this Winchester wasn't such a bad kid after all.
~*~
“Cas!” Jimmy shouted. He could have recognised the giant white mop that was his beloved dog anywhere. It didn't register exactly where he was until he'd fallen to his knees and wrapped his arms around Castiel, and heard Dean's laugh.
“I see who the important one is.”
Jimmy looked up guiltily, dreading what he'd see, but instead of being angry Dean looked indulgently amused. Castiel slipped from his grasp, moving to sit next to him as Jimmy searched for the right words.
“Dean, I... I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I overreacted.”
“It's fine,” Dean waved him off, though he had a pleased look that said the apology meant something to him. “You're okay now?”
“Yeah. I just - woah!” He was thrown off-balance as Castiel pushed him forward hard, and Jimmy ended up half on Dean's lap, blushing furiously. “Cas, what do you think you're doing?” He tried to move back, only to find that one of Dean's arms was wrapped firmly around his waist. “...Dean?”
“I think he's trying to give us both a hint,” Dean explained, grinning widely. “Now, I'm going to kiss you. If you don't want that, you'd better speak up pretty quick.”
All Jimmy could manage was a brief nod and a pleading look, then Dean was kissing him, a soft, barely-there slide of lips that made Jimmy want more even as his eyes slid closed. He felt both of Dean's arms wrap around his waist, holding him gently without pressuring him, and Jimmy decided that he liked this a lot. Shifting a little, Jimmy ended up sitting fully in Dean's lap, one hand on Dean's thigh to steady himself while the other trailed up Dean's arm to rest on his shoulder. With a soft hum Dean pressed a little harder into the kiss, and Jimmy let his tongue slip out to meet Dean's as it licked along their lips.
Jimmy had forgotten all about the fact that they were sitting on Dean's front lawn, until he heard a childish voice shout out from the house.
“Dean! Quit being gross!”
Flushing with embarrassment once again, Jimmy pulled back and looked away, but Dean's arms were tight around his waist as he chuckled.
“Shut up Sammy,” Dean shouted back before he lowered his head and kissed Jimmy's neck. “Kid's still at the 'kissing is gross' stage. Nothing to do with you.”
“How are you real?” Jimmy whispered. “You're just... perfect... you seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better.”
“It's a gift,” Dean grinned cockily, then pressed another brief, gentle kiss to Jimmy's lips. “C'mon, let's go inside. I'll introduce you to Sammy.”
Given how often Dean talked about his brother, Jimmy knew that getting to meet the boy was a big deal for Dean. So he went along gladly, and even agreed to attend a Christmas party the next weekend with Dean, as his boyfriend. By the time he walked back home, Castiel ambling along by his side as always, Jimmy felt as though he was floating.
~*~
On Monday morning, Jimmy braced himself for the worst in home room. He figured that Dean wouldn't want people knowing that he was gay, since it was a pretty big deal. Jimmy didn't really care, since it was just one more thing to mark him as a freak - and given that the other kids were all too scared to actually touch him due to being insane, he wasn't worried about any physical bullying.
However, as soon as Dean sat down next to him, the other boy draped an arm around his shoulder in a fairly obvious possessive manner. Jimmy turned and raised his eyebrow, while Dean just shrugged.
“This is okay, right?” Dean suddenly looked a little unsure of himself. “I got nothing to hide, but if you don't want to come out...”
“It's fine,” Jimmy smiled and leaned in to kiss Dean's cheek. He could already hear the whispers starting, but that was an everyday occurrence for him, so it was easy to ignore. “Wasn't sure you'd be comfortable with public affection.”
“You're worth it.”
“That's sweet. And remarkably cheesy.”
“Pretty much sums me up.”
Jimmy started laughing and leaned into Dean, happy at school for possibly the first time in years. He knew that people were looking at them, talking about them - there were no other openly gay couples in the school, so it was something of a novelty - but he didn't pay any attention to it. As long as Dean was willing to show that he cared in public, Jimmy wouldn't discourage him.
~*~
In history class, Jimmy was taking notes as usual when the girl next to him slid a note across the gap between them.
'Are u really dating Dean Winchester?'
Jimmy glanced across at the girl - Amelia, he thought her name was - then nodded at her. She quickly scribbled another note.
'Thats hot. Thought u were christian tho?'
Looking forward, the teacher was getting into a lively discussion with a couple of students in the front row, so he wrote back to her.
'I am. Love is love. Plenty of instances of homosexuality in the bible, just the church doesn't want to admit it. Anyway, not like we're getting married. Just dating.'
'Still hot.' There was a smiley face next to this, and Jimmy couldn't help but smile back. 'So ur gay?'
'Don't know. Dean's the first person who's been interested in me.'
'Then ur blind. Plenty of girls think ur hot. Just scared to talk to u cos u never talk to anyone.'
'No one talks to me. Not since I was in the nut house.'
