(no subject)
don't you just hate when you do something because you want a person to like you more but once you've done it it doesn't really change anything! then later on when you think back on it you know that it wasn't a smart thing to do and now you have to live withthe fact that you did it and you can't take it back. and even worse don't you hate when you have to admit to it so that you don't make the same mistake with another person! wow this feeling sucks cause now you're screwed cause you did what you did, it didn't help any withthat person and not only that you have to look the new person in the eye and tell them what you've done. and it's not the fact that you're ashamed of what you've done cause you've thought it over and it wasn't a big deal but it is a big deal to tell this new person cause now you feel that they will never look at you the same way and you feel that they'll look down upon you and the person you are. and you know this new person isn't really in it like you are and that they don't want the same thing you want so going through this is pretty mush a waste except for the fact that you don't want them to look at you differently. damn this sucks cause i still want the first person to like me but they don't and i'm fucking confused. =-( oh well i guess its these kind of things that we have to learn to live with but that still doesn't make me feel any better and i still feel sad and lonely