(no subject)

Jan 18, 2005 22:32



   hahahah! My hunny is in a retro-ish movie soon, thats SUCH a funny picture! But... still sexay!

So ANYWAYS, today has been...wow. A lot of thinking to do. So turns out that today was supposed to be my meeting at school deciding what my consequence is for what i did a few weeks ago, and it was TOTALLY different than what i thought it would be. I thought they were gonna talk to me and I would be able to stand up for myself and they could hear my side, but, no the meeting was totally different. There was a meeting this week with the administrators of my school and they decided my fate, and turns out, beause of a state law, no matter WHAT they say, I can't stay at LACES. So what they did is, they just gave me a chance that I would leave LACES, go to my home school, and nothing would be on my record. This whole thing just, really sucks. I honestly didnt think it would turn out this way and I'm just...really sad. I thought at least they would let me finish the fucking semester so I could say goodbye and everything but I'm enrolling in Orville Wright TOMORROW. *sigh* there were so many people I wanted to talk to and set things straight with before i left and, i dont know but I'm getting really depressed. I mean, of course I'll be able to see my good friends but what about the people that I talk to, but I'm not super close with? I just never see them again...and I mean just talking about all this shit I;ve gone through makes me really sad. Sure, I definately complained a lot about LACES, but still...just LEAVING was hard. One thing I'm really gonna miss is cheer. I doubt they have a team at Orville, and I was just starting to be happy with cheer. I had people in my grade there, and we have the gym now, but you know, I made a HUGE fucking mistake and I guess this is the was I have to deal with it. I wish i could know who told on me. Ms Miller told me it was one of ym friends who "cares" about me, but if they honestly cared, they wouldn't have told, they knew what would happen, and I hope their fucking ass is happy now. I saw Laisha in the bathroom and I'm not even super close with her and just seeing her and sayin I was leaving made me real sad, and iono, i think leaving for high school would be leaving a good year and starting new, but THIS...it just isnt rite. The only good thing about this process is that I'll be with my oldest best friend Sam at her school so I wont be TOTALLY alone, but I can just see whats gonna happen..it's gonna be just lyk laces anmd every1 is gonna hate me for no reason and I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight thinkin about first impressions and what I'm gonna wear. Aye...rite now I'm just a total mess and I need to stop crying because I need to be strong about this and just learn. All this shit is my own fault, and thats just the bttom line. Nobody is probably reading this, but if you go to laces and I know you, I will definately miss you, and I dont know what else t sya other than, that I made a huge mistake and thta I'm an idiot for that. I <3 you if you honestly <3 me, but I doubt anyone does if my supposed friend told on me and got me kicked out. I need to stop complaing and go, so...I'll proibly neevr see some of you again so please keep it touch, <3

~.Clare.~
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