I believe, Mister Lister, that this an appropriate time to give me "five."

[infinitelyslick]

Characters: Abarai Renji, Kira Izuru, Pesche Gautiche
When: Pesche does not wear a watch, and Hueco Mundo is in eternal night. So, someday between the beginning of time and the end of time, at night.
Where: By a tree, in a desert.
Rating:Pesche Gautiche
Summary: Pineapple-head and Killer-achoo are trapped in a rectangle. PESCHE SAVES THEM BECAUSE

Comments

[howls_at_stars]

Heedless to Pesche's efforts (or discomfort), Renji scowled at Kira as he went off on another one of his self-deprecation parties, and he stopped walking a moment, putting his hands firmly on his hips.

"Well. There you go then," he said sternly, shaking his had and staring at Kira's back as the other captain moved ahead of him. "That's what it a~ll boils down to, ain't it. If only you didn't suck at being a captain, Kira, then all our problems would be solved--are you even hearing yourself?" A click of his tongue and Renji lifted one hand, waving it in the air. "Golly gee, Kira, it's really a fuckin' shame you're the only one who's a little overwhelmed by the way his responsibilities just received a violent shove into serious. It's just ridiculous that you're the only one who's fucked up a couple times. I can't believe that you, and only you, are actually having some issues swallowing the pill of captaincy."

He buffed his nails on the lapel of his own haori, then examined his fingertips, moving toward Kira then. He let his hand fall back to the himo at his hips, his palm resting over the pommel of his empty blade.

"I mean...I know I sure didn't take it too hard when my old Eighth Seat was a conspirator in kidnapping one of the Vaizards," he said haughtily. "And I certainly didn't feel personally responsible for the fact that a Vaizard officer whom I personally inducted into my ranks lost himself and attacked several officers, a few of which weren't even in my division." He blew a raspberry and knocked his fist against his own crown. "And...I mean it's not like I've taken over the division of a traitor or anything, like you have--oh, wait."

With that, Renji closed the distance between them and snapped up a fistful of Kira's haori, physically hefting the slender blond man off his feet and baring his teeth at him.

"Now you listen to me, Kira Izuru," he snarled, "and you listen good, cuz I don't wanna have to say this again. You are an excellent Shinigami, a superb officer, a damn fine captain, and one of the best friends I got. Without your help, I prolly would'a flunked kidou at the academy. Without your discretion, I prolly would'a gotten in shittons more trouble than I did when I ran off to try and take on Ichigo two and a half years ago. Without your friendship, I would have collapsed in on myself when Rukia walked out of my life and never become anything at all." He shook Kira briefly, then set him back down, but didn't release his uniform. "Without your leadership, the Third Division would have fallen apart when Ichimaru turned coat--do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to try and pick up the pieces of a Division whose acting captain spent two years mourning the loss of a traitor instead of leading her troops? Do you have any fucking clue how goddamn terrified I was of the number I now wear on my back, Kira? Because if you think for one second that you're too weak to do this, then we're all fucking doomed and the Gotei might as well fall on their swords now and save Aizen the trouble of lifting a finger to crush us beneath it, because I know I speak for more than just myself when I say that you and Hisagi are a fucking inspiration after what happened."

He shoved Kira backward roughly, sending him staggering a step or two in the sand, and his hand dropped back to his sword.

"Now if you wanna stand there and tell me you're a worthless do-nothing captain who can't lead his own people, then you're gonna have to cut me down and make me," he growled, "because I don't wanna fuckin' hear it." He scoffed roughly. "I oughhta fuckin' box your ears good for this one. Now are we gonna go bring your man home and put him to rest in good company, or are you gonna lie down and die next to him?"