13 days until everything changes.
i think ramen is one of my comfort foods. i'm eating it right now...to try to calm down.
i feel like i'm starting to get cold feet for college...with 13 days left.
every day that gets closer, it feels more and more of a reality...and i wonder, can i handle this shit?
i realize that people have to grow up...and i'm probably being a baby because my college is only 45 minutes away from my house. but i dont see it like that. i've lived in this house for 18 years. my biggest move was from bowie [5 minutes away] to crofton when i was 1, and too young to even remember our old town house. i've gone to the same schools, and have known the same people all of my life.
but now everyone's leaving...well some people are staying...but that's not the point.
people are going to move on...get better lives, get new friends. they say that your college friends are usually your friends for life, and you get closer to them more than your high school friends. i like my friends just fine now though. **shrug**
i was talking to byron on the phone one night [he called and my dad told me to answer the phone], and the things he said made me kind of upset. he was like "after you leave for college, your house isn't going to be your home anymore...you'll be a visitor from now on." saying that is probably one of the biggest things you can say to me that sets in the reality of that. it set in even more when my parents told me that when i left, they might paint and rearrange my room. that made me dumbfounded. its my room, and they're just going to take my stuff and move it around to their liking.
i started going dorm shopping with my mom the other day. it's kind of an overwhelming and daunting experience...i didnt even know where to start. i feel like the majority of the stuff that these stores are selling are useless. and crap. we walked around both target and walmart...walmarts selection was disappointing...even though it IS walmart, and we didn't have very high expectations to begin with. we ended up buying some towels and detergent. that's how far i've gotten with my dorm shopping. freaking towels and laundry detergent. no i lie...we also bought a box of tampons. lol.
we decided to get sheets and a comforter and stuff from the catalog that towson sent us...they had a much wider variety of twin xl sheets than the places that we went to, and i actually liked some of the stuff, so that's out of the way as well.
i dont even know what else i have to buy...a lamp, for sure. things i need for the bathroom, make sure i have shampoo and soap and toothpaste stuff like that. i feel like i'm being a minimalist...either that, or i'm just not thinking enough. oh well...i'll probaly remember when i get on campus...which is good. lol. because the first night that we move in, a bus will come and take students that want to go, out to target to finish shopping and to get things they might've forgotten. i think thats cool, only towson students roaming target after closing time.
the countdown continues. anticipation and fear have played their parts...and i'm sure they will both continue to play their parts. i have a lot to do in the time that i have left. i started cleaning a month or so ago...haven't gotten far at all. i'll probably end up going through my closets and just throwing massive amounts of shit away. because truthfully, i have so much shit i don't use. my family is filled with packrats. my parents are weird and go through all the trash that i throw away, and keep the stuff that they "could, maybe use", or "could, maybe donate to goodwill"...in the meanwhile, we have piles upon piles of clothes, toys, etc etc in our basement, with years of neglectment. i'll take things into my own hands now. i WILL have my room cleaned before i go away.
i feel like i'm starting to get cold feet for college...with 13 days left.
every day that gets closer, it feels more and more of a reality...and i wonder, can i handle this shit?
i realize that people have to grow up...and i'm probably being a baby because my college is only 45 minutes away from my house. but i dont see it like that. i've lived in this house for 18 years. my biggest move was from bowie [5 minutes away] to crofton when i was 1, and too young to even remember our old town house. i've gone to the same schools, and have known the same people all of my life.
but now everyone's leaving...well some people are staying...but that's not the point.
people are going to move on...get better lives, get new friends. they say that your college friends are usually your friends for life, and you get closer to them more than your high school friends. i like my friends just fine now though. **shrug**
i was talking to byron on the phone one night [he called and my dad told me to answer the phone], and the things he said made me kind of upset. he was like "after you leave for college, your house isn't going to be your home anymore...you'll be a visitor from now on." saying that is probably one of the biggest things you can say to me that sets in the reality of that. it set in even more when my parents told me that when i left, they might paint and rearrange my room. that made me dumbfounded. its my room, and they're just going to take my stuff and move it around to their liking.
i started going dorm shopping with my mom the other day. it's kind of an overwhelming and daunting experience...i didnt even know where to start. i feel like the majority of the stuff that these stores are selling are useless. and crap. we walked around both target and walmart...walmarts selection was disappointing...even though it IS walmart, and we didn't have very high expectations to begin with. we ended up buying some towels and detergent. that's how far i've gotten with my dorm shopping. freaking towels and laundry detergent. no i lie...we also bought a box of tampons. lol.
we decided to get sheets and a comforter and stuff from the catalog that towson sent us...they had a much wider variety of twin xl sheets than the places that we went to, and i actually liked some of the stuff, so that's out of the way as well.
i dont even know what else i have to buy...a lamp, for sure. things i need for the bathroom, make sure i have shampoo and soap and toothpaste stuff like that. i feel like i'm being a minimalist...either that, or i'm just not thinking enough. oh well...i'll probaly remember when i get on campus...which is good. lol. because the first night that we move in, a bus will come and take students that want to go, out to target to finish shopping and to get things they might've forgotten. i think thats cool, only towson students roaming target after closing time.
the countdown continues. anticipation and fear have played their parts...and i'm sure they will both continue to play their parts. i have a lot to do in the time that i have left. i started cleaning a month or so ago...haven't gotten far at all. i'll probably end up going through my closets and just throwing massive amounts of shit away. because truthfully, i have so much shit i don't use. my family is filled with packrats. my parents are weird and go through all the trash that i throw away, and keep the stuff that they "could, maybe use", or "could, maybe donate to goodwill"...in the meanwhile, we have piles upon piles of clothes, toys, etc etc in our basement, with years of neglectment. i'll take things into my own hands now. i WILL have my room cleaned before i go away.