Spare me
When you see this, post ten things you love about your hometown, your homestate/province, home country, etc.
Uh. I suppose Ullatti, then.
1. Midnight sun
2. Few streetlights, so perfect view of the stars
3. Northern lights
4. Lots of greenery; it's beautiful.
5. Nearby water.
6. Pretty close to the best burger joint in a hundred mile radius.
7. Close to Pajala market in summer.
8. Our house, which is the best house.
9. Mountain just next door.
10. Fresh water.
I've taken some interest in NCIS lately, so I started looking for Tony/Ziva fanfic. I figured that since it's one of the most obvious het ships (if even I can see it) there would be a lot of fic, right? Wrong. NCIS fandom as a whole is pretty small, as it turns out. I did find this forum type thing that is fun to read if for nothing else that they're freaking out over shit I've already figured out, but. Man. I mean, perfectly nice girls, yet they STILL can't spell "extremely". Or "definitely". Argh, kill, kill.
Not to mention the "Tiva" (allow me to gag) douchebaggery -- "our ship is the only valid ship, I hate Jeanne because she gets in the way of our Tiva love, oh, every scene between Tony and Jeanne makes me puke, can't he just break up with her and get together with Ziva now, Jeanne can die or something." Grah. Although, I suppose a shippy thread is the right place to get your aggressions out. Still annoying though. Come on. Nausea? REALLY? Oh, grow up.
I spoke to my mother for almost an hour today, and then my sister for about an hour and a half. We were candid, at least mama and I, for the first time in a really long time. I had to fight for it, had to fight to stay honest, and I was shaking and teary-eyed by the end of it, but I did it, I was honest with her, and I'm kind of proud of that. And the best part was that she actually got what I was saying, to a certain extent. I think she may have understood that my problems are emotional responses that really have nothing to do with logic or reason, and that was a relief. I thought there would be drama, but I think my recent breakdown was an eyeopener for all of us.
Though she does keep regretting that nobody noticed this sooner. Like back in fifth grade, for example. I think she blames herself, but hindsight is 20-20. She blames herself a little for not noticing anything this summer either -- she knew I didn't want to go back to school, and she was like, "god, and we forced you to go back". I think she's a little afraid of what might have happened.
There was some discussion too, with her -- my mom is kind of harsh, so that was tough. She asked me if it was difficult and I told her yes, but I need to face it. I told this to my sister, but I said that this is kind of a soft start. "Uh-oh," she said. "Dare I ask what comes next, when we dig deeper?" I have no idea.
My sister told me that I'm a fighter, and that there is no way in hell I'm going to give up now. She believes in me. I'm my mother's daughter. I have to repeat this to myself -- I'm my mother's daughter, I'm my mother's daughter. I can be strong for her. I can be strong for me, difficult though it may be.
My sister also said that this is good for us, the my talking about things. She said I'm easier to talk to, I'm not aggressively cheerful and shallow all the time anymore. It's easier to talk about serious things, when I'm not desperately trying to dodge anything to do with maturity.
Anyway, it worked out okay. I'm buying bananas today and making chicken-curry pizza with pineapple (can't make curry pizza without bananas, people, it would be blasphemy). And then I'm sleeping some, because Jesus. Snore.
Uh. I suppose Ullatti, then.
1. Midnight sun
2. Few streetlights, so perfect view of the stars
3. Northern lights
4. Lots of greenery; it's beautiful.
5. Nearby water.
6. Pretty close to the best burger joint in a hundred mile radius.
7. Close to Pajala market in summer.
8. Our house, which is the best house.
9. Mountain just next door.
10. Fresh water.
I've taken some interest in NCIS lately, so I started looking for Tony/Ziva fanfic. I figured that since it's one of the most obvious het ships (if even I can see it) there would be a lot of fic, right? Wrong. NCIS fandom as a whole is pretty small, as it turns out. I did find this forum type thing that is fun to read if for nothing else that they're freaking out over shit I've already figured out, but. Man. I mean, perfectly nice girls, yet they STILL can't spell "extremely". Or "definitely". Argh, kill, kill.
Not to mention the "Tiva" (allow me to gag) douchebaggery -- "our ship is the only valid ship, I hate Jeanne because she gets in the way of our Tiva love, oh, every scene between Tony and Jeanne makes me puke, can't he just break up with her and get together with Ziva now, Jeanne can die or something." Grah. Although, I suppose a shippy thread is the right place to get your aggressions out. Still annoying though. Come on. Nausea? REALLY? Oh, grow up.
I spoke to my mother for almost an hour today, and then my sister for about an hour and a half. We were candid, at least mama and I, for the first time in a really long time. I had to fight for it, had to fight to stay honest, and I was shaking and teary-eyed by the end of it, but I did it, I was honest with her, and I'm kind of proud of that. And the best part was that she actually got what I was saying, to a certain extent. I think she may have understood that my problems are emotional responses that really have nothing to do with logic or reason, and that was a relief. I thought there would be drama, but I think my recent breakdown was an eyeopener for all of us.
Though she does keep regretting that nobody noticed this sooner. Like back in fifth grade, for example. I think she blames herself, but hindsight is 20-20. She blames herself a little for not noticing anything this summer either -- she knew I didn't want to go back to school, and she was like, "god, and we forced you to go back". I think she's a little afraid of what might have happened.
There was some discussion too, with her -- my mom is kind of harsh, so that was tough. She asked me if it was difficult and I told her yes, but I need to face it. I told this to my sister, but I said that this is kind of a soft start. "Uh-oh," she said. "Dare I ask what comes next, when we dig deeper?" I have no idea.
My sister told me that I'm a fighter, and that there is no way in hell I'm going to give up now. She believes in me. I'm my mother's daughter. I have to repeat this to myself -- I'm my mother's daughter, I'm my mother's daughter. I can be strong for her. I can be strong for me, difficult though it may be.
My sister also said that this is good for us, the my talking about things. She said I'm easier to talk to, I'm not aggressively cheerful and shallow all the time anymore. It's easier to talk about serious things, when I'm not desperately trying to dodge anything to do with maturity.
Anyway, it worked out okay. I'm buying bananas today and making chicken-curry pizza with pineapple (can't make curry pizza without bananas, people, it would be blasphemy). And then I'm sleeping some, because Jesus. Snore.