(no subject)

[cheer_up_honey]

i just went to the open casket viewing for juan and thomas vasquez.
they were murdered here last friday.
i didn't know them at all, so i felt weird being there, but i guess teresa didn't want to go alone.
i'd never seen a dead person before, and when i got up to the caskets i got scared.
i don't even know why.
like, i'd never seen what it was like after a person dies.
their bodies were there, but they weren't.

i think it was something i needed to see though.

i've been thinking about the family since i found out.
i feel so bad.
it's hard to understand that something like this can happen.
tonight made me realize that it can.
what would drive someone to kill a father and his son?
i think the family deserves to know that.
but i know no one will ever really know why.
and, god, i can't imagine what that feels like.

after the viewing there was a holy rosary prayer vigil--
another thing i've never experienced.
it was strange and interesting, but the whole time i was just so confused about why this happened and how someone can be expected to deal with it.