(no subject)
so, im not having a very good day, no real reason, its just one of those days.
so i make a burger and go sit in the living room and try to talk to karen, i figure shell have something to say thatll brighten me up a little. but of course im wrong. she starts going crazy about me needing to ask of of work because of swimming, which i really cant do, and shes telling me i have to give up a whole weekend next month to spend the whole time at the pool. and then i tried to talk to her about this dentist thing and she just sighs, so i try for school, well that dosent work either, she says i need to start taking things into my own hands if i wont let her do them in her own time. what a bunch of bull. if i itried to schedual my own swimming, or my own doctors appts, or get anything done with my counseler, she go crazy and want to do it herself.
and then she just gets up and leaves while im talking. she got in that car and left. she didnt say hey im going, here ill be back or anything. so who knows. im so irritated.
this is one of those days where little stupid things build up and then put you over the edge. things that really shouldnt mean anything, but for some reason they do. ugh.
and this is me and my lack of computer art skills explaining how i feel. everyone always thinks im happy because they only see me when the line rockets up, and id say thats probably because i tend to be happy when im around those people, my friends make me more happy than anything else, but then the rest of the time, being monday-friday afternoon, and most sundays, and a good chunk of saturday i feel like shit. i dont tell anyone that of course because i dont like to play the pity me game and being apathetic is really annoying.
down down down
i need to figure out a way to cheer up. not jsut because im with the people that matter, i need to be happy more often, i dont want to be seen as a pesimist, or cynical, or whatever. i hear that at school all the time. and it really isnt me.