Cranky Post: You Don't Need a Cell Phone For Your Kid

[chayam]

I received an email today from someone wanting a cell phone for her son; her son's was stolen and she was hoping someone might have an extra (Verizon, specifically) cell phone they could give her. "When he's with his friends or has missed the bus it puts me at ease to know that he contact me and let me know what's going on," she wrote

Comments

Re: Harumph!

[sennomo]

Notice that I am *not* attempting to define cell phones as "need" or "not need" - I'm not taking sides on that.

But the whole point of the original post, and my response to it, was precisely about need, not about merely liking or valuing something. If you're not talking about need, then I don't understand your original problem with what I said. (I never said that new things are not valuable.)

All these arguments about how you "don't need" a cell phone just seem like assertions lacking data.

If you are seriously pressing such a point, I ask:
1) What kind of data do you want?
2) Are you asserting that cell phones are more vital than running water?

We're in no position to take a position on the topic, IMO.

Why are we in no such position? We are members of the same society. We collectively determine values and norms. We (including you) take positions on such things every day, even if we are not always very vocal about it.

Moreover, are you asserting that need is purely a matter of opinion?

I don't want to raise a child to feel that a cell phone is a necessity. Am I overbearing for taking such a stance? I am not comfortable with neighbors asking me to give their kid a cell phone because they think the kid needs it; I would help the kid with clothes, though. Am I being unfairly arbitrary?

Re: Harumph!

[cos]

You're expressing and living by your values. Other people have different values. They're shaped by context. I have a friend who thought it'd be better to raise her children without them using computers or the net until they were older, and so she did. I would never have made such a choice, because I think they'll be in some ways less well prepared for the world they're going to live in. I also know that some things I consider basic needs, like a phone and water, are not considered such by other people. It's not my place to tell them "you do need this stuff", though that wouldn't keep me from wanting to help them have the things I consider important.

I believe cell phones or their equivalent will be considered a basic need along the same lines as running water, within my lifetime. I can't be sure of that, I just see it heading that way. I know that Internet access is getting close to becoming a basic need here in the US even though it was frivolously optional for most people just 10-15 years ago.

Regardless, I really don't like it when people who don't consider something important tell those who do consider it important something that sounds like "you spoiled idiot, nobody needs that!" which is what I was hearing here was sort of sounding like. To me that sounds unneccessarily judgemental, and perhaps showing some insecurity (OMG, if I don't say something, people are going to start thinking that thing is as important as they seem to think it is, and I'm worried about that change happening...) - I'd be more comfortable hearing people express the insecurity directly, rather than in a judgemental way, if that is indeed what they're feeling.

For example, it'd be interesting to me to know why someoene actively wants cell phones to be considered optional and unnecessary - that is, why someone wants them to not get to the level of importance that they seem to be heading towards; but hearing someone mock the role of cell phones in other people's lives for serious rather than for humor, just gives me a bad feeling.