(no subject)
i thought.. this was over.. i thought it wouldnt happen again.. i set myself up for failure, disappointment.. i feel like my world is turned upside down. . i knew it.. i just knew it.. i knew it would happen.. as much as i bury it.. it just resurfaces.. over and over and over.. i remind myself that its not me.. im not the one with the problem.. but im the one that gets hurt in the end.. im the one with the pain.. im the one that has to deal with it.. where did i go wrong in my life..did i make the right choices? how do i let myself get hurt this bad.. year after year.. when will it end.. should i have to take this to my grave.. i hope my grave is ready soon.. i dont know how much more i can take.. how can i move on pretending to be happy when im not.. how can i be strong for someone when im not strong for myself... how could i let someone take the best of me.. and take me down.. for all these years.. is it getting better? will it get any better? how many more years of this should i have to endure.. should i wait around to find out?... should i just let it pass me by.. and be miserable the rest of my life.. and hide and bury as much as i can.. i dont know what to do anymore... i dont