The teacher chose that moment to address the rest of the class, and both Jimmy and Amelia returned their focus to the lesson, but the notes stayed in Jimmy's mind. Maybe he had been premature in shutting himself off from the rest of the student body. Sure his own friends had abandoned him, but maybe... maybe there were other friends he could have made. He'd have to start trying to socialise a little more, and maybe find out if Amelia was better at talking than spelling.
~*~
At lunch, Dean dragged Jimmy over to sit with him and the few friends he'd made last week in the cafeteria. They all looked more than a little uncomfortable about having the couple there, but when Jimmy batted Dean's hands away and refused to make out in front of everyone, the others relaxed. Which was probably Dean's plan, Jimmy reflected as he calmly ate his lunch, watching Dean get into an animated discussion about baseball.
“So the freak's a queer now.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes as Dean tensed up and turned to glare behind them. He recognised Todd's voice, one of his old friends who'd never spoken to him after the diagnosis, and didn't feel the need to look at him.
“Who are you talking about?” Dean spoke in a low voice that really did things for Jimmy. “If you're talking about my boyfriend, we're gonna have to have a little discussion.”
“Don't bother,” Jimmy shrugged even as he noticed the rest of the table shooting them uneasy glances. “Todd's just jealous that he doesn't get to suck my cock.”
There was a pause, then most of the table burst out laughing as Todd started spluttering denials. Dean shot a final glare at the boy, then wrapped an arm around Jimmy's shoulder again and slid his other hand up Jimmy's thigh.
“Well, shall we really make him jealous then?”
“Dean, keep your hormones under control,” Jimmy tried to look stern, but failed as Todd and his friends rapidly vacated the area. The tension at the table was gone completely, and everyone turned back to their food and previous conversations - though Dean kept his arm around Jimmy, a clear sign to anyone who wanted to mess with them. As the meal and conversations progressed, Jimmy realised that the group seemed to accept him, and again he wondered at how easily he'd closed himself off before. He was grateful to Dean for helping to reintroduce him to his school mates as just another teenager.
~*~
The rest of the week passed in much the same way. Gradually Jimmy started to reconnect with his fellow students, and found that more people were tolerant of him than he'd thought. Dean's circle of friends easily accepted him after that first lunch, and Amelia was in a few of his classes. She was happy to chat to him and by extension introduce him to her friends. While Jimmy knew that he would never be incredibly popular, he was starting to gather a network of acquaintances, which was perfectly acceptable to him.
He was a little worried though - his angelic visitor hadn't come to his dreams ever since he'd first kissed Dean. While his dreams had been extremely pleasant, and often X-rated, he missed the companionship of his angel.
On Friday night, as he lay in bed, Jimmy ran a hand through Castiel's fur and sighed. He'd spent so much time with Dean that week, that he wondered if maybe his pet felt neglected. After all, Castiel was his oldest true friend.
“Cas?” Jimmy spoke up, and blue eyes opened sleepily to watch him. “I still like you best. Dean's a great boyfriend, but you're my best friend. Always will be.”
Castiel watched him for a moment, then shifted a little and licked Jimmy's face, making the boy smile. He knew that he was forgiven, and closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, his angel was sitting on the edge of his bed, and he knew that he was dreaming. It didn't stop him from smiling at his visitor.
“Hey. Thought you were ignoring me or something.”
“Never,” his angel smiled back at him. “But your dreams this past week have been peaceful, filled with love. I didn't want to intrude.”
“I wasn't sure if maybe,” Jimmy hesitated, but decided to continue. He'd always been able to talk to his angel in a way that he couldn't speak to another sentient being. “Well, people keep saying that being gay's a sin... I wasn't sure if maybe you thought it was too.”
“Why would I think that?” The angel tilted its head, appearing confused. “We have discussed it before. I believe I made my opinion on the matter clear.”
“Yeah, you did,” Jimmy nodded. “So you just wanted to let me have some good dreams?”
“Yes. You have too few of them. I am pleased that Dean is treating you well and making you happy.”
“You know his name then?” Jimmy thought he saw a brief flash of... something cross the angel's face, but he couldn't place it. The angel's expression was too often unreadable for him to identify anything out of the ordinary.
“In your dreams you have called his name several times. I do not like to intrude on your dreams, but I have witnessed a few of the events within them.”
“Oh. Right.” Though he felt a little embarrassed, he couldn't shake the feeling that the angel wasn't telling him the whole truth. After a moment, he decided to let it go. After all, so far the angel had always given him good advice. It was allowed to withhold something if it wanted to. “Well, he's helped me to talk to other kids as well... I know he's not gonna stay around forever, he's said right from the start that they probably won't stay for more than a month or two, but at least when he's gone I'll still have the people he's helped me talk to. I might even have friends.”
“I hope so,” the angel seemed pleased. “You should not be so lonely.”
“I'll always have you and Cas though, won't I?” Jimmy asked. A wave of comfort flowed over him, and he knew the answer before the angel vocalised it.
“Of course you will. Now, it is time for you to sleep. Tomorrow you will be a normal teenager, attending a party with your peers. I am pleased for you.”
“Thanks,” Jimmy smiled as he lay back down, closing his eyes as he felt himself fall back into sleep.
