(no subject)
Looking on all the things I've written or sworn to in the past, and how differently I feel now on those same issues/people/experiances.... I'm forced to notice my own growth... and my own failure. Reading this list of "things I will never get over" really shocked me. Because so many of those things, I am over. I hardly think about. I've had closure or I've moved on. It makes me realize that nothing in life is certain. The one's who say they'll always be there most likely wont. That one thing you swear you'll never do might be the most appealing decision later on. The things that hold you down and keep you from moving on will, one day, be light enough to toss away. And the problems, stresses, and dramas of now will eventually be so irrelevant when compared to the rest of your life that you may have trouble even remembering them. It's strange how someone who is your life today might be nothing more than a faded memory later on. And it's almost inconceivable how the huge life crises's that we all go through will actually be over. Those crises's that kept me up worrying, crying, and sick to my stomach are almost too far away to reconnect with.
Thinking of all this makes me realize that the continuous movement of life is the only thing you have to rely on. People will disappoint you, major plans will fall through, your life will at times feel like it's falling apart. But luckily, everything keeps pressing on, even when you wish it wouldn't. And because of this, the bad times pass. Yeah, the good times pass as well, but it's the times of struggle that help form us. And it's the truly unbearable times that make us appreciate the times of peace and happiness even more.
I've changed, I've grown, and I'm still changing. Some things about me have changed for the better, and some for the worse. But regardless, I'm continuing to press on. I'll never let go of my past, but I won't let it hold me down either. I can't be scared of taking risks because of other things I've gone through. Because, luckily, you learn from each experience and mistake. So, just because it didn't work out one way doesn't mean it's all going to end the same way the next time youre in a similar situation.
I guess, basically, everything you go through can be a learning experience. Even the worst situation possible... because I've been through some crazy shit, can be turned into atleast something kind of positive. My whole thing is if you let the bad experiences stay simply bad experiences, then it all is just a waste. Dating that person was a waste of time, having that job or taking that risk.. it was all just a useless amount of time. But if you take the bad things, the mistakes, the times you wish had never happened, and learn even the smallest lesson or learn even the smallest bit about yourself, it all suddenly wasn't a waste at all. So every experience I have, I try and learn something. Because quite honestly, I refuse to waste my time. And I refuse to hate. And I refuse to ever look back and think, "There is absolutely nothing good about that period in my life." You only live once, and I won't let any of my life be considered a waste. So, here's to taking risks, here's to learning how to live with your past, and here's to a rocky, exciting, at times horrible and all together wonderful future.
Thinking of all this makes me realize that the continuous movement of life is the only thing you have to rely on. People will disappoint you, major plans will fall through, your life will at times feel like it's falling apart. But luckily, everything keeps pressing on, even when you wish it wouldn't. And because of this, the bad times pass. Yeah, the good times pass as well, but it's the times of struggle that help form us. And it's the truly unbearable times that make us appreciate the times of peace and happiness even more.
I've changed, I've grown, and I'm still changing. Some things about me have changed for the better, and some for the worse. But regardless, I'm continuing to press on. I'll never let go of my past, but I won't let it hold me down either. I can't be scared of taking risks because of other things I've gone through. Because, luckily, you learn from each experience and mistake. So, just because it didn't work out one way doesn't mean it's all going to end the same way the next time youre in a similar situation.
I guess, basically, everything you go through can be a learning experience. Even the worst situation possible... because I've been through some crazy shit, can be turned into atleast something kind of positive. My whole thing is if you let the bad experiences stay simply bad experiences, then it all is just a waste. Dating that person was a waste of time, having that job or taking that risk.. it was all just a useless amount of time. But if you take the bad things, the mistakes, the times you wish had never happened, and learn even the smallest lesson or learn even the smallest bit about yourself, it all suddenly wasn't a waste at all. So every experience I have, I try and learn something. Because quite honestly, I refuse to waste my time. And I refuse to hate. And I refuse to ever look back and think, "There is absolutely nothing good about that period in my life." You only live once, and I won't let any of my life be considered a waste. So, here's to taking risks, here's to learning how to live with your past, and here's to a rocky, exciting, at times horrible and all together wonderful future.