Moving/Birthday/Family/Friends Chaos!
Wow. Can you say "mad crazy life"? Well, I can. It's been several levels of hectic. One of the things I've been working on with my therapist is separating my emotions from those of the people around me. It's so not at all easy. A number of my friends are having a rough time right now. Add in the fact that I am, too, and you have quite an emotional jumble. I'm also trying to move, and, unfortunately, my friends' chaos makes planning difficult as far as who can and will help. Oh, yeah, and my birthday is coming up so planning is also crazy.
I was seriously over-scheduled last month. It made for badness. I like being accountable to things I say I'm going to do but sometimes it just doesn't work out the way I'd hoped. I've gotten a lot better about accepting that some things just don't go perfectly and that's no reason not to do them, but I still have a nigh impossible time with disappointing people. There was a family reunion / aunt's birthday thingy last weekend that I was supposed to go to but there was just no way I'd be emotionally stable enough to handle the chaos that is my father's family. I really wanted to see them, but I had to bow out.
But now that I have a plan and have cut back my scheduling on everything things are smooth. I'll be moving the day after my birthday. I'm taking my birthday off and getting my hair done, alone, and then going out with a friend. The next day my parents and a few friends will be helping me move to Marysville. Lara and Dawn will catch us on the other side and Lara's offered a BBQ "Yay I'm moved / Birthday Party" for us all. Awesome.
So - I'm back to feeling loved, cherished and pseudo in control of my life. I managed to get 6 boxes packed last night. All of my books. The rest of my apartment now looks like that crazy tail end of packing a real house where nothing is a regular shape and how the heck will it all fit in a box? I don't know - but it'll work. How did I accumulate so much crap in a 300 square foot apartment? And so many knickknacks! It doesn't help that I have a fair amount of things from my grandmother that are very fragile and very important to me. One other good thing - a friend of mine just moved and has a daybed she doesn't have room for so I have a bed now! Yes, my studio is furnished, which means that I won't have any furniture when I move. Part of the reason I'm moving in with friends.
So - it all seems to be back in an even keel now. The bilges have been pumped and I'm flying straight. My calendar is clear enough to avoid me being freaked by it. Work goes well. Friends want to reconnect but most of them will just have to wait.
I was seriously over-scheduled last month. It made for badness. I like being accountable to things I say I'm going to do but sometimes it just doesn't work out the way I'd hoped. I've gotten a lot better about accepting that some things just don't go perfectly and that's no reason not to do them, but I still have a nigh impossible time with disappointing people. There was a family reunion / aunt's birthday thingy last weekend that I was supposed to go to but there was just no way I'd be emotionally stable enough to handle the chaos that is my father's family. I really wanted to see them, but I had to bow out.
But now that I have a plan and have cut back my scheduling on everything things are smooth. I'll be moving the day after my birthday. I'm taking my birthday off and getting my hair done, alone, and then going out with a friend. The next day my parents and a few friends will be helping me move to Marysville. Lara and Dawn will catch us on the other side and Lara's offered a BBQ "Yay I'm moved / Birthday Party" for us all. Awesome.
So - I'm back to feeling loved, cherished and pseudo in control of my life. I managed to get 6 boxes packed last night. All of my books. The rest of my apartment now looks like that crazy tail end of packing a real house where nothing is a regular shape and how the heck will it all fit in a box? I don't know - but it'll work. How did I accumulate so much crap in a 300 square foot apartment? And so many knickknacks! It doesn't help that I have a fair amount of things from my grandmother that are very fragile and very important to me. One other good thing - a friend of mine just moved and has a daybed she doesn't have room for so I have a bed now! Yes, my studio is furnished, which means that I won't have any furniture when I move. Part of the reason I'm moving in with friends.
So - it all seems to be back in an even keel now. The bilges have been pumped and I'm flying straight. My calendar is clear enough to avoid me being freaked by it. Work goes well. Friends want to reconnect but most of them will just have to wait.