~*~
They'd agreed to meet at the party, and Jimmy was nervous. He ran his hand over Castiel's head again as they walked up to the front door. Although he realised it wasn't normal behaviour, he couldn't stand the thought of attending without Cas. Halfway to the door it opened, and he could hear the noise coming from inside. Jimmy's steps faltered, but then he recognised Amelia and one of her friends as they quickly propped open the door and started hanging decorations around it.
“Hey,” he spoke softly as he drew closer, and Amelia looked up and smiled at him. Then she caught sight of Castiel, and her eyes widened.
“Oh my... he's gorgeous! Is that your dog? Can I pat him?”
“Sure,” Jimmy smiled down at Castiel, who patiently stood still as Amelia stroked his head.
“He's so soft! I can't believe you brought a dog to the party, is he gonna be okay with the noise and the crowd?” She'd gone from adoring to concerned so quickly that Jimmy struggled to keep up, but he tried to look reassuring.
“Yeah, he... well, he comes to church with me, so he should be fine. I just... I can't handle loud groups well, so... I'll be fine if he's here.”
“Okay then,” Amelia gave Cas one last pat, then returned to hanging the decorations. “Just as long as he doesn't have an accident in the house, my parents would kill me. Then you. Then turn him into a dog-skin rug.”
“He'll be fine,” Jimmy smiled, recognising her humour. “C'mon Cas, let's go inside.”
“By the way, your boy-toy's in the kitchen,” Amelia called out as Jimmy and Castiel entered the house, and Jimmy flushed a little. She was proving to be a good friend, but Amelia was much more outgoing than he was.
Jimmy stopped in the doorway to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of Dean pulling party pies out of the oven. He was much more domestic than he gave himself credit for, and Jimmy enjoyed watching Dean take care of other people. Then Dean looked up and saw him, and his eyes glinted with mischief.
“Dean, what are you up to?” Jimmy was immediately wary.
“Look up,” Dean instructed him as he moved closer, wrapping his arms around Jimmy's waist. Jimmy glanced above his head and saw that there was a sprig of fake mistletoe, and rolled his eyes.
“Really Dean? You want to kiss under the mistletoe?”
“Not particularly,” he leaned in and kissed Jimmy gently for a moment. “I always wanna kiss you babe. Mistletoe's just an excuse to lay my claim in public.” He leaned in again, and this time the kiss was much more intense and possessive. Jimmy gladly opened up and let Dean take control, heart feeling like it would burst with joy. He felt Castiel move from his side, probably to steal some food, but he didn't worry. Tonight was going to be perfect.
~*~
(myfriendfredric)
The party raged inside as Dean and Jimmy sat on the front lawn, occasionally kissing but mostly sitting pressed together watching the stars. Castiel had spent the night alternating between sticking close to them, and wandering around the party getting fed by everyone. Jimmy was happy and nuzzled into Dean's shoulder to show it.
“Hey Jimmy,” Dean sounded a little uncomfortable, and Jimmy pulled back to look at him. “This is gonna suck, but... my dad's coming back in a couple of days. Said we'll be moving out by the end of the week.”
Feeling his heart plummet, Jimmy looked down at the ground. He'd always known that this would only be short-lived, he just hadn't counted on how short it could be.
“I don't wanna leave,” Dean tried to reassure him. “Neither does Sammy. We both like it here, and I like being with you. I'd rather stay by your side until you get sick of me and force me to leave, but... I can't go against what Dad says. I'm sorry.”
Jimmy nodded and leaned into Dean, kissing him desperately. Dean kissed back with just as much fervour, clearly not wanting to let go. Before he knew it, Jimmy was on his back with Dean above him, the pair pressed as close as they could get. If not for the fact that they were outside a party, Jimmy was fairly sure that they might be getting naked and going further than he was prepared to go just yet. Even so, he wished that they could have something, anything to tie them together.
“What if I never see you again?” He whispered, and Dean let out a choked sound above him.
“I don't know,” Dean admitted. “We almost never go back to somewhere after we leave... I want to tell you I'll come back every chance I get, but... I won't be able to travel by myself until Sammy's older.”
“I'll miss you.”
“I'll miss you too. I'll try to come back, I promise.” He kissed Jimmy again, then reluctantly pulled back. “Baby, just promise me... be happy. Don't make yourself wait for me, 'cause I don't know when I'll be back.”
“Shut up,” Jimmy instructed him. He was in no mood for that sort of talk, and instead wrapped his arms around Dean's neck to force him as close as physically possible. After tonight he didn't know when he'd get to feel this sort of happiness, and he wanted to treasure it for as long as he could.
<
| Masterpost | Part Four: Elderly>>
Castiel lay on Jimmy's bed with the boy and let out a brief whine. Jimmy had been upset and withdrawn all Saturday afternoon, and didn't seem inclined to get up on Sunday morning. Crawling forward on his stomach, Castiel went for his usual way of cheering up his boy - a few licks to the face.
