Horror movies and books, that's all there is to my personality
For some reason I got it in my head to watch all 500 movies on the Top 500 Horror Movies list on icheckmovies? I don't know why, because it's still really strange to me that I like horror movies at all, and I think like might be too strong a term. When I was about 11-ish I watched Scream for the first time and had nightmares about Ghostface for months afterwards. I was completely convinced that horror movies were a no-no for me until I was in high school. I think the defining moment came, however, when I was 21 and my roommate dragged me to see Hostel 2 and despite my fears, I ended up snorting my way through the entire movie. To be fair, the plot of that one was fairly obvious though.
I think my fascination with horror movies isn't because I like them. In many cases, they're boring, completely trope overloaded, and just plain stupid, but somehow I get this feeling of vindication every time I watch one and I'm not frightened. I've come to love horror movies because I love that feeling, that I've somehow bested something. And I'm still looking for movies that will scare me, because so far I've seen, uh... one.
Anyway. A short run-through of the movies on that list I have seen.
2. Evil Dead 1 -- good, but the second one was better.
3. Carrie -- eh. It was really short and the mom was scary.
4. King-Kong -- a hundred fucking years ago on tv of all places. It was weird.
6. Halloween -- good lord, snore.
7. Alien -- slow, psychological horror isn't my thing. But the aliens look like armored penises, so that's always fun.
10. Nosferatu (1922) -- also on tv. What the fuck have I been watching?
11. Psycho -- I don't care that Norman Bates is fucked in the head, I still want to pinch his cheeks.
12. Night of the Living Dead -- the ending was fucked, man.
14. The Birds -- oh, god, I love this movie beyond the telling. Also, I want Tippi Hedren's hair. And name.
18. Dawn of the Dead -- interesting in parts, but zombies do nothing for me.
19. An American Werewolf in London -- a supernatural romantic comedy pretending to be horror. Spoiler: it's not.
20. Scream -- fuck you, Ghostface. I love this movie, though.
21. Jaws -- "We're gonna need a bigger boat." Captain whatshisface from Seacrest is in it!
26. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre -- decent. Better than most horror flicks from this era, if you ask me.
27. Poltergeist -- it's been a million years, but I still think the Native American burial ground thing is stupid.
32. The Shining, Kubrick version -- I like this movie, but the book is so much better.
34. A Nightmare on Elm Street -- again, fucking snore.
36. The Howling -- of all the stupid werewolf movies I have seen, this one may take the cake.
37. 28 Days Later -- hugblughgubhgh. *shudder*
38. Rosemary's Baby -- mostly weird. Made me write really strange pregnancy stories for a while.
42. The Fly -- OH MY GOD NEVER WATCH THIS IT IS THE MOST HORRIFYING MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I CRIED AND I COULDN'T SLEEP. Good, though.
46. The Exorcist -- snoozefest. The effects are good though, for the era.
47. Hellraiser -- gory as all gets out. All I remember is Pinhead and lumps of flesh in the attic.
48. Ginger Snaps -- strange, but pretty decent for a werewolf flick. Also, fangirl!Becky is in it!
50. The Omen -- mmmm, Gregory Peck.
51. The Candyman -- love it like I love pie.
58. The Thing -- creepy as shit. IT ATE THE DOGS.
64. The Silence of the Lambs -- uh, I like it? WHO DOESN'T.
67. Evil Dead II -- THE HAND, THE EVIL HAND. I also love this like I love pie. Best of the three if you ask me.
68. The Sixth Sense -- it has Toni Collette in it. That gives it all the A+ in my book.
78. The Fog -- not very interesting.
84. Jacob's Ladder -- Tim Robbins is good. The rest of the movie, not so much.
86. The Wicker Man -- Christopher Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Mostly boring, but the ending is fabulous.
90. Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness -- eh, it was okay.
