This has got to stop.
I love my friends and still considerate of those who have shunned me from their life but this has got to end. No more petty fighting over stupid internet actions...this is how we got here to begin with... and Mo you can't be mad at me for this you went to bed and left me with the laptop.
First of all i will apologize for the delayed removal of the pictures in one of my recent posts i don't look at my own posts my compy is set up to go directly to my friends page so its often overlooked, but they are removed now so everyone can be happy hunky dorry!
Now on to the good stuff...I realize livejournal is an amazing place to vent afterall I'm pretty sure thats why it was created to vent, blog and basically pour your heart out about what ever tickles your fancy. So honestly say whatever you please, I could care less. However when I see facts that are blatantly wrong and assumptions (you're so good at them {not an insult simply a fact.}) that needn't ever been made. I assure you I will feel the need to use this in just the same way I encourage you too. So here's what I have to say:
I have stayed very silent on this whole situation. I made one very heartfelt post about what I was honestly thinking and although I would have hoped for more than just a "I still haven't decided what's going on even though I told you I didn't want to work things out" That's all I got and I was fine with that. I don't need to waste my time worrying about a situation thats "pending." I like to lead as much of a drama-free life as I can.
i HAVE ANXIETY! I cause enough stress to myself just living my daily life, because I'm fucked up. We all have our problems and that one is mine, and honestly lately I have been very calm. So I'm pretty damn proud of myself.
All those things dull in comparison to what I really have to say, but everyone whos reading this knows I take forever to get to the nitty gritty of things. So I'll break it down:
1. I do have a voice. I can speak for myself, and I'm deffinatly not petty enough to let others talk for me. The truth is wether you want to hear it or not I could care less about the situation. I don't think about it, so I don't have an opinion about it. The only reason why I have an opinion now is because people are getting heated and this are getting misconstrued, which brings me to my next point...
2. I perhaps its easier to group two people together when they are in the same kind of situation, But when it is done over and over again when things have certainly changed it gets on my nerves a bit. Please don't try and act like you tried contacting me, never once did you call, message, text or comment (for anything other than other than your own personal benifit). So don't group us together. You made no last attempt tp make things up with me. To be honest I tried to call to sort things out and you "didnt want to talk about it." I left you a message trying to get to the bottom of an awful misunderstanding went wrong, and you didn't even feel the need to address me personally about it (after being so close, I would have thought I deserved more than that at the very least). And as a very last effort i posted here (already mentioned this earlier in the post.) And after all that you said you were done, So i accepted your wishes and left it alone. What makes me laugh most about this entire epic shit fit? I (and I'm pretty sure Morgan too...) have no idea what you're true problems with us were. I am still in the dark about what issues you felt were unresolved and what shortcomings we possibly had. The thing is relationships friendships or otherwise are give and take, If you don't voice a concern I can in no way help mend the problem. I know this sounds bitter I promise its not, life is far too short to stay bitter about the people who come and go from your life. The fact remains that people change and grow. Some grow closer together, and others just drift apart.
I sincerly wish that back in the beginning before this shit got way out of control that we could have all sat down, aired all our greivences and been closer for it. And I wished things were still repairable. But its clear to me any crime I commited against you. you aren't willing to forgive me for. And thats just fine, I hope you move forward to find and keep the friends who care about you and fit you as an individual. Good luck to you and you're family i wish you nothing but good things for your future.
My case is closed.
{And for Morgan thank you for listening to me and not making any rash descions, I think a little part of me was planning this all along, more tension would have just been counter productive}
I think its time for all of us to move on, I know I will be.
Goodbye.