[This Temple Tilts] Chapter Four
"Oh, perfect, yes, because you're the exact person I want to see," the Doctor says from where he sits on the porch, watching Dean and his team of dead men pack up a truck. "What do you think of this - this nonsense?"
Death sits beside the Doctor and watches impassively. "All time is death and decay to me."
"Don't give me that." The Doctor's eyes follow Castiel, running a hand over a pretty young girl's side before he pulls on his jacket. He's seen it enough times, tried to intervene enough times, that he knows the exact words Castiel will say, knows the rattle in Castiel's pockets, knows the way the girl's heart skips a beat, knows exactly what Dean is saying on the other side of the truck. This whole thing is rubbish - there's no way he's been here so long to have passed four cycles, but four cycles have passed nonetheless.
"This is a fascinating torture, isn't it?” Death says, cutting through the Doctor's litany of frustrations. “The last timelord, trapped in a time loop. As if living through linear time wasn't bad enough." Death is staring at the Doctor. "I'm still not pleased with you."
The Doctor looks over and smiles, suddenly and for the first time in days. "Next time. Maybe."
"Maybe," Death replies. "I admit, I never get tired of reaping Dean Winchester. This may not be his true death, but he so irritated me in his intended time line that I find it cathartic nonetheless.” He already sounds bored. The Doctor likes when Death is bored; it usually means he'll move on without much fuss. There aren't many things that the Doctor doesn't understand, but Death tops that list. “Why did you stop the Winchesters from freeing Lucifer? You knew that this was not going to be the end of the Earth."
The Doctor shrugs as he watches Castiel climb into a truck and shift in his seat. No one else can see them, of course - the Doctor isn't even sure if Castiel can see them - but the Doctor winces as the frail bony remains of Castiel's wings retract to his body. "It seemed wasteful. Too many dead - my way saved thousands of lives." The Doctor grins again and adds, "Clever, too."
"Yes, clearly the devil is in the details," Death intones. He pushes himself upright, cane in hand.
"I miss the cloak and scythe getup." The Doctor watches the trucks rumble out the gate of Camp Chitaqua, and knows that the loop will start again before long. "It has style."
"A suit never goes out of style. I came to tell you that your TARDIS will soon die. We've known each other long enough that it seemed... polite to ask if you want to send her a message."
The Doctor's whole body goes still, and he can feel the twin beat of his hearts within his chest. "It's impossible - nothing can kill the TARDIS, she's a ship."
"She has a soul. All souls are eventually mine; you know that keener than us all, old friend." Death straightens his shoulders and braces both hands on his cane. He looks regal and unforgiving where he stands. The Doctor shakes his head. "The angels tore her soul from her body. It was only a matter of time."
"She's a fighter," the Doctor says. "She won't die without a fight. She won't die before I get out of here." The Doctor clenches his fists and closes his eyes.
"Perhaps," Death says. "But I am the one creature that she cannot fight forever."
* * *
Dean doesn't know what he expects when he opens the door, but he doesn't expect to see two women on the doorstep, one holding the other, unconscious, in her arms. "Um, can I help you?" he asks before he gets a good look at the unconscious woman. It clicks into place at about the same time the woman - the Impala, holy shit - muscles past him and finds her way to the couch. "Sam, is this - "
"What happened?" Castiel interrupts, helping the woman lower her unconscious partner onto Bobby's couch. He brushes the unconscious woman's hair back from her face and lifts each eyelid to examine her carefully.
While he's busy laying hands on, or whatever it is angels do, Dean runs into the study. "They're here. I think. Sam! Sam, is that my car?" He rushes back with the sound of footfall behind him, and when he arrives Castiel has a hand on the TARDIS' forehead, expression wooden and pained. "Cas?"
"Shh!" the Impala snaps, holding the TARDIS' hand tightly.
It doesn't take Castiel more than a minute to pull away from the TARDIS, shaking his head. "I cannot contain her; I've done what I can, but she's going to die. We don't have long."
The Impala bites her lip, and traces a line on the TARDIS' cheek. "She found him."
