thought i might write something been a while
There are points in life that you just can't explain the thought of losing people, and the thought of people coming into your life. I've been home for about six days, and eighteen more to go, but in the time spent here I start realize the significance of each person in my life. Although it does feel like I am living in solitude just cause the fact I have no where to go here, everything is just so foreign. However being lost in a place that your unfamiliar to is just another adventure. Each day I learn something new, and each day I feel more at home. Still I feel away, away from my home, it’s true that my family is in Texas and that’s home, but where I live is in California. I have family and many close friends there. Its true that some friends have passed through my life, but those that have stayed around are becoming closer and closer. I miss everyone very dearly. I try and talk to them on the phone as much as I can, keeps me sane!!! No one likes being left alone where they nothing about. My family is trying to help, and I appreciate all they are doing, but once again it’s come to that problem in life where they just hand me everything and I have no clue what to do with it. For once I would just like to go this rout alone, well I know i'm not alone, but at some point I really have stop accepting all this that my dad gives, because it gives me no way to learn for myself. I always grew up thinking I would have to do nothing and that I was always going to be fine, oh I learned at a young age that’s not true, but my dad tries, and I try not to accept every bit of help, I want to climb my own mountains, I want to just learn new things on my own, even if its through the mistakes that we all make. First step is to find a way to make myself more at home here in San Antonio where my family is, because at home everything is established on a very strong foundation. The foundation has yet to be made here in Texas and it’s about time I pour the concrete out and get it into gear. Oh and I realize i’m here only for a short time, but my family is going to be living here for at least 4 more years. I have future times to be ready for. Oh and one last thing, while I am trying to get pulled together here, which has been great. I really hate the fact of not being home and getting to talk to those that matter in person, its great hearing their voice but distance sometimes gets to be a great distraction. I worry, can't help it, just how things are and have been going wish I could be there to offer all the support that I can, not that I’m not but I want to give my all.