I Do a Crooked Little Dance with my Funny Little Monkey...
I need a good pen name.
I used to want to be named Drinky McGrog. Then I decided I was in love with the name Felony. It sounds like a beautiful, feminine name, yet it refers to a crime. You'd have to do a sort of mental double-take when you read it. But with Felony I'd need a romantic last name, like Daniels or Michaels or Wickersham or Steel... or even worse, something like Trueheart or Chaste.
Then I'd have to be writing lusty romances, which I'm not at present. I could, and I'd totally use that name.
I like girlie names like Fern or Willow. Neither of which, however, would work for my line of writing. See, what I deliver is sarcasm, black humour, a little slapstick comedy, sexual frustration, and feline superiority. I thought maybe Scarlet, because it's just a little sexy and a little fun. But my books may all have the word "red" in the title (book one is tentatively called Red Hot Rods), and with a redheaded main character, having the author's name be Scarlet would be a bit much.
And I can't deny that there's a slight inclination to borrow the manimal's fortunate surname... making me Pamela Anderson. People would buy the book thinking I was the chesty Baywatch chickie. But do I want to make money off of people who mistake me for a Boob-list celebrity? Don't I want them to be buying it for ME??
Why do I want a pen name? I can't commit to a genre, and I'm afraid if I put my name on a book I'll be forced to write like that forever. I want to save my name until I've written my opus. The Great Canadian Novel (which, incidentally, will be called BottleCaps, and will start its climb to the top whenever I finish stringing these short stories together...).
I could always delve into my secret list of names I hold on reserve for future characters, a list I painstakingly wrote up from a book of 10,000 baby names from around the globe. Does anyone else think Hawaiian names are totally the shit? I do.
But now I have just killed a large spider who was idling on the wall next to my computer table, and am too distracted to go on. Alas, bed calls. G'night, RIP Steve Irwin. I got really misty-eyed and had to turn away when I saw the footage of you talking about how your daughter was your whole world. I know you lived your life exactly how you wished, and I hope you come back as whatever your favourite animal was, since you always showed them such respect.
:P
I used to want to be named Drinky McGrog. Then I decided I was in love with the name Felony. It sounds like a beautiful, feminine name, yet it refers to a crime. You'd have to do a sort of mental double-take when you read it. But with Felony I'd need a romantic last name, like Daniels or Michaels or Wickersham or Steel... or even worse, something like Trueheart or Chaste.
Then I'd have to be writing lusty romances, which I'm not at present. I could, and I'd totally use that name.
I like girlie names like Fern or Willow. Neither of which, however, would work for my line of writing. See, what I deliver is sarcasm, black humour, a little slapstick comedy, sexual frustration, and feline superiority. I thought maybe Scarlet, because it's just a little sexy and a little fun. But my books may all have the word "red" in the title (book one is tentatively called Red Hot Rods), and with a redheaded main character, having the author's name be Scarlet would be a bit much.
And I can't deny that there's a slight inclination to borrow the manimal's fortunate surname... making me Pamela Anderson. People would buy the book thinking I was the chesty Baywatch chickie. But do I want to make money off of people who mistake me for a Boob-list celebrity? Don't I want them to be buying it for ME??
Why do I want a pen name? I can't commit to a genre, and I'm afraid if I put my name on a book I'll be forced to write like that forever. I want to save my name until I've written my opus. The Great Canadian Novel (which, incidentally, will be called BottleCaps, and will start its climb to the top whenever I finish stringing these short stories together...).
I could always delve into my secret list of names I hold on reserve for future characters, a list I painstakingly wrote up from a book of 10,000 baby names from around the globe. Does anyone else think Hawaiian names are totally the shit? I do.
But now I have just killed a large spider who was idling on the wall next to my computer table, and am too distracted to go on. Alas, bed calls. G'night, RIP Steve Irwin. I got really misty-eyed and had to turn away when I saw the footage of you talking about how your daughter was your whole world. I know you lived your life exactly how you wished, and I hope you come back as whatever your favourite animal was, since you always showed them such respect.
:P