(no subject)
Clint Dossier here again folks, and let me tell you, this past week or so has been truly, truly, sir, truly astounding. Down here in Charleston, being Charlestonian and all, well, things are usually very fine, and very stable.
Except, of course, sir. Except when northerners decide to come down and invade.
I was walking along the beach again sir, and I swear to you, I saw a troupe of mandrills feeding on the carcass of what looked like a doberman pinscher. Yes sir, large fierce baboons sir. Often called a troupe, but sometimes called a congress. Uh huh. Yes, they had long front fangs, and horribly uncultured faces. Yes, they were all painted and such. Uh huh, they were all ensconsed in a sand castle replica of Fort Sumter.
Sir, it gets much worse. Yes sir.
I saw, and I swear, it was the same man. I saw the man who spent the day fishing and saying MINK-YAH, and who shot those young boys by the channel. I swear I saw him walking up the beach carrying a carpet bag. Yes sir. I dunno, I suppose he might have had ammunition or Yankee money in there or something. I really don't know sir.
An ethno botanist. Yessir. Uh huh. Well, I'm not currently teaching anywhere. No sir. Well, my family is quite wealthy.
Yes.
Well some time ago, the Dossier family had a rice plantation.
Yes.
Well we had nearly 200 acres. Yessir.
Slaves?
Well sir. Uh. Hmm. You see sir.
Oh look at that! There's a skinny blond man with a bowl cut riding a shark!
Oh my he's coming up on the beach and he's got. It looks like a sugar cane machete!
He went back in the water. Whew. Sir, that was close.
You didn't see him? Well sir, he was right over there.
Right there.
Listen, I need to run. Yessir. I need to get over to Market Street for a ballet show. It's been great talking to you.
Sir.
No. Please. Put the gun down.
I'll give you money. Jewelry.
Sir.
Please.
Sir?
No!
Except, of course, sir. Except when northerners decide to come down and invade.
I was walking along the beach again sir, and I swear to you, I saw a troupe of mandrills feeding on the carcass of what looked like a doberman pinscher. Yes sir, large fierce baboons sir. Often called a troupe, but sometimes called a congress. Uh huh. Yes, they had long front fangs, and horribly uncultured faces. Yes, they were all painted and such. Uh huh, they were all ensconsed in a sand castle replica of Fort Sumter.
Sir, it gets much worse. Yes sir.
I saw, and I swear, it was the same man. I saw the man who spent the day fishing and saying MINK-YAH, and who shot those young boys by the channel. I swear I saw him walking up the beach carrying a carpet bag. Yes sir. I dunno, I suppose he might have had ammunition or Yankee money in there or something. I really don't know sir.
An ethno botanist. Yessir. Uh huh. Well, I'm not currently teaching anywhere. No sir. Well, my family is quite wealthy.
Yes.
Well some time ago, the Dossier family had a rice plantation.
Yes.
Well we had nearly 200 acres. Yessir.
Slaves?
Well sir. Uh. Hmm. You see sir.
Oh look at that! There's a skinny blond man with a bowl cut riding a shark!
Oh my he's coming up on the beach and he's got. It looks like a sugar cane machete!
He went back in the water. Whew. Sir, that was close.
You didn't see him? Well sir, he was right over there.
Right there.
Listen, I need to run. Yessir. I need to get over to Market Street for a ballet show. It's been great talking to you.
Sir.
No. Please. Put the gun down.
I'll give you money. Jewelry.
Sir.
Please.
Sir?
No!