(no subject)
so life, yeah its as confusing as ever.
i have no drive left in me to finish my work for the semester, i used to love school...i guess im just tired.
i have definantly made a resolution to never go back to MEHS for a play without my friends to keep me grounded. without one of you guys there, just by stepping onto campus by myself throws me all the way back to how i felt when i was still stuck there. by being by myself i have nothing to remind me that i no longer have an obligation to like the people there. to make it a little more clear: i hated the later years of high school, especially senior year. dont get me wrong, it had a few high points, but those are often clouded by the depression i went through while i was there. i had absolutely no self esteem and felt like i was a loser, below everybody else and felt like my accomplishments meant nothing. however, now i understand that i dont have to be going to a uc school right away to feel successful and i dont have to know what it is im going to do with my life. i dont have to compare myself to others to measure my success. ive finally come to terms with myself and realized that if people dont like what i do they can kiss my ass because they probably aren't somebody who cares about me if they lets my quirks and flaws get in the way of how they feel about me. if i make stupid decisions, leave me alone, im human, those mistakes were made by ME therefore they are MY problems, not yours.
okay, im done ranting, i feel better, no wait, one more, my sister is being a huge wench right now. yup, now im deffinantly done.
now onto this project...
i have no drive left in me to finish my work for the semester, i used to love school...i guess im just tired.
i have definantly made a resolution to never go back to MEHS for a play without my friends to keep me grounded. without one of you guys there, just by stepping onto campus by myself throws me all the way back to how i felt when i was still stuck there. by being by myself i have nothing to remind me that i no longer have an obligation to like the people there. to make it a little more clear: i hated the later years of high school, especially senior year. dont get me wrong, it had a few high points, but those are often clouded by the depression i went through while i was there. i had absolutely no self esteem and felt like i was a loser, below everybody else and felt like my accomplishments meant nothing. however, now i understand that i dont have to be going to a uc school right away to feel successful and i dont have to know what it is im going to do with my life. i dont have to compare myself to others to measure my success. ive finally come to terms with myself and realized that if people dont like what i do they can kiss my ass because they probably aren't somebody who cares about me if they lets my quirks and flaws get in the way of how they feel about me. if i make stupid decisions, leave me alone, im human, those mistakes were made by ME therefore they are MY problems, not yours.
okay, im done ranting, i feel better, no wait, one more, my sister is being a huge wench right now. yup, now im deffinantly done.
now onto this project...