"Where?" Castiel asks - at the same time River says, "Thank goodness, let's get going!"
"In - she used me, you see, to follow potential futures. And she found him in a future - 2014, except Lucifer is free and has taken Sam? I don't know what it means, I don't know how I'm supposed to find him on my own!" The Impala takes a deep breath and nods. "Castiel, do you know?"
"I could look," Castiel says, like he's considering it carefully. Then he nods, clearing his throat. "Yes, that's enough information. I can find the Doctor with that."
"Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute!" Dean clears his throat and shakes his head. "You can't just start riffling through hypothetical futures, especially one where Lucifer is roaming unchecked. I'm willing to bet he's not too happy to see you."
Castiel frowns. "No one else can do it."
"Cas - "
"This is not up for discussion." Castiel touches the Impala's arm. She looks up at him for a moment, tear stains on her cheeks, but she looks away from Castiel when he meets her eyes. "They're both dying; the TARDIS is just going faster. If I don't do this, then their lives are on my hands. I need time." When he storms out to the porch, Dean follows. It's not that Dean doesn't want to figure out exactly what's going on with his car, but this is bigger. This is more important.
"Cas, you don't know what it's like!"
"You think I don't know what a prison manipulated by vengeful angels will be like?" Castiel is standing with his face upturned, taking a deep breath. Sunset turns the clouds pink and orange, and Dean wishes he knew the right words. Words are not his strength.
"It's not like I don't trust you to do it, it's just... look, we stopped the Apocalypse. We kept Lucifer underground, and we did that because you were man enough to let me out. Without you, there's no way it would've happened. I can't imagine walking into a future intended as a prison is the smartest move. Damn it, Cas, I am not equipped to save you from angels!"
"Who asked you to?" Castiel's face is serene, which makes the bitter edge to his voice even stranger. "I have asked you for many things, Dean, but I have never asked you to do something for my personal gain. I am not a 'damsel.' I do not require your protection."
"Well, maybe I want to, okay?" At this Castiel turns his head and gives him the most curious look. Dean clears his throat and looks Castiel in the eye. It's just words. He can be a man about this. "We're like family, right? Family protects each other. We're in this together."
Castiel is more hesitant when he replies. "You have made it clear you're angry with me. It does not seem very familial."
"Can you blame me?" Dean fights the urge to run back inside and small the door on this moment. "You came in there and told me that you let my brother out of detox to hook up with his dealer - did you think I was going to pat you on the back and say it'll be okay? It's not okay. It took me a long time to stop imagining locking you up in the panic room, especially when Sam had to start all over again. But it doesn't mean that I don't..." Dean clears his throat again, and doesn't feel any better for his big emotional outburst. "Don't do anything stupid, okay? Just be smart, and come back in one piece."
"I will," Castiel says. "I need time alone to find the right place." He pauses, then adds, "I will tell you before I leave."
That's enough for Dean; he certainly doesn't know what else to say at this point. He goes back inside, his stomach in knots, and confronts his car. Well, he intends to confront his car. He's still pissed, so pissed when he looks at that body and knows that some poor woman is inside, but at the same time it sort of seems right. Weird, but fitting. She looks so damn sad that Dean's anger evaporates to a low simmer. She meets his eye, and she knows. She has a look about her just like Castiel, like she can see right into his thoughts. “How did you send Cas hurtling into Bobby's kitchen?” he asks, his voice raw. “Last I checked, that's an angel-only tool.”
She looks sidelong at him with a little knowing smile; she looks a little proud. “He did it to himself - I just pushed. I always take people where they want to go.”
Dean clears his throat. "You want to see the car? I mean, you. I guess. Damn!"
She looks up and nods, wiping her face as she stands. She lingers over the TARDIS for another moment, and Dean can't help but feel a little betrayed. The TARDIS not only stole his car, but now his car likes her better. Go figure. They pass Castiel silently; he doesn't move or say anything anything to indicate that he sees them at all. When she sees the Impala, she actually smiles and rushes to touch the metal. "Oh, look at me. Dean, have I ever thanked you for how carefully you crafted me? Lesser men would have left my remains to rust after that accident with the truck." She shudders, and Dean finds himself considering what every bump, rear-end and collision felt like to her.
