Fic: 5 People Kirk Couldn't Beat Up...
Title: ...and the 1 person he totally could.
Fandom: Star Trek: XI
Pairing: none
Rating: K+
Summary: I think the title pretty much speaks for itself. Warning: this is total crack. :) Also, it's exactly 300 words, a triple drabble...or a tribble!
Kirk learned early on that punching was the best way to solve problems, which explains his proclivity for fistfights. So when a mission goes badly, instead of heading to the gym to beat the hell out of a punching bag, he ponders who he could beat up (and get away with doing so).
::Uhura::
Jim is terrified of Uhura. She’s stronger than she looks, and her nails are sharp (he’s found this out the hard way). He’s pretty sure that she could take him in a fair fight; if he could get over his never-hit-women-only-hit-on-them policy.
::McCoy::
Bones is his best friend, having patched him up more times than he can count. What kind of payback would that be if he slugged him? Besides, McCoy’s a fast draw, and Kirk’s kind of a wimp when it comes to hyposprays.
::Spock::
Absolutely not. His throat still hurts from the Vulcan’s outburst on the bridge. Also, Spock’s lightning fast reflexes would have Kirk down and out from a neck pinch before he could land a single blow.
::Sulu::
Sulu could work, except for the fact that Kirk was there when he whipped out his katana and made a kabob of a pair of Romulans on Nero’s drill. For such a tiny man, Sulu sure packs a hell of a punch.
::Chekov::
The seventeen year old boy genius is the least likely candidate for a Kirk beat-down. The kid would just take it, looking at him with puppy dog eyes…sad, Russian puppy dog eyes.
::Scotty::
He decides on Scotty, mostly because he feels the engineer owes him for rescuing him from exile. The man is entirely too devoted to the Enterprise, which Kirk finds disconcerting (he’s not jealous, but it is his ship, dammit!). And after all, nobody wants Scotty, so who cares?
Fandom: Star Trek: XI
Pairing: none
Rating: K+
Summary: I think the title pretty much speaks for itself. Warning: this is total crack. :) Also, it's exactly 300 words, a triple drabble...or a tribble!
Kirk learned early on that punching was the best way to solve problems, which explains his proclivity for fistfights. So when a mission goes badly, instead of heading to the gym to beat the hell out of a punching bag, he ponders who he could beat up (and get away with doing so).
::Uhura::
Jim is terrified of Uhura. She’s stronger than she looks, and her nails are sharp (he’s found this out the hard way). He’s pretty sure that she could take him in a fair fight; if he could get over his never-hit-women-only-hit-on-them policy.
::McCoy::
Bones is his best friend, having patched him up more times than he can count. What kind of payback would that be if he slugged him? Besides, McCoy’s a fast draw, and Kirk’s kind of a wimp when it comes to hyposprays.
::Spock::
Absolutely not. His throat still hurts from the Vulcan’s outburst on the bridge. Also, Spock’s lightning fast reflexes would have Kirk down and out from a neck pinch before he could land a single blow.
::Sulu::
Sulu could work, except for the fact that Kirk was there when he whipped out his katana and made a kabob of a pair of Romulans on Nero’s drill. For such a tiny man, Sulu sure packs a hell of a punch.
::Chekov::
The seventeen year old boy genius is the least likely candidate for a Kirk beat-down. The kid would just take it, looking at him with puppy dog eyes…sad, Russian puppy dog eyes.
::Scotty::
He decides on Scotty, mostly because he feels the engineer owes him for rescuing him from exile. The man is entirely too devoted to the Enterprise, which Kirk finds disconcerting (he’s not jealous, but it is his ship, dammit!). And after all, nobody wants Scotty, so who cares?