(no subject)
Occasionally, without rhyme or reason, a screaming begins in my head. I know not the source of this screaming but it feels familiar and unrecognisable at the same time. Along with it comes the image of a face i do not know with his mouth wide open as if in the act of screaming. The source of the screaming does not come from this gaping mouth but it seems oddly appropriate that the two go together. The saying 'a deafening silence' rings true here; i sense the presence and hear the sound of the screaming but at the same time i do not.
When these episodes occur, i want nothing more than to bury my head in the ground or be surrounded by a crowd; everything to drown out the screaming and remove that peculiar face from my head. Most times i feel that the only escape is death. I begin looking at cars driving by or tall buildings. I do not fear death but rather the notion of dying. To be forever removed, leave my loved ones to fend for themselves and a life unfulfilled. The inevitable consequence of the only escape would be to become the very thing i'm running from: a deafening silence.
When these episodes occur, i want nothing more than to bury my head in the ground or be surrounded by a crowd; everything to drown out the screaming and remove that peculiar face from my head. Most times i feel that the only escape is death. I begin looking at cars driving by or tall buildings. I do not fear death but rather the notion of dying. To be forever removed, leave my loved ones to fend for themselves and a life unfulfilled. The inevitable consequence of the only escape would be to become the very thing i'm running from: a deafening silence.