Flattered and confused, Dean flushes despite himself. "It's nothing. I mean, I couldn't just leave you."
"I always knew you loved me.” She continues as she runs her hand along the side and opens the back door. "I always found it an honor," she says as she climbs in the back seat of the car. Dean's head hurts when he tries to wrap his mind around the fact that his car is inside his car. He takes a long pull from his flask and takes a steadying breath. "When you picked me, I knew you were mine. Bearing the Winchesters to their destiny? It's been great."
"Dad picked you."
She smiles and shakes her head. "He thought he picked me, but it was you. I was always meant to be your car."
Right. It didn't seem that way to him; he always assumed his dad was destined to pick the Impala, no matter what. Dean clears his throat. "So, you were aware. All those years?"
"Oh yes," she says, flippant. She coughs hard, like she's been smoking for decades, and stretches out in the backseat. "All the girls and the fights and the spills on my leather. The rattling in the vents and the tears. I know more about you than anyone else in the world, Dean. You and I belong together."
"Are - Are you hitting on me?" Dean asks. She's cute; she's punky and looks like the kind of girl who has a lower back tattoo and listens to AC/DC. But then he remembers that she's his car, and there's no way he could ever... Thankfully (or maybe awkwardly) she laughs. "What?"
"Dean, we both know that you wouldn't want to if I were, and I'm not. You and I are the perfect match, but I'm not your soulmate." She leans her head back, smiling. "Oh, but I do miss this body. These human ones are restrictive. Slow. They break so easily; you cannot fix this body the way you fix mine. When we fix the world I'll be glad to return."
Dean shoves his hands in his pockets. She seems so normal to him, her expression so perfectly human that he wouldn't know she wasn't. He can't imagine how he's going to go back to having a car, knowing this. Knowing her. "Cas said you're dying."
"He did. I am. I am not a human, Dean; I cannot be contained in this body for long. Of course, longer than the TARDIS. She is much bigger, much more than I ever shall me."
"Hey now, don't let her sell you short like that.”
She laughs, but still looks sad. Slowly, she climbs out of the car and closes the door tenderly. She rests her forehead against the roof and exhales; her breath clouds the metal. "No, she would never. But I know, and watching her die is terrible for so many reasons."
"Why did you leave?" He asks the question like a hurt child, without even realizing it was bothering him - without knowing he would say it. "Why is the Doctor such a big deal?"
She looks at him quizzically. After a second she walks over to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding him tight in her arms. "For you and Sam, of course. It was my turn to save you, and to save you I have to save the Doctor. What did you think?"
Dean doesn't answer, but that's okay. She doesn't seem to need him to speak.
* * *
Castiel leaves not long after Dean and the Impala get back inside. The Impala excuses herself to rest, and Dean settles in to drink alone. Except he's not drinking alone, because Bobby's house is stuffed to the brim with people and no one can do anything alone. Earlier, Amy walked into the bathroom while he was showering to brush her teeth, as though they had known each other forever. There is no such thing as alone anymore, and Dean can't decide if he's pissed off and peopled out, or pissed off that it won't last.
Sam, Amy and Rory are talking about the TARDIS about two feet away. "This happened before," Rory says, and Sam looks like a kid being told a ghost story over a campfire. "It went about the same."
"But she didn't die then," Sam says. "So clearly something can be done, right?"
"Sure," Amy says, looking at the TARDIS as though she's using the force of will alone to keep the ship breathing. "We just have to get her back to her body - her real body - before she dies. No big deal."
River drops beside Dean on the love seat with a drink of her own. "Long time, no see," she says before she takes a sip. "Castiel is off to find the Doctor?"
"Fingers crossed," Dean says, scowling at the form of the TARDIS. "What's your deal, anyway? How do you fit into this whole thing? I get that you're looking for the Doctor, but why? You people don't make a damn bit of sense."