91. From Dusk Till Dawn -- uh, Quentin Tarantino is creepy and the vampires are stupid, but it was entertaining?
92. Final Destination -- would have been better without the sequel hook. Also, if it made sense.
93. The Last House on the Left -- the parents were awesome and all horror movies should end like that.
95. Aliens -- better than the first one, I thought. "It's game over, man!"
96. Let the Right One In -- ugh. Read the book instead, the movie blows.
105. Se7en -- I liked the murders, go figure. He was inventive!
106. American Psycho -- the scene where Jared Leto gets whacked made my life. He should always get deaded in movies.
117. The Others -- I didn't know about the twist, and I liked it.
118. The Mist -- not so much horror as GUT-WRENCHING SADNESS AND ANGST AND WOE BETIDE.
119. Eraserhead -- uh... nope, still don't get it.
135. Session 9 -- I was wondering where that David Caruso gif came from. Pretty good.
141. Cloverfield -- Lizzie Caplan is in it, enough said. Love, pie.
142. Saw -- the first ten minutes are awesome, followed by two hours of monotony.
148. Opera -- watch it. The ending is... mildly odd, but it's really good.
150. Child's Play -- Grima Wormtongue IS... Chucky! Yeah, I like it. All of them.
152. The Blair Witch Project -- eh. I was bored.
170. The Serpent and the Rainbow -- it's about Haiti! I liked it.
173. Planet Terror -- uh, melty soldiers and Rose McGowan. It could be worse?
174. Predator -- ahahahaha, HILARIOUS. Oh, Ahnuld, you so sweaty.
184. New Nightmare -- ugh. Same old.
185. The Ring -- decent, nothing to write home about.
186. Shaun of the Dead -- made me so depressed I cried. Still not sure why.
189. Cannibal Holocaust -- if you value your sanity, stay away. It's so bad it's horrible. Also rage inducing.
206. My Bloody Valentine -- I think I may enjoy the remake more. It has Jensen Ackles in it.
213. The Lost Boys -- decent. Was there a plot?
225. Phenomena -- whoever said Kristen Stewart was wooden had never taken a gander at Jennifer Connely in this.
228. Interview with the Vampire -- well. It's Anne Rice, and this is the only Lestat I can handle. Possibly the only movie I like Tom Cruise in.
246. Cube -- fantastic and has David Hewlett in it.
247. Sweeney Todd -- you'd think I'd love it, but I got really bored somewhere around the seaside bit.
252. Sleepy Hollow -- TIM BURTON MOVIE OF MY HEART.
255. The Stepfather -- pretty good. Locke was good in it.
256. House of a 1000 Corpses -- not very scary, but entertaining. Also, the soundtrack is good.
260. War of the Worlds (1953) -- love. it. like. pie. It is anticlimactic, though.
266. Dracula (1979) -- Van Helsing is the only thing good about this movie. STOP ROMANTICIZING MY DRACULA YOU ASSHOLES!
275. Sleepaway Camp -- so bad it's hilarious.
304. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors -- everyone keeps telling me this is the good one? I was bored.
305. Hellbound: Hellraiser II -- this is the one where the wall opens up, right? In the hospital? I don't remember. I watched three of them and I liked them.
315. Scanners -- so horrible it's entertaining.
322. Pan's Labyrinth -- the scene with the bottle to the face still remains with me. *shudder*
347. Jurassic Park -- what are you even doing on this list?
357. Q -- snore.
358. Dracula (1992) -- look, I just want Dracula to be evil, not misunderstood and lonely. Blech. Not even Gary Oldman can save this.
367. It -- TIM CURRY! I LOVE YOU TIM CURRY! I love that clown, for serious. Like pie.
372. Resident Evil -- guilty pleasure. Also, one of the few movies on this list that passes the Bechdel test.
381. Young Frankenstein -- it's been a million years. I need to rewatch it.
385. The Crow -- I... like the tv-series with Mark Dacascos better, tbh. *hangs head*
393. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941) -- read the book.
