On my run-in with the scientologists...
Boy howdy, a three and a half hour drive that usually lasts 2 hours really drains a man's energy. Man...man...man... I'm pretty effin tired right now.
About scientologists: they're a whacky bunch. I visited their church on Montgomery St. after some coffee in North Beach and learned this up close and personal. I did a stress test. I said my name was Charlie Rudolph. I talked about my manager -- tom -- who was a 'douche' and wouldn't let me work enough hours. Apparently this caused me 'stress' which was easily read by their mind-energy-reading machine. It was special.
then
I watched a screening of The Evolution of a Science. Here's Charlie's one-word review: unfuckingbelievable. Synopsis: The film--very well produced, btw...thanks hollywood--starts off in the 40s with a young boy playing football with his father. Upbeat jazz music plays in the background. Then we see this little boy grow into a young man...a college football player in the 1950s. It's the big game! He's going for the big catch...oh SHIT...he's hit! He's down. He aint movin'. Damn...he's paralyzed from the waist down. His dreams are ruined...forever.
Something vaguely resembling acting happens when his girlfriend visits him in the hospital and tries to comfort him, but he tells her to break up with him...for some reason. Then psychiatrists come in and...I do not kid...explain to this guy that his broken spine is actually a result of a bad relationship with his father. The psychiatrist starts spouting all this pseudo-freudian bullshit that makes him look like an evil villain man (the scary string music that swells when he enters the room helps, too). Apparently they need to OPEN HIS BRAIN to fix him. They need to run experiments. Because that's what evil, evil psychiatry is all about: being evil. And opening brains.
His girlfriend comes back after being shot down HARD and apologizes...and gives him the Evolution of a Science from the Book of Dianetics. He starts to read. According to L. Ron Hubbard, all pain is a product of something going wrong in the subconscious brain. (note to L. Ron Hubbard: attacking Freudian science and then using the subconscious mind as part of your bat-shit philosophy makes you look like a big, greasy penis. As if you needed any help.) The footballer reads about how he can do away with his pain by remembering its source. He does this by thinking REAL hard. Apparently when he was knocked out, one of his teammates stood over his unconscious body and said he would never walk again...So THAT'S what broke his spine!!! Damn...words hurt, dont they? You know what else hurts? When two spinal discs sever the nerve that connects your brain to everything below your stomach.
BUT LO!!!! After reading Dianetics, the boy did move his toes and got out of bed. As if that weren't ludicrous enough, he started dancing. The evil psychiatrists enter and tell him that he needs to lay back down in bed...becuase they're evil...but no. The now-healthy football dude walks out of the hospital...fit as a fiddle.
Man, life is funny sometimes...
About scientologists: they're a whacky bunch. I visited their church on Montgomery St. after some coffee in North Beach and learned this up close and personal. I did a stress test. I said my name was Charlie Rudolph. I talked about my manager -- tom -- who was a 'douche' and wouldn't let me work enough hours. Apparently this caused me 'stress' which was easily read by their mind-energy-reading machine. It was special.
then
I watched a screening of The Evolution of a Science. Here's Charlie's one-word review: unfuckingbelievable. Synopsis: The film--very well produced, btw...thanks hollywood--starts off in the 40s with a young boy playing football with his father. Upbeat jazz music plays in the background. Then we see this little boy grow into a young man...a college football player in the 1950s. It's the big game! He's going for the big catch...oh SHIT...he's hit! He's down. He aint movin'. Damn...he's paralyzed from the waist down. His dreams are ruined...forever.
Something vaguely resembling acting happens when his girlfriend visits him in the hospital and tries to comfort him, but he tells her to break up with him...for some reason. Then psychiatrists come in and...I do not kid...explain to this guy that his broken spine is actually a result of a bad relationship with his father. The psychiatrist starts spouting all this pseudo-freudian bullshit that makes him look like an evil villain man (the scary string music that swells when he enters the room helps, too). Apparently they need to OPEN HIS BRAIN to fix him. They need to run experiments. Because that's what evil, evil psychiatry is all about: being evil. And opening brains.
His girlfriend comes back after being shot down HARD and apologizes...and gives him the Evolution of a Science from the Book of Dianetics. He starts to read. According to L. Ron Hubbard, all pain is a product of something going wrong in the subconscious brain. (note to L. Ron Hubbard: attacking Freudian science and then using the subconscious mind as part of your bat-shit philosophy makes you look like a big, greasy penis. As if you needed any help.) The footballer reads about how he can do away with his pain by remembering its source. He does this by thinking REAL hard. Apparently when he was knocked out, one of his teammates stood over his unconscious body and said he would never walk again...So THAT'S what broke his spine!!! Damn...words hurt, dont they? You know what else hurts? When two spinal discs sever the nerve that connects your brain to everything below your stomach.
BUT LO!!!! After reading Dianetics, the boy did move his toes and got out of bed. As if that weren't ludicrous enough, he started dancing. The evil psychiatrists enter and tell him that he needs to lay back down in bed...becuase they're evil...but no. The now-healthy football dude walks out of the hospital...fit as a fiddle.
Man, life is funny sometimes...