Missing pieces...
Every year summer rolls around and it feels like something is missing.
That's PACAA.
I remember when Jr. Staffers would leave and they would be very honest in their going away speech. I remember Chad saying that he was closing this chapter in his life and would not be back. I remember that being the saddest thing I had ever heard. How can a person just walk away from the Leaders? (Sometimes it DOES feel a little cultish, despite all our efforts to prove it otherwise... but there have been jokes.)
It seems so strange to me that an organization that was the PRIMARY influence in my life, the people that, and I'm not being trite, made me who I am should just disappear.
Some of that is due to my gross inability to keep in touch with people. But a lot of it is due to, as Chad put it, closing that chapter in my life. Apart from the occasional pang of regret I feel for not being involved and the occasional wave of sadness over growing older and not being able to relive my childhood, I'm mostly content in my life and its priorities.
I'll admit that I would gladly relive that period of time in my life (even the part where one of the male Leaders broke my heart, spun me into a 2 year depression where I gained 40 pounds). There are "inside jokes" that are starting to lose their stronghold on my memory and I can only catch glimpese now and again. (It took me 20 minutes to remember Jon Braekel's last name the other day, and I've completely blanked on Dawn and Renee's names from Sewickly... or were they Allegheny?) SCUSA! Sorry, that deserved an exclamation point because I just remembered it.
I'm glad for the people I've kept in touch with and I still consider them among my closest friends. But life changes... and you can never go back - at least, not the way you want to. But I'm always still wondering if I've made the right decision.
That's PACAA.
I remember when Jr. Staffers would leave and they would be very honest in their going away speech. I remember Chad saying that he was closing this chapter in his life and would not be back. I remember that being the saddest thing I had ever heard. How can a person just walk away from the Leaders? (Sometimes it DOES feel a little cultish, despite all our efforts to prove it otherwise... but there have been jokes.)
It seems so strange to me that an organization that was the PRIMARY influence in my life, the people that, and I'm not being trite, made me who I am should just disappear.
Some of that is due to my gross inability to keep in touch with people. But a lot of it is due to, as Chad put it, closing that chapter in my life. Apart from the occasional pang of regret I feel for not being involved and the occasional wave of sadness over growing older and not being able to relive my childhood, I'm mostly content in my life and its priorities.
I'll admit that I would gladly relive that period of time in my life (even the part where one of the male Leaders broke my heart, spun me into a 2 year depression where I gained 40 pounds). There are "inside jokes" that are starting to lose their stronghold on my memory and I can only catch glimpese now and again. (It took me 20 minutes to remember Jon Braekel's last name the other day, and I've completely blanked on Dawn and Renee's names from Sewickly... or were they Allegheny?) SCUSA! Sorry, that deserved an exclamation point because I just remembered it.
I'm glad for the people I've kept in touch with and I still consider them among my closest friends. But life changes... and you can never go back - at least, not the way you want to. But I'm always still wondering if I've made the right decision.