427. Paperhouse -- strange and forgettable.
428. Beetlejuice -- DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY-OH! Scared the bejeesus out of me as a kid.
432. The Faculty -- again, love it like pie. It's hilarious.
455. The Puppetmaster -- it took me a really long time to remember what this one was about. I think that says it all.
485. April Fool's Day -- I thought it was really funny, actually. Stupid, but entertaining.
I think my fascination with horror movies isn't because I like them. In many cases, they're boring, completely trope overloaded, and just plain stupid, but somehow I get this feeling of vindication every time I watch one and I'm not frightened. I've come to love horror movies because I love that feeling, that I've somehow bested something. And I'm still looking for movies that will scare me, because so far I've seen, uh... one.
Anyway. A short run-through of the movies on that list I have seen.
2. Evil Dead 1 -- good, but the second one was better.
3. Carrie -- eh. It was really short and the mom was scary.
4. King-Kong -- a hundred fucking years ago on tv of all places. It was weird.
6. Halloween -- good lord, snore.
7. Alien -- slow, psychological horror isn't my thing. But the aliens look like armored penises, so that's always fun.
10. Nosferatu (1922) -- also on tv. What the fuck have I been watching?
11. Psycho -- I don't care that Norman Bates is fucked in the head, I still want to pinch his cheeks.
12. Night of the Living Dead -- the ending was fucked, man.
14. The Birds -- oh, god, I love this movie beyond the telling. Also, I want Tippi Hedren's hair. And name.
18. Dawn of the Dead -- interesting in parts, but zombies do nothing for me.
19. An American Werewolf in London -- a supernatural romantic comedy pretending to be horror. Spoiler: it's not.
20. Scream -- fuck you, Ghostface. I love this movie, though.
21. Jaws -- "We're gonna need a bigger boat." Captain whatshisface from Seacrest is in it!
26. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre -- decent. Better than most horror flicks from this era, if you ask me.
27. Poltergeist -- it's been a million years, but I still think the Native American burial ground thing is stupid.
32. The Shining, Kubrick version -- I like this movie, but the book is so much better.
34. A Nightmare on Elm Street -- again, fucking snore.
36. The Howling -- of all the stupid werewolf movies I have seen, this one may take the cake.
37. 28 Days Later -- hugblughgubhgh. *shudder*
38. Rosemary's Baby -- mostly weird. Made me write really strange pregnancy stories for a while.
42. The Fly -- OH MY GOD NEVER WATCH THIS IT IS THE MOST HORRIFYING MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I CRIED AND I COULDN'T SLEEP. Good, though.
46. The Exorcist -- snoozefest. The effects are good though, for the era.
47. Hellraiser -- gory as all gets out. All I remember is Pinhead and lumps of flesh in the attic.
48. Ginger Snaps -- strange, but pretty decent for a werewolf flick. Also, fangirl!Becky is in it!
50. The Omen -- mmmm, Gregory Peck.
51. The Candyman -- love it like I love pie.
58. The Thing -- creepy as shit. IT ATE THE DOGS.
64. The Silence of the Lambs -- uh, I like it? WHO DOESN'T.
67. Evil Dead II -- THE HAND, THE EVIL HAND. I also love this like I love pie. Best of the three if you ask me.
68. The Sixth Sense -- it has Toni Collette in it. That gives it all the A+ in my book.
78. The Fog -- not very interesting.
84. Jacob's Ladder -- Tim Robbins is good. The rest of the movie, not so much.
86. The Wicker Man -- Christopher Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Mostly boring, but the ending is fabulous.
