Graduation
Identity is often predicated on occupation. Like it or not, what you do always says something about your character, personality and lifestyle.
Soon, I am dropping this undergrad identity that I've held on for the past three years.
This time it is different from NS because I knew I was going to NUS right after I ORD. Right now I know nowhere I am going.
I can say that I am not quite ready to leave this environment, even though it can be a purgatory sometimes. And it is not because I am lazy, I don't want to work. I feel a little bit displaced knowing that the change in identity is somewhat rreversible. It doesn't help when the future is hazy and unsettling.
Exclusion makes me feel uneasy. I borrowed two library books today, and at the back of my mind, I know I wouldn't even be able to step into this library.
I guess it will be uneasy to walk around campus and feel that the place is "yours." And gradually, exclusion from people due to irrelevancy.
I am a little annoyed with myself for feeling as such actually. I could have a truly exciting time now drawing plans for the future. I could be really excited about blue sky holiday in June.
Fuck graduation! I say.