Long time coming but it's fianlly here!
I don't even know where to begin. So many things have changed in my life. My family, my friends (or lack of friends), my jobs, my life. It's just been one crazy rollercoaster of of highs and lows. A bi-polar mish-mash of expeareances. Seriously can't even explain. I suppose all I need to say is that I'm happier now.
It's taken a long time, like a really long time for me to finally be able to say that but it's finally true now. I'm happy. The main problem in my life now is money. But, like really, that's it. But, believe me, it's been a long, hard drawn out battle that's butt raped me a few times before I finally claimed victory.
It's all different now. And I do mean everything. I'm a totally different person. I did a total personality rehaul and I've never really looked back. I have a total new group of friends now and I totally am enjoying everying minute of it. I love it! I go out at least twice a week now and the people are actually happy to see me.
I feel like I'm finally "normal". It's a great feeling.
I live with my sister now, who has been divorced for almost a year now. We have a great house together and I help her raise her two kids (which have become my two kids as well), we even have a great dane. The lack of privcacy sometimes still gets to me but I'm working on it.
My life is much more chill than it ever has been before.
Oh! I've decided to go back to school, finally. Yeah, I'm sick of working jobs I hate. I want to get my Ph.D in Lit and major in English. I want to teach kids over-seas English. I start in the spring. I'm really excited for it.
Its been twenty-three years in the making but I feel like I've finally become okay with myself and my place in this crazy fucked up world. I still get down on myself but it happens less and less. (I've dropped forty pounds, btw) Somethings, I don't know if they'll ever change but I'm pretty okay with that right now.
Lesson of the last year: Change is painful. Period. But changing for the better is always going to be worth the pain. Take it one day at a time, it's going to take time. And sometimes, the best choice is going to be the hardest. But don't worry, things will get better. There is a light at the end of the dark tunnel and the sky is just beyond that.
~Che