I said what I wanted to say... no
Mom and Dad,
"The memorial isn't that big of a deal, gramps said to Dad." That's right out of an email you sent me. My whole reason for coming home was the memorial. I'm not "shutting out" the family. I'm choosing not to come home this weekend, and I simply cannot. It's not that big of a deal in the first place, as you said yourself. The reason I can't is because I have been chosen to do a modern trio, which is having its first mandatory rehearsal early this Sunday. I already emailed Nay to inform her about the situation and to tell grandpa and grandma I'm sorry I couldn't make it and I love them and miss them very much.
I understand lying is wrong. I have admitted I was wrong in doing so. After Dad's first email to me, which really made me believe he cared about me, I decided I WANTED both of you to know the truth. I WANTED to start being honest with you, so I HAD to tell you my situation. And it was very, very difficult to do, but I KNEW if I wanted to fix things I had to do it. I HAD to tell you what I had been doing and with whom, knowing your opinion would not be in favor of my previous actions. That is why I told Dad, "What matters to me is not your opinion, what matters is that I be honest". I didn't say I don't value and care about your opinion to say "fuck you, I don't care", I said that because I can't change what I've done, but I felt you knowing about it was more important than what you think of it. I didn't make that phone call to make the situation more difficult; I made it to begin a better relationship with you.
As I told Dad on the phone, I WANT to be honest with you, which is a statement I am sorry to say I have never made before this week. I really do not want to keep things from you anymore. I want to know your opinions and I want you to know mine. I want to be able to discuss these with you in an adult conversation where no one's opinion is superior to another's. I want a more adult relationship with you where I don't feel I have to hide things from you. I know that will involve me acting more respectfully and responsibly at times, and I am prepared to do so.
I believe my statements yesterday were necessary for our relationship to grow into something better than it was before. My goal is to make it so we can communicate as adults with honest exchanges of opinions and ideas. This is the only means of me hearing your thoughts about situations and taking your advice to heart. I may have went about this in the wrong way, but I'm at a loss for what the right way is, and I hope you can help me with this. I love you both very much and you are a big part of my life.
Love,
Rachel Reine
"The memorial isn't that big of a deal, gramps said to Dad." That's right out of an email you sent me. My whole reason for coming home was the memorial. I'm not "shutting out" the family. I'm choosing not to come home this weekend, and I simply cannot. It's not that big of a deal in the first place, as you said yourself. The reason I can't is because I have been chosen to do a modern trio, which is having its first mandatory rehearsal early this Sunday. I already emailed Nay to inform her about the situation and to tell grandpa and grandma I'm sorry I couldn't make it and I love them and miss them very much.
I understand lying is wrong. I have admitted I was wrong in doing so. After Dad's first email to me, which really made me believe he cared about me, I decided I WANTED both of you to know the truth. I WANTED to start being honest with you, so I HAD to tell you my situation. And it was very, very difficult to do, but I KNEW if I wanted to fix things I had to do it. I HAD to tell you what I had been doing and with whom, knowing your opinion would not be in favor of my previous actions. That is why I told Dad, "What matters to me is not your opinion, what matters is that I be honest". I didn't say I don't value and care about your opinion to say "fuck you, I don't care", I said that because I can't change what I've done, but I felt you knowing about it was more important than what you think of it. I didn't make that phone call to make the situation more difficult; I made it to begin a better relationship with you.
As I told Dad on the phone, I WANT to be honest with you, which is a statement I am sorry to say I have never made before this week. I really do not want to keep things from you anymore. I want to know your opinions and I want you to know mine. I want to be able to discuss these with you in an adult conversation where no one's opinion is superior to another's. I want a more adult relationship with you where I don't feel I have to hide things from you. I know that will involve me acting more respectfully and responsibly at times, and I am prepared to do so.
I believe my statements yesterday were necessary for our relationship to grow into something better than it was before. My goal is to make it so we can communicate as adults with honest exchanges of opinions and ideas. This is the only means of me hearing your thoughts about situations and taking your advice to heart. I may have went about this in the wrong way, but I'm at a loss for what the right way is, and I hope you can help me with this. I love you both very much and you are a big part of my life.
Love,
Rachel Reine