(no subject)
i am falling apart, a tight rope tied me up but the knot is fraying, the peices are pulling apart and i'm falling falling falling,
i don't know where i don't know why i don't know how.
i got written up at work today and cried.
why is everyone so mean? why do i always feel like people should be nice to me just because they can tell i am sad? they probably just think i am pathetic and spoiled.
why am i so fucking sad? why do i want to do something terribly crazy.
pack all my shit and vanish, somewhere that no one will ever find me. drink myself crazy or OD on enough drugs to die, peacefully...
drive the car the wrong way on the highway, but there's no fuel in my fire for hurting someone else.
more than anything. the hunger. the hunger is back.
the hunger for itself. pretzels and a chocolate bar and i haven't been able to eat since then, yesterday morning.
i don't want to, anymore. i feel so out of control.
no matter how hard i try to organize my life, myself, my emotions, the world,
it's all so spinning and grinding out of control.
i don't know where i don't know why i don't know how.
i got written up at work today and cried.
why is everyone so mean? why do i always feel like people should be nice to me just because they can tell i am sad? they probably just think i am pathetic and spoiled.
why am i so fucking sad? why do i want to do something terribly crazy.
pack all my shit and vanish, somewhere that no one will ever find me. drink myself crazy or OD on enough drugs to die, peacefully...
drive the car the wrong way on the highway, but there's no fuel in my fire for hurting someone else.
more than anything. the hunger. the hunger is back.
the hunger for itself. pretzels and a chocolate bar and i haven't been able to eat since then, yesterday morning.
i don't want to, anymore. i feel so out of control.
no matter how hard i try to organize my life, myself, my emotions, the world,
it's all so spinning and grinding out of control.