“I'm sorry boy,” Jimmy sounded about as upset as he looked. “I just... I don't know. Why am I so upset about this? He's just a boy. One I don't even know all that well. And it's not like he really said anything that bad. So... why do I feel like my best friend betrayed me?”
Castiel snuffled a little before nuzzling his boy. He wasn't sure what the problem was either, and decided that as soon as Jimmy fell asleep he'd slip into the boy's dream scape. That was likely to be far more revealing.
In the meantime, he settled down to wait as Jimmy rhythmically ran his fingers through the thick fur around Castiel's neck, trying to give as much non-verbal comfort as he could to the distressed teen. It didn't seem to be doing much good though.
~*~
Annabelle was worried. She knew that her son didn't trust her as much as he once had - with fairly good reason - but she was certain that something was wrong. When Jimmy didn't leave for church as he had every Sunday for the past two years, she brushed off her husband's doubtful look and instead cooked some breakfast, heavy on the meat, and took it to her son's room.
“Jimmy? I brought you breakfast sweetheart.”
As soon as she saw Jimmy's miserable look and Castiel's protective position, she knew she'd made the right decision. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Annabelle put the plate down on the bedside table and carded her fingers through her son's hair.
“What's wrong baby? How can I fix it?”
For a moment Annabelle thought that it might be too late for her to reconnect with her son as he stared back at her, Castiel glancing between them. Then Jimmy launched himself into his mother's arms and burst into tears. Taken aback, all Annabelle could do was wrap her arms around him and hold him close.
“Oh baby, don't fret. I've got you. I promise.” She soon stopped using words and just hummed an old lullaby that she used to sing when Jimmy was just a young boy in need of comfort. She lost track of how long they sat together before Jimmy's sobs quieted. Even when he finished crying, Annabelle kept holding him.
“I don't know what to do Mama,” Jimmy whispered into Annabelle's shoulder. “I messed up real bad, and I don't know how to fix it.”
“Tell me sweetheart,” Annabelle did her best to reassure him. “I'll do whatever I can to help.”
“I...” Jimmy suddenly tensed. She could practically feel him warring with whether or not to tell her the details. “There's... this boy... from school.”
Putting together what he wasn't saying, Annabelle blinked in surprise. She'd considered the possibility that her son might be gay, but never really believed it. Whatever her personal feelings though, she knew that her son needed her support. So she started gently rubbing his back and kissed the top of his head.
“Okay. There's a boy at school that you like. Keep going.”
“...He wanted my help in art class. With wood carving. He wanted me to teach him how to do it.” Annabelle nodded. It was a talent she'd noticed and done her best to encourage by buying whatever tools Jimmy mentioned. “We went to buy some things yesterday. And... it was going well. I thought that maybe... but we had an argument. He made some comment about Cas, and I blew up at him, and I don't know what to do or why I'm so angry at him. I don't know why I got so mad yesterday or why I feel like this now.”
Annabelle held her son tight for a moment, and her heart felt as though it was breaking. It was as she'd feared.
“I'm so sorry baby,” she spoke into his hair. “This is my fault... I never should have let the doctors overrule what my heart told me.”
“What was that?” Jimmy pulled back a little to look at her. Annabelle smiled softly.
“That there was never anything really wrong with you. I shouldn't have let them take you away. If I'd come for you sooner... I've been talking to a psychiatrist too. He said that it wasn't healthy for you to be locked away so young, and you might have trouble like this.”
Jimmy shifted close again so that they were sitting next to each other with his head on his mother's shoulder. Annabelle kept her arm around his shoulders as she continued to explain.
“You should have been able to trust your father and I to stand up for you, but we didn't. You spent so long isolated that you've had trouble learning to trust others again, and I'm sure that the students at your school haven't helped in that regard. Castiel, however, has always been there for you. He's been a loyal and steady friend, so you lashed out when his loyalty was threatened.”
“I guess so,” Jimmy whispered. Annabelle pressed another kiss to his temple, and was relieved when he leaned into the touch. Her psychiatrist had warned her that she might never be able to repair their damaged relationship.
“As for why you're upset,” she suggested, “I think it's probably partly because you know that you overreacted and you're beating yourself up over it. I do the same thing a lot of the time. Another part is probably because you haven't had any real friends in a long time, so you're not used to having these sorts of disagreements. You don't know how this boy could forgive you.” Jimmy nodded slowly, and Annabelle smiled down at him. “Sweetheart, friends often have fights over tiny things, and couples do it all the time. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or delusional. As long as later on you talk it over calmly, everything will be fine.”
She paused for a moment, wondering whether she should continue. A glance at her son, still leaning into her for comfort, decided her. They needed to discuss this now.
“Baby, a large part of it could be... are you afraid of how your father and I will react to you liking another boy?”
“...Yeah,” Jimmy's voice was quiet, almost inaudible, and Annabelle felt another flash of guilt. She could easily recall times in the past when her husband had made derogatory comments about gay people. While she'd never joined in, she'd also never told him to stop - and what sort of message had that sent her vulnerable son, already insecure about himself?
