Signing out!
So in case you can't really figure out what's going on, this is what's been happening the past couple of weeks:
When I was at home over break, I was taking a lot of crap from my parents about finances. And it ended up in the position that they were going to have to refinance the house for my education...in only my second semester of college! For one thing, when I had moved from California, I was under the impression that in return for me going out there with them, they'd pay my way through school. No strings attached. Then when I get out here, Mom tells me I have to turn around after I graduate and pay them back for my education. Why should I do that? I mean, I'm here, in a place that I don't really want to be...I could've had a full scholarship at CSUB or something back home, and they drag me out here and put me in school (I mean I love the school and all, it's just...you know)and then tell me I'm going to end up paying for it anyway. I'd rather go out on my own and pay for a school that I want to go to than to be here and have to take shit from them about finances.
After coming to this conclusion, I decided that I wanted out. I wanted to go where I'd be happier. So I didn't have much money to my name, but I'd been trying to save. I almost flew out last weekend, on a whim, but was talked out of it. Much to the relief of my better half, Adam. So I was going to do this right. The plan became that I was going to move out somewhere in the area, get a full-time job, and save until early March.
Then I heard about this job with AmeriCorps that had opened up because of a position that hadn't been filled at the beginning of the term. I'd serve half a year there. So I applied for it, but I had to wait out the process, and wasn't sure what was going to happen, so I ended up back at school while I waited. I was interviewed on the phone on Monday, and found out Tuesday that I had been beaten out of the position by someone who was a regular volunteer and knew exactly what he was doing, and was local etc. (in so many words). Well I had my heart set on getting out there, now that the possibility had arisen, so I leaned on my background and accomplishments at McDonalds and decided to fly out there anyway and apply for an almost-guaranteed job, that will have me making more than the AmeriCorps job would've given me by far (although there are other benefits involved with AmeriCorps, not to mention the fact that you're helping people in need).
On Tuesday, I pulled out of my classes, and arranged things so that I could stay and keep my school-issued laptop until today, and explained that I'd be flying out on Saturday. I had arranged for temporary housing once I got out there, and was trying to keep the roommate I'll be staying with updated.
On Wednesday, my mother came to the school to bring things I'd left at home. As she stood outside my door (I was supposed to be in class) I heard her call my phone and leave a message. "Hey, I'm here. I was wondering if you wanted to meet me, or if not, just pick up your stuff outside your room. And by the way, your Aunt Ila called and she's saying some weird stuff about you, so you probably want to confirm or deny that...love you, bye." Before I left the room, I had someone come up here and check to make sure she was gone. I had to investigate, but somehow (my little informant cousin) my secret had gotten out. And now I had no choice but to clear it up. I called my Aunt to see what she had said, called my mom and told her where i was moving, and partially why (she figured out the other part). I lied to her and told her I got the job, even though I didn't. Saying I'm going to work at McDonald's makes me feel like I'm not doing anything with my life, but I know that's not the truth. It's only temporary. I was also finding out that you can't pay with anything but a card online for flights (you'd think that's a duh thing, but I'd never thought about it before) so I had to get a friend to pay for the flight with his card, but he wouldn't be able to do it until the next day, so thus, I had to wait.
Meanwhile, since I no longer am a student, the cafeteria will not accept my student ID to let me in to eat, so all I have to eat, since I have no transportation, is snack food that happened to be in my room: Chicken in a Biskit, Wheat Snacks, Lays Ruffles with Onion Dip, and a couple of boxes of 90 calorie Special K bars. So currently, I'm very hungry, and longing for a warm meal.
Yesterday, I got that checklist done, talking to financial aid (finding out we owe $310 and if it's not paid at some point, they won't send a transcript to any school I might transfer to, and getting some other important things done. I got my flight booked, even. Grandma called three times yesterday, and then today I found out that she'd called mom and started crying, sick with worry for me. When mom told me that today, I started crying. And then I just couldn't stop. I was crying because I hadn't said goodbye to my brother, and how abandoned he might feel. I was crying because there were a few people that I expected to hurt when I got into this, and was willing to accept that, and Grandma was not one of them. I was crying because my mother really does want what's best for me, but she just doesn't understand that I know that I need to do this. "I need to do this" being the ultimate "cop out answer", according to her.
And now, I'm worrying about the awful weather that I expected. There's a bunch of ice, and I don't know about delays. But otherwise, things are working out alright. And I'm just in constant prayer that they stay that way.
So now you know the whole story, well, as much as I was motivated to write. Or rather, you know the highlights. lol. So keep me in your thoughts. I don't know how often I'll be able to go online after another half an hour when I turn in my laptop.
