It's Over? huh?
I guess it still doesn't function in my head that alex isn't my boyfriend and i'm not his priority anymore. I felt so selfish the other night.....He called me and i said for himt o call in 15 mins (that way it would be free for him) so he said he ws going out but he would when he got there...so then i he called back and it went like this
me: Hey Al
him: hey hun
*background noise*
me: how are you?
him: haha, oh, what? oh hey! yeah good..you?
me: um, good thanks
*background noise*
him: aha shuttup
me: are you a bit busy?
him: haha oh not you!! yeah sort of, sorry um haha, yeah yeah i am kind of i'll call you in a bit
me: it's fine
and i hung up b4 he could really finish..it wasn't even that bad, it's just because i could hear girls voices in the background and laughter, he was only at a BBQ but i still assumed that it was his girlfriend i could hear and it just hurt so much....
He sent me a sms after that, he does that when he know si'm upset, it made me feel guilty
"Sorry baby my mates are being smart arses" I felt like saying "i'm not your baby" or "Sorry, i'm not your girlfriend, you must have sent the msg to the wrong person" but i knew that was harsh...and i also knew he calls me those names all the time and didn't mean it in a aaffectionate way, well not how he used to anyway....
He called later away from the party,fuck. i Know he still loves me and so does he,..it was nice of him to call, not many guys call when there are chicks, football and grog. So i should say "I am so lucky" but it still sucks...
Here is a quote that matches how i'm feeling so well:
'Should i smile because you're my friend, or cry because that's all we are?'
He spoilt me, i spoilt him..we spoilt ourselves really. I don't understand myself, I have had about....five offers since he left but i'm just not ready for a relationship. I don't know about Chris, well actually i'm fine about that, he isn't looking for a relationship and neither am i. Just some comfort i suppose.
Whatever...
me: Hey Al
him: hey hun
*background noise*
me: how are you?
him: haha, oh, what? oh hey! yeah good..you?
me: um, good thanks
*background noise*
him: aha shuttup
me: are you a bit busy?
him: haha oh not you!! yeah sort of, sorry um haha, yeah yeah i am kind of i'll call you in a bit
me: it's fine
and i hung up b4 he could really finish..it wasn't even that bad, it's just because i could hear girls voices in the background and laughter, he was only at a BBQ but i still assumed that it was his girlfriend i could hear and it just hurt so much....
He sent me a sms after that, he does that when he know si'm upset, it made me feel guilty
"Sorry baby my mates are being smart arses" I felt like saying "i'm not your baby" or "Sorry, i'm not your girlfriend, you must have sent the msg to the wrong person" but i knew that was harsh...and i also knew he calls me those names all the time and didn't mean it in a aaffectionate way, well not how he used to anyway....
He called later away from the party,fuck. i Know he still loves me and so does he,..it was nice of him to call, not many guys call when there are chicks, football and grog. So i should say "I am so lucky" but it still sucks...
Here is a quote that matches how i'm feeling so well:
'Should i smile because you're my friend, or cry because that's all we are?'
He spoilt me, i spoilt him..we spoilt ourselves really. I don't understand myself, I have had about....five offers since he left but i'm just not ready for a relationship. I don't know about Chris, well actually i'm fine about that, he isn't looking for a relationship and neither am i. Just some comfort i suppose.
Whatever...