“Jimmy, I love you,” she spoke firmly, determined to try and fix her mistakes. “You're my son. I've failed you before, but I won't let this affect my feelings for you. I won't lie, it will take some getting used to, but I'll try as long as you give me a chance. I just... I just want you to be happy.”
“And Dad?”
“Well...” Annabelle wanted to say that he'd be fine with it, wanted to say that he'd always love his son. Unfortunately, they both knew he'd never really forgiven Jimmy for being mentally disturbed, and had been the biggest supporter of putting his son in an asylum. If he hadn't thought it was a good idea to lock Jimmy up, the teen would have stayed at home on medication for a while before maybe attempting regular therapy.
“I'll talk to him,” she said instead. “I'll tell him that you're interested in boys, and I'll make sure he knows that I support you. If he has a problem with it, he'll have to learn to hold his tongue. I won't tolerate him running you down.”
“Okay,” Jimmy nuzzled into her side for a moment, most of the tension gone from his frame. It eased Annabelle's concern a great deal that he was able to accept her help.
“So, think you can talk to the boy you like now?”
“Maybe. As long as he quits saying Cas is possessed.”
Annabelle tried to stifle a smile, but knew she wasn't very successful.
“You have to admit,” she said, “he is a very intelligent dog. But I don't think he's evil or anything. He clearly adores you. Probably thinks you're his dad.”
“Maybe,” Jimmy nodded. “Does that mean you're a grandma?”
“Careful buddy, don't start with any age jokes,” she wagged a finger at him. “Now, how about I reheat your breakfast and then you go visit... what was his name again?”
“Dean. Dean Winchester.”
“Okay, you go visit him once you've eaten.” With one last squeeze she stood and turned, the frowned a little. “Now where did that dog get to?”
Jimmy spun around so fast that she was almost afraid he'd injure himself.
“Castiel?” He called out, eyes wide, and Annabelle hurried to reassure him.
“He probably just had to go outside for a bit. After all, he has been in here with you since yesterday. Come on, let's go have a look.” She grabbed the now lukewarm plate and headed out to the kitchen. From the window she could see most of the back yard, but there was no white pile of fur.
“Cas!” Jimmy shouted as he opened the door. “Come here boy!”
But there was nothing.
~*~
Once Jimmy started confiding in his mother, Castiel quietly slipped down from the bed and out of the door. It wasn't too hard to escape from the house and trot along the streets to where they'd met up with Dean the previous day. He wasn't entirely sure how he was going to help fix things between the boys, but he figured that if all else failed he could knock Winchester down and drag him back to Jimmy by his ankle.
Finding the boy's house was a fairly simple matter. Castiel briefly considered his options for getting Dean's attention, then saw his car. Jimmy had mentioned that above all else Dean loved his brother and his car in that order, so he jumped up on the hood, sat facing the house, and started barking. In fairly short order the front door flew open to reveal Dean, pointing a gun at the intruder.
Having gained Dean's attention, Castiel stopped barking and tilted his head to one side, curious at the mixed expressions on the boy's face. After a moment, resignation seemed to take prominent position as Dean tucked the gun into the back of his jeans and approached the car.
“What do you want?” Dean asked, sounding about as miserable as Jimmy was. “I'll do what your master says, I'm not gonna bug him or anything.”
Castiel let out a huff of breath and jumped down again, darting forwards to take the hem of Dean's shirt in his teeth before the boy could flinch back. Gently, he started to tug at the shirt, attempting to show the boy that he wanted him to follow.
“You wanna take me somewhere?” Dean asked, and Castiel's tail wagged a little. Kid was smarter than he looked. “I can't boy, I gotta watch my kid brother.”
Reluctantly, Castiel let go of the shirt. Instead he let out a whine that usually got him what he wanted from Jimmy, and glanced over his shoulder, back towards home.
“Are you...” Dean looked perplexed. “Are you trying to take me to Jimmy?”
Castiel barked and wagged his tail. The boy looked more than a little disturbed that he was responding so easily.
“Christo,” he muttered under his breath. Castiel blinked and tilted his head to one side. Why would he say Christ's name at a time like this? Then Dean pulled a shiny flask from his pocket and poured the contents over his hand, holding it out for Castiel to investigate.
Even though he was highly confused, Castiel could smell that it was merely water. He leaned forward to lap at the liquid, then pushed closer and nosed at the flask, trying to get at the water within it. It was holy water, stored in a silver flask. Without a doubt, Dean was a hunter - which explained a lot of his unease around an unusually intelligent dog. He must have known about too many evil creatures that could have taken a canine form in order to use or corrupt an insecure teenager.
“Huh,” Dean sounded only a little more at ease as Castiel eagerly lapped at the pure water. “So, not a demon or a shapeshifter. What are you then? 'Cause there's no way you're a normal dog.”
Looking up, Castiel briefly let his gaze drift further, and was surprised by what he found. Dean's soul was bright and pure, radiant in a way so few were. There was a faint tinge of colour to show that he was marked as Michael's true vessel, and Castiel felt a lot more at ease about letting the boy near Jimmy.
