So

[cheddarbunnie31]

Last night I had a dream. That I had gotten back together with a certain person that I have spent most of the summer trying to block out of my crazy head. While I slept, I felt like there was another person there and I woke up trying to push them away from me. For those first few moments between sleep and consciousness, I was terrified that it was all true and that I was simply going to go back to where I started. It was the worst feeling to think that I had just thrown the past two months away and sunken into arms that had abandoned me twice before without explanation.
So I threw up.
Of course that didn't make the feeling go away (and Thai food isn't that pretty to begin with), but instead I felt that at 4 in the morning, the bathroom floor was my only comfort.
I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I was to afraid I would have another dream and wake up feeling like I couldn't breath again.

I'm completely confused by this. In one sense, it would be ok to get back together again. In the other, I would end up being screwed over yet again and wasting the past two months of developing my independence and forgetting all the hurt that was caused. I have a million things telling me to get past this, make it all go away, but my mind keeps dropping hints that things could be different.

So what do I do?