Writing filter: On the subject of Guarders, or I've never written a character that wasn't crazy

Oct 01, 2008 19:40

I'm procrastinating on my grammar homework, so of course what I'll do instead is to write a Thing entry. I felt it long overdue for me to tell y'all a little something about the kind at the center of my story, namely the Guarders.

The Guarders are some of my favorite people, mainly because they're kind of a race of their own, in a sense. Guarders are people of all species, races and creeds, but they have more in common with their fellow Guarders than they have with the species or race they were born as. People are afraid of them mostly because the Guarders are only governed by themselves. They have their own code of conduct, they have their own rules and laws and judges and in many cases, their laws and your laws? Are not the same. In fact, they'll likely not even be in the same universe as yours.

The thing with Guarders is that there is inevitably a certain person that will educate themselves to become one. These people, they're different than their peers, some more than others, of course. The thing is, being a Guarder is something you're born to do, there is nothing you can do to stop the impulses. It's one of the reasons the Starchildren are such fans of taking Guarder lovers. They have stamina and they're pretty serious about this sex thing.

The history of the Guarders is pretty interesting. Research has shown that most, if not all, Guarders show signs of a minuscule mutation of the reptile brain. It's not entirely clear whether or not this is the full reason (Guarders are notoriously cranky and unwilling objects of scientific study, and the last one they did tests on got fed up with them and broke the head scientists arm), but it is obviously a part of why Guarders are such consistently vicious warriors. Most Guarders wouldn't hesitate to break your fingers if you annoyed them, ever so slightly, and would possibly only feel a slight pang of regret at having to kill you. There has been heated debates whether or not this behavior has biological or social causes -- nature versus nurture, as it were.

The truth is that it's possibly a bit of both. The very first Guarders were in fact mercenaries, criminals and rogues whose crimes were not serious enough to warrant a death sentence, but nevertheless needed some kind of disciplinary action. After that, things just went boom and now the Guarders are a sizable part of the universal population, to be found on almost every planet and satellite in almost every galaxy.

All Guarders are educated at the Guarder Academies of the universe, of which there are seven. The majority of these Guarders start their education at a pretty early age -- Shea and his cronies started when they were eight, for example. Violent and/or difficult to handle children are taken under examination -- something more mundane as the outer space version of ADD, or in fact Guarder material? Most parents -- save for possibly the poor because education is mostly free, while medication is not -- pray for the former.

Over the millennia there has been a prevailing attitude that having a Guarder in the family is something shameful, especially among the nobility. Some of them tried to hide the problem away -- i.e. locking the child away somewhere -- which inevitably would only make the whole damn thing worse, others would smuggle their children into Academies under false names or hire Guarder private teachers. There's a lot of fear and discrimination against Guarders still, but this is disappearing, slowly but surely.

One of the few families that has always been positive towards Guarders is the Thompsons, i.e. the Emperor line (a.k.a. Kamion and Shea's family on the paternal side). The Thompson elders have always given their children a basic Guarder education, mostly for self-defense and thus the Imperial family has always enjoyed pretty good relations with the Masterguarder (i.e. the King/Queen/Whatever of Guarders) and that line.

The Guarders are, as I already stated, governed by the Masterguarder. Now the Masterguarder is to the Guarders pretty much what the American President is to the American armed forces, except less dumb and on a MUCH bigger scale. The Masterguarder post isn't technically hereditary, but eventual children are still named Heir to the throne, mostly because they are usually the most qualified Guarders around -- good genes and all that. The current Masterguarder is Kamion, of course, and his wife's, Leia, official title is Her Majesty the Guardess. There is an ancient law stating that the Masterguarder can only marry a qualified Guarder, which has been known to put a crimp on previous Masterguarders. Let's just say there has been a parade of more or less official Madame Pompadour-esque lovers standing by the throne over the years -- there was one memorable case where the Masterguarder was involved in a pretty damn serious relationship with an elementary school teacher, but the resulting child was never named heir because of its bastard status. Big hooplah about that.

Anyway, now for the pictorial part of this post. Some of these you've already seen, fair warning.




This is, of course, the Guarder uniform. I don't know if you can clearly see the badge on her chest, but it is the one on the right there. I would like to point out that Guarders stationed at The Palace doesn't have that first color stripe at all, since the Palace officially doesn't belong to any galaxy jurisdiction whatsoever. sugarcubeworld was the one to suggest the colors for the field operator status stripe. Thanks a lot, bb!



The official seal of the Academy. It can be found on all official documents and declarations, etc. and also on the school uniforms of the various Academies (which I would show you, except the ones I've drawn are all fugly). The school uniforms however have specific versions of this seal -- the Palace Academy uniforms have a little crown above the star, for example, while the Tobokai Academy has seven moons circling it, and so on.



This is what the Palace Academy doors look like -- and the seal, right there -- which is possibly a very weird thing to draw, but I've had these doors in my head for almost as long as the Palace itself, so.



Some vaguely official-lookin' document. Shea's diploma from graduating, I just whipped something up in Publisher so this is just an approximation. Also the dates are all wrong. But Adarius Warg and Hadara Dorma are still hanging around.



Seriously blurry, I know, but this is what Shea's old schedule looked like -- a different color for every subject. It doesn't quite anymore -- I expanded the number of years they go to school, for one thing, and for another I've learned to lesson plan, but they have a shitload of classes at very advanced levels. I have it written down somewhere how much they're required to know by the time they graduate -- Guarders are reportedly better off if they have something to occupy their minds and hands with -- and it's pretty heavy.

Ah, yes, I found the paper. It says that there are 26 subjects, but of these only 15 are mandatory and of these subjects (and however many besides the obligatory 15 you choose) "At least 25% of the Academy topics must be read [...] to grant a full Diploma. At least 5 languages must be spoken fluently and a reasonable knowledge of at least 3 others is required."

Maybe I should point out that they have about 14 grades? They have a lot of time to learn this crap, believe you me. The basics are taught from ages 8-13 approximately, but most new Guarder children have usually learned to count and spell before they get there.

Furthermore, the very same paper also states that the school year is divided thusly:
"Spring break after the Spring Equinox; 2 weeks
Winter break between Winter Equinox and New Years; 3 weeks
Parent days 4 times a year."

It also makes it very clear that "School uniform is required at all times during the school day." However, they have no rules against religious symbols or against body modification (piercings or tattoos), since there are so many races that will decorate their children at an early age anyway.

Wow. I'd forgotten how rigorous these people are. Now, I should point out that this is the Palacian Academy's way of handling things. They do things differently in other Academies, have other specialties. The Palacian Academy is known for producing the finest officers, while the Tobokai Academy is known for their excellent spies and the Neran Academy is known for their gearheads, for example. The Palace Academy is nowhere near as strict as the Academy of the Grey Galaxies -- seriously, those people barely have any days off.

Next time... I don't know. Suggest something to me! Something you're curious about? Something that I explained badly that confused the fuck out of you? Something you want to hear more about? Characters, geography, mythology, religions, history, anything at all, please!

procrastinating in a big way, mythos, guarders, picspam, geekery, writing filter, the original fic thing i'm kinda writing

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