Dean chose that moment to tentatively run his hand over Castiel's head in a smooth stroke. He ended with his fingers just behind Castiel's ears and started scratching. Without his permission, Castiel felt his eyes close and his tail start thumping against the ground. It was the perfect place for ear-scratches, and Dean had found it first try.
Maybe this Winchester wasn't such a bad kid after all.
~*~
“Cas!” Jimmy shouted. He could have recognised the giant white mop that was his beloved dog anywhere. It didn't register exactly where he was until he'd fallen to his knees and wrapped his arms around Castiel, and heard Dean's laugh.
“I see who the important one is.”
Jimmy looked up guiltily, dreading what he'd see, but instead of being angry Dean looked indulgently amused. Castiel slipped from his grasp, moving to sit next to him as Jimmy searched for the right words.
“Dean, I... I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I overreacted.”
“It's fine,” Dean waved him off, though he had a pleased look that said the apology meant something to him. “You're okay now?”
“Yeah. I just - woah!” He was thrown off-balance as Castiel pushed him forward hard, and Jimmy ended up half on Dean's lap, blushing furiously. “Cas, what do you think you're doing?” He tried to move back, only to find that one of Dean's arms was wrapped firmly around his waist. “...Dean?”
“I think he's trying to give us both a hint,” Dean explained, grinning widely. “Now, I'm going to kiss you. If you don't want that, you'd better speak up pretty quick.”
All Jimmy could manage was a brief nod and a pleading look, then Dean was kissing him, a soft, barely-there slide of lips that made Jimmy want more even as his eyes slid closed. He felt both of Dean's arms wrap around his waist, holding him gently without pressuring him, and Jimmy decided that he liked this a lot. Shifting a little, Jimmy ended up sitting fully in Dean's lap, one hand on Dean's thigh to steady himself while the other trailed up Dean's arm to rest on his shoulder. With a soft hum Dean pressed a little harder into the kiss, and Jimmy let his tongue slip out to meet Dean's as it licked along their lips.
Jimmy had forgotten all about the fact that they were sitting on Dean's front lawn, until he heard a childish voice shout out from the house.
“Dean! Quit being gross!”
Flushing with embarrassment once again, Jimmy pulled back and looked away, but Dean's arms were tight around his waist as he chuckled.
“Shut up Sammy,” Dean shouted back before he lowered his head and kissed Jimmy's neck. “Kid's still at the 'kissing is gross' stage. Nothing to do with you.”
“How are you real?” Jimmy whispered. “You're just... perfect... you seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better.”
“It's a gift,” Dean grinned cockily, then pressed another brief, gentle kiss to Jimmy's lips. “C'mon, let's go inside. I'll introduce you to Sammy.”
Given how often Dean talked about his brother, Jimmy knew that getting to meet the boy was a big deal for Dean. So he went along gladly, and even agreed to attend a Christmas party the next weekend with Dean, as his boyfriend. By the time he walked back home, Castiel ambling along by his side as always, Jimmy felt as though he was floating.
~*~
On Monday morning, Jimmy braced himself for the worst in home room. He figured that Dean wouldn't want people knowing that he was gay, since it was a pretty big deal. Jimmy didn't really care, since it was just one more thing to mark him as a freak - and given that the other kids were all too scared to actually touch him due to being insane, he wasn't worried about any physical bullying.
However, as soon as Dean sat down next to him, the other boy draped an arm around his shoulder in a fairly obvious possessive manner. Jimmy turned and raised his eyebrow, while Dean just shrugged.
“This is okay, right?” Dean suddenly looked a little unsure of himself. “I got nothing to hide, but if you don't want to come out...”
“It's fine,” Jimmy smiled and leaned in to kiss Dean's cheek. He could already hear the whispers starting, but that was an everyday occurrence for him, so it was easy to ignore. “Wasn't sure you'd be comfortable with public affection.”
“You're worth it.”
“That's sweet. And remarkably cheesy.”
“Pretty much sums me up.”
Jimmy started laughing and leaned into Dean, happy at school for possibly the first time in years. He knew that people were looking at them, talking about them - there were no other openly gay couples in the school, so it was something of a novelty - but he didn't pay any attention to it. As long as Dean was willing to show that he cared in public, Jimmy wouldn't discourage him.
~*~
In history class, Jimmy was taking notes as usual when the girl next to him slid a note across the gap between them.
'Are u really dating Dean Winchester?'
Jimmy glanced across at the girl - Amelia, he thought her name was - then nodded at her. She quickly scribbled another note.
'Thats hot. Thought u were christian tho?'
Looking forward, the teacher was getting into a lively discussion with a couple of students in the front row, so he wrote back to her.
'I am. Love is love. Plenty of instances of homosexuality in the bible, just the church doesn't want to admit it. Anyway, not like we're getting married. Just dating.'
'Still hot.' There was a smiley face next to this, and Jimmy couldn't help but smile back. 'So ur gay?'
'Don't know. Dean's the first person who's been interested in me.'