90. Evil Dead III: Army of Darkness -- eh, it was okay.
91. From Dusk Till Dawn -- uh, Quentin Tarantino is creepy and the vampires are stupid, but it was entertaining?
92. Final Destination -- would have been better without the sequel hook. Also, if it made sense.
93. The Last House on the Left -- the parents were awesome and all horror movies should end like that.
95. Aliens -- better than the first one, I thought. "It's game over, man!"
96. Let the Right One In -- ugh. Read the book instead, the movie blows.
105. Se7en -- I liked the murders, go figure. He was inventive!
106. American Psycho -- the scene where Jared Leto gets whacked made my life. He should always get deaded in movies.
117. The Others -- I didn't know about the twist, and I liked it.
118. The Mist -- not so much horror as GUT-WRENCHING SADNESS AND ANGST AND WOE BETIDE.
119. Eraserhead -- uh... nope, still don't get it.
135. Session 9 -- I was wondering where that David Caruso gif came from. Pretty good.
141. Cloverfield -- Lizzie Caplan is in it, enough said. Love, pie.
142. Saw -- the first ten minutes are awesome, followed by two hours of monotony.
148. Opera -- watch it. The ending is... mildly odd, but it's really good.
150. Child's Play -- Grima Wormtongue IS... Chucky! Yeah, I like it. All of them.
152. The Blair Witch Project -- eh. I was bored.
170. The Serpent and the Rainbow -- it's about Haiti! I liked it.
173. Planet Terror -- uh, melty soldiers and Rose McGowan. It could be worse?
174. Predator -- ahahahaha, HILARIOUS. Oh, Ahnuld, you so sweaty.
184. New Nightmare -- ugh. Same old.
185. The Ring -- decent, nothing to write home about.
186. Shaun of the Dead -- made me so depressed I cried. Still not sure why.
189. Cannibal Holocaust -- if you value your sanity, stay away. It's so bad it's horrible. Also rage inducing.
206. My Bloody Valentine -- I think I may enjoy the remake more. It has Jensen Ackles in it.
213. The Lost Boys -- decent. Was there a plot?
225. Phenomena -- whoever said Kristen Stewart was wooden had never taken a gander at Jennifer Connely in this.
228. Interview with the Vampire -- well. It's Anne Rice, and this is the only Lestat I can handle. Possibly the only movie I like Tom Cruise in.
246. Cube -- fantastic and has David Hewlett in it.
247. Sweeney Todd -- you'd think I'd love it, but I got really bored somewhere around the seaside bit.
252. Sleepy Hollow -- TIM BURTON MOVIE OF MY HEART.
255. The Stepfather -- pretty good. Locke was good in it.
256. House of a 1000 Corpses -- not very scary, but entertaining. Also, the soundtrack is good.
260. War of the Worlds (1953) -- love. it. like. pie. It is anticlimactic, though.
266. Dracula (1979) -- Van Helsing is the only thing good about this movie. STOP ROMANTICIZING MY DRACULA YOU ASSHOLES!
275. Sleepaway Camp -- so bad it's hilarious.
304. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors -- everyone keeps telling me this is the good one? I was bored.
305. Hellbound: Hellraiser II -- this is the one where the wall opens up, right? In the hospital? I don't remember. I watched three of them and I liked them.
315. Scanners -- so horrible it's entertaining.
322. Pan's Labyrinth -- the scene with the bottle to the face still remains with me. *shudder*
347. Jurassic Park -- what are you even doing on this list?
357. Q -- snore.
358. Dracula (1992) -- look, I just want Dracula to be evil, not misunderstood and lonely. Blech. Not even Gary Oldman can save this.
367. It -- TIM CURRY! I LOVE YOU TIM CURRY! I love that clown, for serious. Like pie.
372. Resident Evil -- guilty pleasure. Also, one of the few movies on this list that passes the Bechdel test.
381. Young Frankenstein -- it's been a million years. I need to rewatch it.
385. The Crow -- I... like the tv-series with Mark Dacascos better, tbh. *hangs head*
393. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941) -- read the book.
427. Paperhouse -- strange and forgettable.
428. Beetlejuice -- DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY-OH! Scared the bejeesus out of me as a kid.
432. The Faculty -- again, love it like pie. It's hilarious.
455. The Puppetmaster -- it took me a really long time to remember what this one was about. I think that says it all.
485. April Fool's Day -- I thought it was really funny, actually. Stupid, but entertaining.