001- Wrong place, worst time, in-fucking-deed.

[checkoutpandora]

[At first when the feed comes on, it's to a lot of dramatic sighing... And some tapping on the PCD, because what the hell is this fuckery. All of this is said in the most congenial tone ever.]

Okay. You got me. I'm in that freaky "Lucifer wins, everyone dies" reality, right? Yeah- saw it, already. Skipped ahead in the history textbook, remember? Don

Comments

[feel_nevermore]

No. This is not this freaky reality. [Her tone is harsh and stubborn.]

This place's called Adstringendum.

[checkoutpandora]

Ooh. That's a mouthful. Can we change the name to something catchier like... I dunno... I Need To Be Out of Here Five Minutes Ago? Kinda in the middle of something and I don't have time for this reality bending bullshit.

[feel_nevermore]

[A shrug.] You can call it the way you like really. But you can't get out of here. None of us can.

...Even Lucifer didn't manage to escape so far. [And she says it with a mix of sarcasm and regret.]

[checkoutpandora]

.....

Back up.

Pause.

Lucifer what?

[feel_nevermore]

[Raven chuckles softly.] One can always find someone more powerful.

I bet he hates them for it though. The Animus.

[checkoutpandora]

I'm sure he does. Here's the real question. Why is everyone so calm about this? Last party I was at, Lucifer showing up was kind of a big deal. Don't tell me someone's got him on a short leash, 'cause (A. If he's on one, then like hell if I wanna know if I've got one that matches and (B. ...There is no B. I'm still stuck on everyone just being as placid as Hindu cows about Lucifer gatecrashing.

[feel_nevermore]

Calm? [A snort, before her voice raises a bit.] What did you expect? ...that we'd all be running around screaming in fear?

He's been here for more than a month now. And it hasn't been a pleasant month. But we're not gonna stop living just because he's here. ...We'll just be extremely happy when he's gone. We might even throw a party. [And of course, if Gabriel knew Raven, he would know the deep meaning of this sentence considering that she never throws party.]

[checkoutpandora]

Yeah, that's usually the reaction when Satan walks the earth. Call me a sucker for tradition.

That's a relief. For a minute there? I almost thought the son of a bitch had parades in his honor. I mean, it's Bizarro World, right? These things happen.

[feel_nevermore]

[Sarcastic eyebrow raise.] Really? I thought that happened only when he started burning the whole place down...

Oh no, there are no parades. That said you shouldn't worry about him. He knows how to set little "sound and light shows" all by himself.

You're Gabriel, right? As in the archangel Gabriel, I presume. ...Is Lucifer your ennemy then?

[checkoutpandora]

Lucifer's my brother. End quote. Period.

[feel_nevermore]

Which doesn't necessarily mean you two get along well. [Because a girl can hope, right?] And from what you said before, I gathered you don't get along with many other angels either.

I think you were already given the coordinates of the clinic. Any other information you'd like?

[checkoutpandora]

Unlike the Bon Jovi song? I'm not what Cain was to Abel. They leave me alone? I leave them alone.

How 'bout the coordinates to wherever Lucifer's not?

[feel_nevermore]

[She smirks. When she returns home, she'll have to tell Cyborg that Bon Jovi songs are not that useless after all.] Not a six gun lover then?

Now that's a tricky question. My first answer would be he's always where you least want him to be. We do have some churches though. Can Lucifer still walk on consacreted ground? Somehow that sounds a bit cliché...

[checkoutpandora]

I'll answer that when you're legal.

....He's an angel, not a vampire. What d'you think? All that crap about crucifixes and 'get thee behind me' BS? It's bogus. He's an angel and he'll always be an angel. He probably hides in churches just for the irony.

[feel_nevermore]

[A smirk.] Oh I'm pretty sure I must be legal somewhere.

Of course. [But it's always worth double checking that kind of things.] Well then the answer to your question is that he can be just anywhere. ...He's always too close for comfort if you ask me.

...One of my friends owns a bar if you're interested. [Because you just strike her as the type. And because of the irony. Her smirk widens.] It's called the Seventh Heaven, and as far as I know, there are no angels there.

[checkoutpandora]

Seriously? Alanis Morissette couldn't write that kind of irony.