"We don't make sense? You shoot monsters for a living. You don't even make a living at it. How does time travel make us more difficult?" Dean stares at her, and she smirks at him. "You're not going to like it."
"Try me."
River rolls her eyes and nods toward Amy, who is back to maps and logistics with Sam; they're still desperately trying to figure out where the angels would hide a ship - a blue phone box, Rory explained when Dean asked how on earth a whole ship goes missing. "She's my mother."
"Bullshit." He looks from River to Amy again. "Bullshit."
"Honestly," River says. She takes another drink. "It's a very complex time travel and conspiracy problem that we still haven't managed to solve. But those are my parents, a couple years after my birth. I'm actually on the lam right now, you would say."
"For what?"
"I couldn't explain it, even if I were inclined to. So consider how truly bad things have to be that I looked at time and realized it was broken." She sips her drink and adds, "I wish I had been here when the angel left; I wanted to go with."
"You and me both." Dean looks over at her. For the first time since they've met her, she looks anxious. "Where have you been, anyway?"
"Following a lead. Unfortunately, what my contact thought was the TARDIS was actually just an antique phone box. Imagine our surprise." She laughs, and sounds genuinely amused. She even seems surprised when he doesn't laugh. "Goodness, you are grumpy. This is a good thing, Dean. When we find the Doctor, he'll be able to find the TARDIS."
He stands to refill his drink; River follows, and no one seems to notice them leave. Sitting and waiting and faith, he can't fucking stand it. "Angels can do some freaky mojo to your head. Maybe they made him forget, or make him think he's - I don't know, a fucking chicken or a schoolteacher. I once spent a week thinking I was this guy named Dean Smith, and sometimes I still wake up and forget that I'm not a corporate douchebag. All because an angel thought it would be a good life lesson."
"The Doctor is not so susceptible."
"I'm not worried about the Doctor!" Dean downs his drink quickly, and pours another. In a lower voice, he snaps, "I'm glad we're gonna find him and all that, but in the end I care about my family, not some guy I've never met who supposedly has the power to save my life. You're not the first person to try to sell me on that idea."
River frowns, then nods slowly. "I think I understand."
"You don't." Dean pours another drink. "This is all I've got. When everyone is gone and this whole thing is done, or we all die in a bloody mess, this is my entire life. Killing bad guys and watching my family in the line of danger. I'm sick of it."
River pats his back. "For what it's worth, I really do understand."
Dean doesn't take it as a comfort.
* * *
It's not so easy as blinking out of one time and into another. Castiel understands the theory, and knows that it can be done. He has visited various potential futures before, especially when the seals were breaking and he wanted to know what would become of Dean, but he has never done so once the futures were rendered moot.
The sensation isn't unlike passing through a wall from one time to another. It takes him two tries before he knows he has the right place. He can feel the strangeness in the presence of the Doctor. It feels nothing like the presence of another angel, but it's distinct from the other humans. He follows carefully to a cabin. Castiel looks around, squinting at the desolation of what looks like a decaying campground, before he approaches the skinny man sitting on a porch. He's frowning at a small piece of metal in his hands, tossing it between his palms. "You are the Doctor."
"Yes. And you - you. This is interesting, you're Castiel!" The Doctor jumps up and circles Castiel, hands moving in rapid, jerky motions as though he's trying to touch something intangible. With his tweed jacket and bright bow tie, he looks quite a bit like a teacher who has been misplaced. "But not this Castiel, and let me tell you that is a relief. Those bony things on the other Castiel, those are terrifying, but you. You are still an angel. A little weak, but an angel all the same. Well, what's the score then, my friend? Are we escaping? I love a good escape."
Castiel raises an eyebrow. "Yes, we need to go." He grabs hold of the Doctor's wrist and reaches his senses to breach the wall - and finds nothing. Scowling, he tries again, but his way in seems to have gone missing. He drops the Doctor's arm. "Something is wrong."
Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Epilogue