(no subject)
9 years ago today i held for the first time, the most amazing, stunningly beautiful little girl. the girl who would make me a mother, and be the first to ever call me "mama" the one who would show me there was such a thing as unconditional love at first sight. i love you bryton, and miss you every day. happy birthday angel. hard to believe it has been so very long since i first met this angel, and how long it has been since i felt her warm body in my arms. how different today would be, if she were here to celebrate with us. i have so many memories, but they will never be enough. never compare the the lifetime of memories we should still be making. i cherish these memories, because they are all i have left, and as time goes by, the memories fade, although i try desperatly to remember to cling to ever tiny drop of her i have... i am slowly forgetting her scent. it is now mixed with the scent of all my other kids. the sound of her laughter is a distant memory, i know it was wonderful, oure joy, but the actual sound i can no longer hear. the weight of her in my arms, and her smile, all just brief fleeting memories. i know who she was, but the day to day of knowing her is gone, and this breaks my heart.
she loved the cartoon stanley, on the disney chanel. i don't think it is on any more, but i got a dvd of it for her birthday a few years back, and everytime i hear the song on it, i instantly think of her. she loved ice cream, and licorice, and when she was only 4 months old, shaun and i were eating spaghetti, she grabbed the fork from me and started swirling it in the pasta, like she was going to eat some. we laughed and joked about how she was a little genius. she had 4 teeth by the time she was 8 months old, and she had the best smile ever. she had this funny face she would make just to get a laugh. we called it her "popeye" face.
sadly i don't have pictures of her making that face, but she would scrunch her nose up and close her eyes, while smiling as big as she possibly could. it was so funny and the more we laughed the more she would laugh and make her silly face. she was already a little jokester! she loved going for walks, and she had this little stuffed puppy that was her favorite toy. she held onto it's ear with her chubby little hand, and took it ever where we went. we even buried it with her. one time while we were at church she played "pick up puppy" with her dog. she was on my lap, and would lean way over and drop her puppy, then i would lower her down to pick it up. as soon as we were settled back down, she did it all over again. she had the whole church smiling and giggling, cause her laughter was so infectious. it kills me to not know who she would be today :(
happy birthday angel baby. i love you more then i can describe in these brief words. i think of you every single day of my life, and i will never forget you, this i promise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TptM8CqrIdU
she loved the cartoon stanley, on the disney chanel. i don't think it is on any more, but i got a dvd of it for her birthday a few years back, and everytime i hear the song on it, i instantly think of her. she loved ice cream, and licorice, and when she was only 4 months old, shaun and i were eating spaghetti, she grabbed the fork from me and started swirling it in the pasta, like she was going to eat some. we laughed and joked about how she was a little genius. she had 4 teeth by the time she was 8 months old, and she had the best smile ever. she had this funny face she would make just to get a laugh. we called it her "popeye" face.
sadly i don't have pictures of her making that face, but she would scrunch her nose up and close her eyes, while smiling as big as she possibly could. it was so funny and the more we laughed the more she would laugh and make her silly face. she was already a little jokester! she loved going for walks, and she had this little stuffed puppy that was her favorite toy. she held onto it's ear with her chubby little hand, and took it ever where we went. we even buried it with her. one time while we were at church she played "pick up puppy" with her dog. she was on my lap, and would lean way over and drop her puppy, then i would lower her down to pick it up. as soon as we were settled back down, she did it all over again. she had the whole church smiling and giggling, cause her laughter was so infectious. it kills me to not know who she would be today :(
happy birthday angel baby. i love you more then i can describe in these brief words. i think of you every single day of my life, and i will never forget you, this i promise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TptM8CqrIdU