'Then ur blind. Plenty of girls think ur hot. Just scared to talk to u cos u never talk to anyone.'
'No one talks to me. Not since I was in the nut house.'
The teacher chose that moment to address the rest of the class, and both Jimmy and Amelia returned their focus to the lesson, but the notes stayed in Jimmy's mind. Maybe he had been premature in shutting himself off from the rest of the student body. Sure his own friends had abandoned him, but maybe... maybe there were other friends he could have made. He'd have to start trying to socialise a little more, and maybe find out if Amelia was better at talking than spelling.
~*~
At lunch, Dean dragged Jimmy over to sit with him and the few friends he'd made last week in the cafeteria. They all looked more than a little uncomfortable about having the couple there, but when Jimmy batted Dean's hands away and refused to make out in front of everyone, the others relaxed. Which was probably Dean's plan, Jimmy reflected as he calmly ate his lunch, watching Dean get into an animated discussion about baseball.
“So the freak's a queer now.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes as Dean tensed up and turned to glare behind them. He recognised Todd's voice, one of his old friends who'd never spoken to him after the diagnosis, and didn't feel the need to look at him.
“Who are you talking about?” Dean spoke in a low voice that really did things for Jimmy. “If you're talking about my boyfriend, we're gonna have to have a little discussion.”
“Don't bother,” Jimmy shrugged even as he noticed the rest of the table shooting them uneasy glances. “Todd's just jealous that he doesn't get to suck my cock.”
There was a pause, then most of the table burst out laughing as Todd started spluttering denials. Dean shot a final glare at the boy, then wrapped an arm around Jimmy's shoulder again and slid his other hand up Jimmy's thigh.
“Well, shall we really make him jealous then?”
“Dean, keep your hormones under control,” Jimmy tried to look stern, but failed as Todd and his friends rapidly vacated the area. The tension at the table was gone completely, and everyone turned back to their food and previous conversations - though Dean kept his arm around Jimmy, a clear sign to anyone who wanted to mess with them. As the meal and conversations progressed, Jimmy realised that the group seemed to accept him, and again he wondered at how easily he'd closed himself off before. He was grateful to Dean for helping to reintroduce him to his school mates as just another teenager.
~*~
The rest of the week passed in much the same way. Gradually Jimmy started to reconnect with his fellow students, and found that more people were tolerant of him than he'd thought. Dean's circle of friends easily accepted him after that first lunch, and Amelia was in a few of his classes. She was happy to chat to him and by extension introduce him to her friends. While Jimmy knew that he would never be incredibly popular, he was starting to gather a network of acquaintances, which was perfectly acceptable to him.
He was a little worried though - his angelic visitor hadn't come to his dreams ever since he'd first kissed Dean. While his dreams had been extremely pleasant, and often X-rated, he missed the companionship of his angel.
On Friday night, as he lay in bed, Jimmy ran a hand through Castiel's fur and sighed. He'd spent so much time with Dean that week, that he wondered if maybe his pet felt neglected. After all, Castiel was his oldest true friend.
“Cas?” Jimmy spoke up, and blue eyes opened sleepily to watch him. “I still like you best. Dean's a great boyfriend, but you're my best friend. Always will be.”
Castiel watched him for a moment, then shifted a little and licked Jimmy's face, making the boy smile. He knew that he was forgiven, and closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, his angel was sitting on the edge of his bed, and he knew that he was dreaming. It didn't stop him from smiling at his visitor.
“Hey. Thought you were ignoring me or something.”
“Never,” his angel smiled back at him. “But your dreams this past week have been peaceful, filled with love. I didn't want to intrude.”
“I wasn't sure if maybe,” Jimmy hesitated, but decided to continue. He'd always been able to talk to his angel in a way that he couldn't speak to another sentient being. “Well, people keep saying that being gay's a sin... I wasn't sure if maybe you thought it was too.”
“Why would I think that?” The angel tilted its head, appearing confused. “We have discussed it before. I believe I made my opinion on the matter clear.”
“Yeah, you did,” Jimmy nodded. “So you just wanted to let me have some good dreams?”
“Yes. You have too few of them. I am pleased that Dean is treating you well and making you happy.”
“You know his name then?” Jimmy thought he saw a brief flash of... something cross the angel's face, but he couldn't place it. The angel's expression was too often unreadable for him to identify anything out of the ordinary.
“In your dreams you have called his name several times. I do not like to intrude on your dreams, but I have witnessed a few of the events within them.”
“Oh. Right.” Though he felt a little embarrassed, he couldn't shake the feeling that the angel wasn't telling him the whole truth. After a moment, he decided to let it go. After all, so far the angel had always given him good advice. It was allowed to withhold something if it wanted to. “Well, he's helped me to talk to other kids as well... I know he's not gonna stay around forever, he's said right from the start that they probably won't stay for more than a month or two, but at least when he's gone I'll still have the people he's helped me talk to. I might even have friends.”
“I hope so,” the angel seemed pleased. “You should not be so lonely.”
