ahhhhhh

[cheerio4u]

So in a small way I feel stressed ever since the work schedule came out I realized hey this is my last day off untill ummm the next schedule comes out which is next week Wed. Not fun and it jsut makes me not want to work more and plus I have a test tomorrow well I guess now its today haven't studied for it becasue I had a busy morning of mowing and cleaning my room and putting 4 loads of laundry away. And then went to the movies with bryan and that didn't turn out so well. I'm not sure what I want any more we almost broke up which would of been all on me and I felt like an ass the whole time making some one cry doesn't it make you feel awesome. she made me feel like shit. and in away I feel really rude about and at the same time I told him how I felt. I know I hurt him a lot but I just don't know what I want any more. He said that he would change this and change that but I don't want him to change things becasue I say to and I dont' want to be that bitch that doesn't want him to do this or that and them I look mean. And my friend was like well if hes willing to change what else do you want and You know what I'm not sure maybe I'm jsut not happy I dont' know what I want out of life aka even and major after 4 years I dont' even know what I want out of a relationship I jsut in a way want to be a single person and now have to worry about peoples feelings. fuck idk my eyes are starting to burn a little. I think I should sleep.

I wish I could move to another country and start my life over in all sorts of ways.