I love you all, and I appreciate your ears and hearts!
~Megan
When I was at home over break, I was taking a lot of crap from my parents about finances. And it ended up in the position that they were going to have to refinance the house for my education...in only my second semester of college! For one thing, when I had moved from California, I was under the impression that in return for me going out there with them, they'd pay my way through school. No strings attached. Then when I get out here, Mom tells me I have to turn around after I graduate and pay them back for my education. Why should I do that? I mean, I'm here, in a place that I don't really want to be...I could've had a full scholarship at CSUB or something back home, and they drag me out here and put me in school (I mean I love the school and all, it's just...you know)and then tell me I'm going to end up paying for it anyway. I'd rather go out on my own and pay for a school that I want to go to than to be here and have to take shit from them about finances.
After coming to this conclusion, I decided that I wanted out. I wanted to go where I'd be happier. So I didn't have much money to my name, but I'd been trying to save. I almost flew out last weekend, on a whim, but was talked out of it. Much to the relief of my better half, Adam. So I was going to do this right. The plan became that I was going to move out somewhere in the area, get a full-time job, and save until early March.
Then I heard about this job with AmeriCorps that had opened up because of a position that hadn't been filled at the beginning of the term. I'd serve half a year there. So I applied for it, but I had to wait out the process, and wasn't sure what was going to happen, so I ended up back at school while I waited. I was interviewed on the phone on Monday, and found out Tuesday that I had been beaten out of the position by someone who was a regular volunteer and knew exactly what he was doing, and was local etc. (in so many words). Well I had my heart set on getting out there, now that the possibility had arisen, so I leaned on my background and accomplishments at McDonalds and decided to fly out there anyway and apply for an almost-guaranteed job, that will have me making more than the AmeriCorps job would've given me by far (although there are other benefits involved with AmeriCorps, not to mention the fact that you're helping people in need).
On Tuesday, I pulled out of my classes, and arranged things so that I could stay and keep my school-issued laptop until today, and explained that I'd be flying out on Saturday. I had arranged for temporary housing once I got out there, and was trying to keep the roommate I'll be staying with updated.
On Wednesday, my mother came to the school to bring things I'd left at home. As she stood outside my door (I was supposed to be in class) I heard her call my phone and leave a message. "Hey, I'm here. I was wondering if you wanted to meet me, or if not, just pick up your stuff outside your room. And by the way, your Aunt Ila called and she's saying some weird stuff about you, so you probably want to confirm or deny that...love you, bye." Before I left the room, I had someone come up here and check to make sure she was gone. I had to investigate, but somehow (my little informant cousin) my secret had gotten out. And now I had no choice but to clear it up. I called my Aunt to see what she had said, called my mom and told her where i was moving, and partially why (she figured out the other part). I lied to her and told her I got the job, even though I didn't. Saying I'm going to work at McDonald's makes me feel like I'm not doing anything with my life, but I know that's not the truth. It's only temporary. I was also finding out that you can't pay with anything but a card online for flights (you'd think that's a duh thing, but I'd never thought about it before) so I had to get a friend to pay for the flight with his card, but he wouldn't be able to do it until the next day, so thus, I had to wait.
Meanwhile, since I no longer am a student, the cafeteria will not accept my student ID to let me in to eat, so all I have to eat, since I have no transportation, is snack food that happened to be in my room: Chicken in a Biskit, Wheat Snacks, Lays Ruffles with Onion Dip, and a couple of boxes of 90 calorie Special K bars. So currently, I'm very hungry, and longing for a warm meal.
Yesterday, I got that checklist done, talking to financial aid (finding out we owe $310 and if it's not paid at some point, they won't send a transcript to any school I might transfer to, and getting some other important things done. I got my flight booked, even. Grandma called three times yesterday, and then today I found out that she'd called mom and started crying, sick with worry for me. When mom told me that today, I started crying. And then I just couldn't stop. I was crying because I hadn't said goodbye to my brother, and how abandoned he might feel. I was crying because there were a few people that I expected to hurt when I got into this, and was willing to accept that, and Grandma was not one of them. I was crying because my mother really does want what's best for me, but she just doesn't understand that I know that I need to do this. "I need to do this" being the ultimate "cop out answer", according to her.
And now, I'm worrying about the awful weather that I expected. There's a bunch of ice, and I don't know about delays. But otherwise, things are working out alright. And I'm just in constant prayer that they stay that way.
So now you know the whole story, well, as much as I was motivated to write. Or rather, you know the highlights. lol. So keep me in your thoughts. I don't know how often I'll be able to go online after another half an hour when I turn in my laptop.
I love you all, and I appreciate your ears and hearts!
~Megan