“I'll always have you and Cas though, won't I?” Jimmy asked. A wave of comfort flowed over him, and he knew the answer before the angel vocalised it.
“Of course you will. Now, it is time for you to sleep. Tomorrow you will be a normal teenager, attending a party with your peers. I am pleased for you.”
“Thanks,” Jimmy smiled as he lay back down, closing his eyes as he felt himself fall back into sleep.
~*~
They'd agreed to meet at the party, and Jimmy was nervous. He ran his hand over Castiel's head again as they walked up to the front door. Although he realised it wasn't normal behaviour, he couldn't stand the thought of attending without Cas. Halfway to the door it opened, and he could hear the noise coming from inside. Jimmy's steps faltered, but then he recognised Amelia and one of her friends as they quickly propped open the door and started hanging decorations around it.
“Hey,” he spoke softly as he drew closer, and Amelia looked up and smiled at him. Then she caught sight of Castiel, and her eyes widened.
“Oh my... he's gorgeous! Is that your dog? Can I pat him?”
“Sure,” Jimmy smiled down at Castiel, who patiently stood still as Amelia stroked his head.
“He's so soft! I can't believe you brought a dog to the party, is he gonna be okay with the noise and the crowd?” She'd gone from adoring to concerned so quickly that Jimmy struggled to keep up, but he tried to look reassuring.
“Yeah, he... well, he comes to church with me, so he should be fine. I just... I can't handle loud groups well, so... I'll be fine if he's here.”
“Okay then,” Amelia gave Cas one last pat, then returned to hanging the decorations. “Just as long as he doesn't have an accident in the house, my parents would kill me. Then you. Then turn him into a dog-skin rug.”
“He'll be fine,” Jimmy smiled, recognising her humour. “C'mon Cas, let's go inside.”
“By the way, your boy-toy's in the kitchen,” Amelia called out as Jimmy and Castiel entered the house, and Jimmy flushed a little. She was proving to be a good friend, but Amelia was much more outgoing than he was.
Jimmy stopped in the doorway to the kitchen and smiled at the sight of Dean pulling party pies out of the oven. He was much more domestic than he gave himself credit for, and Jimmy enjoyed watching Dean take care of other people. Then Dean looked up and saw him, and his eyes glinted with mischief.
“Dean, what are you up to?” Jimmy was immediately wary.
“Look up,” Dean instructed him as he moved closer, wrapping his arms around Jimmy's waist. Jimmy glanced above his head and saw that there was a sprig of fake mistletoe, and rolled his eyes.
“Really Dean? You want to kiss under the mistletoe?”
“Not particularly,” he leaned in and kissed Jimmy gently for a moment. “I always wanna kiss you babe. Mistletoe's just an excuse to lay my claim in public.” He leaned in again, and this time the kiss was much more intense and possessive. Jimmy gladly opened up and let Dean take control, heart feeling like it would burst with joy. He felt Castiel move from his side, probably to steal some food, but he didn't worry. Tonight was going to be perfect.
~*~
(myfriendfredric)
The party raged inside as Dean and Jimmy sat on the front lawn, occasionally kissing but mostly sitting pressed together watching the stars. Castiel had spent the night alternating between sticking close to them, and wandering around the party getting fed by everyone. Jimmy was happy and nuzzled into Dean's shoulder to show it.
“Hey Jimmy,” Dean sounded a little uncomfortable, and Jimmy pulled back to look at him. “This is gonna suck, but... my dad's coming back in a couple of days. Said we'll be moving out by the end of the week.”
Feeling his heart plummet, Jimmy looked down at the ground. He'd always known that this would only be short-lived, he just hadn't counted on how short it could be.
“I don't wanna leave,” Dean tried to reassure him. “Neither does Sammy. We both like it here, and I like being with you. I'd rather stay by your side until you get sick of me and force me to leave, but... I can't go against what Dad says. I'm sorry.”
Jimmy nodded and leaned into Dean, kissing him desperately. Dean kissed back with just as much fervour, clearly not wanting to let go. Before he knew it, Jimmy was on his back with Dean above him, the pair pressed as close as they could get. If not for the fact that they were outside a party, Jimmy was fairly sure that they might be getting naked and going further than he was prepared to go just yet. Even so, he wished that they could have something, anything to tie them together.
“What if I never see you again?” He whispered, and Dean let out a choked sound above him.
“I don't know,” Dean admitted. “We almost never go back to somewhere after we leave... I want to tell you I'll come back every chance I get, but... I won't be able to travel by myself until Sammy's older.”
“I'll miss you.”
“I'll miss you too. I'll try to come back, I promise.” He kissed Jimmy again, then reluctantly pulled back. “Baby, just promise me... be happy. Don't make yourself wait for me, 'cause I don't know when I'll be back.”
“Shut up,” Jimmy instructed him. He was in no mood for that sort of talk, and instead wrapped his arms around Dean's neck to force him as close as physically possible. After tonight he didn't know when he'd get to feel this sort of happiness, and he wanted to treasure it for as long as he could.
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